nickishine

Hey all you all....

I am battling manic-depressive emotions daily. I'm not actually M/D, but with new sobriety and "feeling" the feelings - it's been a heck of a roller-coaster ride!!!

Yesterday was a seemingly bottomless pit. Today, great. I know I can't predict tomorrow cuz I'm not there yet but I'm expecting this same up and down, unpredictable -- overwhelming emotional crap that I just can't put a lid on or somehow control. When it's good, it's really good. When it's shhhi... it's bad!

Trying to just roll with it and know "this too shall pass". Easy to say to others, however, not so easy with myself!

I'm thanking God for the great day I had today and am grateful I wasn't on the flip side like the day before.

Hope YOU had a great Thanksgiving, and if not, there's always tomorrow!

:wtf2

lostbutterfly

I think you might find a few drunks and addicts here, lol! Me too, manic - depressive. Anger to crying and back again. Exhausting darn emotions!!

Just bounce with them - think ananda told me that!

imthat1guy

Sorry to hear about your rollercoaster ride...It's like my 5th time trying to actually stay sober and I have just over 100 days...My new sponsor has me on a "12 Step Boot Camp" Where I did a thorough 5th step on the 60th day and started the 9th step ammeds on the 90th day...I do have A LOT LESS rollercoaster days this go around, which I believe is a result of working the steps with my sponsor and going to 1 meeting/day

...I am not a doctor, but have similar "Manic-Type days" and behaviours as a bi-polar cousin of mine. The steps have helped me...That being said...well,

I just had a sip of Vodka, but I really didn't swallow...I went to chug my energy drink and started to chug my cousins Vodka poured into my emptied out Monster...I really didnt swallow , but it was a couple hours of the spitting and drinking soda to get the Vodka taste off my tongue

Relapse or Not? Ultimately I just care what my sponsor thinks, but curious on opinions 2


PS I like your little WTF Guy! And this too shall pass!!!

tommyk

Nick, I think you'll begin to recognize and somewhat control the emotional rollercoaster soon.

When we drink and drug we really don't have any emotions because they're subdued.

And as a result of drinks/drugs we want everything to happen immediately.

Give it some time, enjoy the ride.

nickishine

Thanks!

I know I'm not alone and thank God for that!!! It's just so frustrating living in my own skin most of the time, ya know?

One minute at a time when it comes to those emotions for us, huh?!?....

Hope TODAY and right now is peaceful for you! :ghug3
Luv,
Nicki

nickishine

Imthat1guy,

OMG! Sorry to hear of your near slip! But thank God "you didn't swallow"! Hopefully that kept the bad taste from getting the slipping tiger woken again!

My opinion.... you didn't slip. You didn't have a conscious decision to do that and you "didn't swallow". Your sponsor will understand and give you a pass... if not, we certainly will here.

Question: Why did your friend put Vodka in your energy drink???? Maybe you should kick his/her butt (NO, just kidding) and wring their neck! Other option, let people know what's up, that your serious about abstaining from drinking and to respect that. They don't need to know anything further unless you choose to tell them. People who truly care for you will respect you, or should.

Just a thought...
......... HA HA ----- AND YOU DIDN'T!!!!

nickishine

TommyK,

Thanks for reminding me that it won't always be like this. Right now it's hard to imagine it any other way.... When people with some "time" and work the recovery angle tell me this, I'm tending to believe them these days. I'm not "uni-unique".

Thanks!
Nicki