hopingicanhelp

I sit here on Thanksgiving Day, thinking of all the things in my life that I am truly thankful for. First and foremost of course I am thankful that I have my son, he is my heart. Another thing that I am very thankful for right now is that I saw the light, and was finally almost two months ago able to get out of my abusive relationship with my crackhead addict ex b/f. When I first started posting on this forum I was looking for secret cures, for yall to tell me a shortcut way to "make him better." But in reality this site helped me realize things that I was trying to deny..like the fact that he was abusing me, forcing me to have sex when I didn't want to, tried to choke me twice, verbal abuse on a daily basis and much much more. I truly realize now that what they say is so true, that love is blind. When you love someone, you fail to see their faults...and when they are very big ones that put your well being in danger then that is unacceptable. But no matter who tries to tell you what, you will not see it until you are ready. And some people are not ready to say goodbye and move on and admit these things for a long long time. I am just glad that I woke up and saw the light when I did..that I did not allow him to continue to hurt me, and have an impact on my sons future. I'm saying a prayer right now for all of you out there that are battling the same things right now with people that you love. I pray that you will put your kids, and yourself first. YOU MATTER...and just because they will hurt if you leave them doesn't mean you should stay and waste your life away. YOU deserve to be happy. It is up to them to fix their lives, and no matter what you do you cannot fix them. You cannot take their money so they don't spend it, you cannot force them into therapy b/c it will not last, you cannot choose their path...they must make their own decisions...all you can do is help yourself, you get yourself and your kids out of the bad situation...and pray that one day they will find their way. And don't shed a tear as you walk out the door, get your number changed, get a new vehicle, and instruct people at work to call the cops when they come by...well I didn't anyways, and I never will again shed another tear for his sorry a$$...and neither should you. Look at the light...let it guide you.

Ann

Hi there, Hoping, good for you for getting away from a toxic relationship and getting you and your son to someplace safe.

We try not to tell anyone whether they should stay in a relationship or leave, because only they can make that decision.

However, when a relationship becomes abusive and even more so when there is a child involved...my suggestion is always to put some distance between you and sort it out one way or the other from a safe place. I used to volunteer at a women's shelter and I was so saddened to see how bad the problem of abuse has become, and even sadder to see the children who were frightened and sometimes abused themselves.

Stay on a good path, take care of yourself and your son, and I just know that there are wonderful dreams come true just waiting to happen for you.

Hugs

hope213

((((((hoping)))) you have come a long way baby !!!!! isn't recovery wonderful.