SoberStephanie7

Well... it's been 47 hours since my last shot of Vodka.... and I started the Ativan a couple of hours after that. I am not sure why I feel so tired this time... maybe because I have taken a little more ativan that I usually would and it's hitting me. Usually, after 24 hours the throwing up stops... but it has gotten worst today. I got clausterphobic in the grocery store and a little faint and had to leave hubby to pay for the groceries... and then I got so sleepy I came home and tried to sleep... but three phone calls and a bad charley horse later, I am back up and about... I am due for an ativan now, but I am thinking of taking 1/4 pill....

WHY WHY WHY WHY do I go through this? It's feels like crap when I drink.... hangovers feel like crap so I drink more to kill the hangover and then I feel worse when I am drunk... and then I get to this place where I am detoxing and I want to die I feel so bad (although i am not suicidal, lol... I just feel like death warmed over)...

I don't WANT to drink again. Thought of a shot of anything makes me want to toss my cookies... I am HAPPY when I am sober. I am MISERABLE when I am drunk.

Why do I to this to myself? Hubby says he wishes I could have a drink and be fine with one. I am not. I have proven that time again. THANK GOD he does not drink at all... I quit when I am pregnant. Cold turkey no questions asked... drinking a drop would never happen. I wish I could have another baby, lol... get 40 more weeks of sob!

But Why do we do this to ourselves?

Bamboozle

Hello, SoberS....welcome to SR!

Does a doctor know you're detoxing? Have your husband take you to the hospital if it gets bad. Please be safe. :ghug3

AW2486

We have a disease called alcoholism that tells us to drink when we know what it will do to us every time.

Can only offer what worked for me.. and that's AA. I found a power that took away the drink obsession.

Welcome to SR.. I hope you find something that works for you

Anna

I hope you feel better soon, Stephanie.

SoberStephanie7

I am up and around and all that... changing diapers, feeding kids (of course, DH is home with me through tomorrow to help out... he is very supportive) and I have hit 48 hours with no tremors, sweats, and of course no anxiety because of the ativan.... I am keeping food in mostly...

This last binge was only 10 days or so and started as usual... 2 vodkas when the kids were overnight at my moms....it progressed to when DH had the kids or the were in bed.. I never stopped eat or drinking water.... my day Monday ended with 6 or 7 mini wines and 3 mini vodkas over a 24 hour period....

So I am thinking this detox period should not be has harsh... I have been WAY sicker... never had the DT's or hallucinations or anything... and always night sweats by now, the chills and needing hot bath after hot bath.... throwing up even water..... I think at 48 hours out i am safe from the killer stuff so I am functionable now... and once m ymin dis set that I not going to die, the rest is easy.... I just have to not do it again...

Ananda

sounds like you are doing well...I hpe you are doing well today as well....and yes..that is the trick...to not do it again....reading adn posting here always helps though