Understanding How We Love
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
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Understanding How We Love
I've seen the types of love addressed on the site and the topic of whether it is harder to deal with a SO addict or a child addict and thought i would share this as it is something i have spiritually studied. There are different types of love - but not necessarily catagorized by who the person is that you are in a relationship with. some words are copied from others and some are my own.
Eros - Eros is probably what most people mean when they announce with a smile, "I'm in love." This type of love covers everything from queasy stomachs and warm fuzzy feelings to strong sensual passion. In order to exist eros is dependent upon the situation and circumstances. As long as a couple is enjoying a romantic situation, eros can thrive. But, as soon as hurtful words or actions appear, eros simply evaporates. This is most romantice relationships but not all.
Philia - We recognize philia and its meaning from the name Philadelphia, that is, the city of brotherly love. This is the love of friendship, best friends, and the fellowship of being with those people you enjoy. Eros love can become Philia love - when we become friends or partners more than lovers.
Agape - Unlike the previous two types of love, agape is not limited to being held hostage by its environment and someone's perception. The reason why agape can soar above these is because it is based upon the commitment of a decision. It entails the decision to proactively seek someone's well-being. Since it is not a knee jerk reaction nor just a responsive feeling to how I've been treated, agape is capable of acting in a hostile environment where there are no warm fuzzy feelings. Eros and Philia can become Agape love and this is the type of love that I would catagorize that most parents feel towards their child - but not all. This is also the love that your HP has for you.
My humble opinion is that its not whether or not you deal with a SO, a child, a parent, a sibling, or a friend - its whether the love you have for that person is Agape. I've dealt with both SO and child - the child was harder for me because it is Agape love whereas the SO for me was Eros but this may not be the case for everyone.
Eros - Eros is probably what most people mean when they announce with a smile, "I'm in love." This type of love covers everything from queasy stomachs and warm fuzzy feelings to strong sensual passion. In order to exist eros is dependent upon the situation and circumstances. As long as a couple is enjoying a romantic situation, eros can thrive. But, as soon as hurtful words or actions appear, eros simply evaporates. This is most romantice relationships but not all.
Philia - We recognize philia and its meaning from the name Philadelphia, that is, the city of brotherly love. This is the love of friendship, best friends, and the fellowship of being with those people you enjoy. Eros love can become Philia love - when we become friends or partners more than lovers.
Agape - Unlike the previous two types of love, agape is not limited to being held hostage by its environment and someone's perception. The reason why agape can soar above these is because it is based upon the commitment of a decision. It entails the decision to proactively seek someone's well-being. Since it is not a knee jerk reaction nor just a responsive feeling to how I've been treated, agape is capable of acting in a hostile environment where there are no warm fuzzy feelings. Eros and Philia can become Agape love and this is the type of love that I would catagorize that most parents feel towards their child - but not all. This is also the love that your HP has for you.
My humble opinion is that its not whether or not you deal with a SO, a child, a parent, a sibling, or a friend - its whether the love you have for that person is Agape. I've dealt with both SO and child - the child was harder for me because it is Agape love whereas the SO for me was Eros but this may not be the case for everyone.
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