break up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 2
break up
I have been sober for 1 month and 5 days after coming out of a Detox Center.
My partner and I ended our long - term relationship yesterday because she will be moving to another province for a job offer and this is making me feel emotionally weak, torn, and sad.
I am trying to keep strong but my emotions are like a roller coaster or a light switch. Although my emotions are not grounded as long as I can cry and accept that this is for the best of us then I can keep being healthy and stay sober.
I am letting her go on with her life and I too will move on. This is for the best. This is faith. This love is true and real, and whatever happens - happens.
Whoever was or is currently in a break up or lost someone I wanted to add that I understand how you feel because this woman was my first love.
My dad lost his best friend of 30 years a few days ago, and he said to me it is the same emotional point when there is a break up of your first love.
Can anyone elaborate me on this theory?
Thank you for listening,
Doctor Dali
My partner and I ended our long - term relationship yesterday because she will be moving to another province for a job offer and this is making me feel emotionally weak, torn, and sad.
I am trying to keep strong but my emotions are like a roller coaster or a light switch. Although my emotions are not grounded as long as I can cry and accept that this is for the best of us then I can keep being healthy and stay sober.
I am letting her go on with her life and I too will move on. This is for the best. This is faith. This love is true and real, and whatever happens - happens.
Whoever was or is currently in a break up or lost someone I wanted to add that I understand how you feel because this woman was my first love.
My dad lost his best friend of 30 years a few days ago, and he said to me it is the same emotional point when there is a break up of your first love.
Can anyone elaborate me on this theory?
Thank you for listening,
Doctor Dali
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I think it's true that we never forget our first love. I know I haven't.
It does take a lot of faith to believe that things are working out as they should, when it isn't the way you want them to work out. Keep an open mind and stay focused on your recovery.
It does take a lot of faith to believe that things are working out as they should, when it isn't the way you want them to work out. Keep an open mind and stay focused on your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Welcome to our site - and congratulations on your sober time. I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend is moving to another province - that must be incredibly hard.
Keep the focus where it belongs, as best you can, and on your recovery. Those early days and months can be a very emotional time, but just remember that they are only feelings, and that as painful as they are, they won't kill you.
Stay close to others in recovery, and have faith that you are on the right path.
Keep the focus where it belongs, as best you can, and on your recovery. Those early days and months can be a very emotional time, but just remember that they are only feelings, and that as painful as they are, they won't kill you.
Stay close to others in recovery, and have faith that you are on the right path.
Just starting out...
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 110
Congratulations on your sobriety. In regards to relationships I'm of the "whatever is meant to be will be" mentality. I know it is extremely painful right now, but the tears will eventually stop and a new day will dawn. Keep your chin up, you are on a good path for yourself.
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Dear Dali,
I can relate. I can relate to letting relationships go & losing someone in death -- my son a few years back.
I never thought I could see "colors" again. That the rainbow would never have any colors other than black & gray; that love would never flourish in my life again. I had my season(s). It did get better although I never thought my heart would heal from such raw pain.
I drank, used -- went places I never thought I'd go with drugs just to cope and found that only prolonged the agony.
I only have 4 days sobriety but somehow, someway that sharp pain that was preempted by loss(es) is not there as it was a few years back. It does and will get better. I am so glad you shared with us. Raw emotions are incredibly strong and suffocating. You are not alone -- and you wont be. Drinking, drugging has prolonged misery far too long! You have support and going "there" is no good anymore. Stay connected for all our sakes!
Best for you!
:ghug
I can relate. I can relate to letting relationships go & losing someone in death -- my son a few years back.
I never thought I could see "colors" again. That the rainbow would never have any colors other than black & gray; that love would never flourish in my life again. I had my season(s). It did get better although I never thought my heart would heal from such raw pain.
I drank, used -- went places I never thought I'd go with drugs just to cope and found that only prolonged the agony.
I only have 4 days sobriety but somehow, someway that sharp pain that was preempted by loss(es) is not there as it was a few years back. It does and will get better. I am so glad you shared with us. Raw emotions are incredibly strong and suffocating. You are not alone -- and you wont be. Drinking, drugging has prolonged misery far too long! You have support and going "there" is no good anymore. Stay connected for all our sakes!
Best for you!
:ghug
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Congrats on your sober time! And Welcome to our community! Please keep posting and having faith in your recovery-there is a lot of support here 
I can relate to the loss-I must say that there is a lot of truth to what you have said. I lost my husband (My second love and true love of my life) when he was in an accident the night before Thanksgiving he was in an accident at work and died December 1st. My first love was an alcoholic who killed himself....these two losses were very hard and still remain hard today but I have grown to know that they are where they need to be and so am I.
I have dated since my husband and had a few horrible losses but, they were for the best for me. So I do believe pain is pain no matter what the loss-however you sound good and know that you are doing what you need for yourself which is most important!
Keep moving forward with your recovery and know that we are here for you! Glad that you are here!
I can relate to the loss-I must say that there is a lot of truth to what you have said. I lost my husband (My second love and true love of my life) when he was in an accident the night before Thanksgiving he was in an accident at work and died December 1st. My first love was an alcoholic who killed himself....these two losses were very hard and still remain hard today but I have grown to know that they are where they need to be and so am I.
I have dated since my husband and had a few horrible losses but, they were for the best for me. So I do believe pain is pain no matter what the loss-however you sound good and know that you are doing what you need for yourself which is most important!
Keep moving forward with your recovery and know that we are here for you! Glad that you are here!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
It's sad and difficult to let dreams go....
My experience is this...the partner I had during my active alcoholism
is not the partner I wanted in recovery. He agreed.
I had changed ...our goals and lifestyles no longer meshed.
I'm glad you are here...well done on your sober progress..
My experience is this...the partner I had during my active alcoholism
is not the partner I wanted in recovery. He agreed.
I had changed ...our goals and lifestyles no longer meshed.
I'm glad you are here...well done on your sober progress..
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