Day Two
Hollyce Jones
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Golden State of California
Posts: 77
Day Two
Hello. 
I've been toying with the idea of quiting drinking alcohol altogether for years.
Recent Drama:
I was having happy hour drinks with some friends two days ago, then rode my bike home. It was a long trek, and I didn't realize how dang drunk I was until I was almost home. I'm actually worried that parts of the ride I don't even remember. At one point, while peddling up a big ol' hill... I dumped my bike. Suffered a bruised skull, shoulder, hip and knee.
I feel so stupid.
I went into the bar saying to myself, and out loud to the bartender, no hard alcohol. I'm just here for a few beers. Evidently, I cannot control how drunk I get anymore. I'm so upset and worried about that to the point of wanting to quit drinking completely. Not even a glass of wine with dinner. WOW...that thought really bums me out.
I haven't had the courage to admit to my fiance that I had been drunk when I fell on my bike. And If I have to lie, I feel things can only get worse.
Today is Day Two. I'm happy about that. Going to stay busy and away from drinking friends and bars this week. If I can stay sober for a week, I'll be proud.
I've been toying with the idea of quiting drinking alcohol altogether for years.
Recent Drama:
I was having happy hour drinks with some friends two days ago, then rode my bike home. It was a long trek, and I didn't realize how dang drunk I was until I was almost home. I'm actually worried that parts of the ride I don't even remember. At one point, while peddling up a big ol' hill... I dumped my bike. Suffered a bruised skull, shoulder, hip and knee.
I feel so stupid.
I went into the bar saying to myself, and out loud to the bartender, no hard alcohol. I'm just here for a few beers. Evidently, I cannot control how drunk I get anymore. I'm so upset and worried about that to the point of wanting to quit drinking completely. Not even a glass of wine with dinner. WOW...that thought really bums me out.
I haven't had the courage to admit to my fiance that I had been drunk when I fell on my bike. And If I have to lie, I feel things can only get worse.
Today is Day Two. I'm happy about that. Going to stay busy and away from drinking friends and bars this week. If I can stay sober for a week, I'll be proud.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome Hollyce. So, I guess you drove part of the way home blacked out. It is frightening when we finally realize what we're doing to ourselves. I got 3 DUI's before I even tried to quit. I was always going to moderate. I switched to just beer, and only intensified my drinking - a 30-pack a day all by my little self. (It was just beer, after all....) SR saved me, because these people showed me I was not alone, all the things I thought were unique to me were not. All the worries I had about losing my sense of humor and never having fun again went away. I saw there can be joy and hope without booze. I read and studied the things on here until I was ready. Teardrops all over my keyboard. It all sunk in, and finally I dumped my last beer out 10 mos. ago. You can do this, let us help. Love, Joanie
Hollyce Jones
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Golden State of California
Posts: 77
...
Just to clarify (and not like it's any better than driving drunk) I was on my bicycle when I crashed.
I'm home for lunch and happy to see people responded to my little Thread.
Thank you for the notes.
I'm home for lunch and happy to see people responded to my little Thread.
Thank you for the notes.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
Originally Posted by hollyce 
Just to clarify (and not like it's any better than driving drunk) I was on my bicycle when I crashed.
I crashed my road bike going waaaay too fast, good thing I was wearing a helmet or I'd probably be brain dead. Hit a patch of mud and the bike came out from under me. I was so drunk I didn't feel a thing until the alcohol wore off.
A week later I crashed my mountain bike, couldn't keep it straight so I hit a curb and fell over, almost hit a cactus. Again I tore myself up pretty good but I was so numb I didn't feel much pain.
Thank God I quit drinking shortly after that. Haven't had an accident since then. Whaddya know about that!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi and Welcome,
Good for you making the decision to live a sober life!
And, I think it's great that you don't want to lie to your fiance about your accident. Drinking turned me into someone who lied all the time. I hated it.
Good for you making the decision to live a sober life!
And, I think it's great that you don't want to lie to your fiance about your accident. Drinking turned me into someone who lied all the time. I hated it.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Welcome hollyce and congrats on Day 2!
All we have is today. Just do not drink TODAY and you will be fine.
Astro, you made me smile.
Funny how I used to constantly get bruised (not sure how) and burned while cooking. It was a vitamin deficiency, it was how my stove was positioned, etc.
Funny how I have not burned myself ONCE since I quit drinking.
All we have is today. Just do not drink TODAY and you will be fine.
Astro, you made me smile.
Funny how I used to constantly get bruised (not sure how) and burned while cooking. It was a vitamin deficiency, it was how my stove was positioned, etc.
Funny how I have not burned myself ONCE since I quit drinking.
Hollyce Jones
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Golden State of California
Posts: 77
Okay... so HI! Glad to have some new friends. I'm sure this will get easier. Right now I'm looking into AA meetings. I think I may even get some of my friends to join me??? Friends that have also considered quiting drinking for good.
What's been bugging me all day is I simply cannot stop thinking about alcohol. You know... I the different scenarios in which I may find myself tempted, especially since Turkey Day, my birthday, and Thanks Receiving (ie Christmas) are all approaching.
My fiance is planning on having friends over to play cards this Wednesday. I know there will be beer, and whiskey, and tequila, and and and! Uhg.
I just want to hide myself away until I know I won't make excuses to have "just one" drink. And I wish this shameful feeling would go away. Blah.
Glad to have some new friends. I'm sure this will get easier. Right now I'm looking into AA meetings. I think I may even get some of my friends to join me??? Friends that have also considered quiting drinking for good.What's been bugging me all day is I simply cannot stop thinking about alcohol. You know... I the different scenarios in which I may find myself tempted, especially since Turkey Day, my birthday, and Thanks Receiving (ie Christmas) are all approaching.
My fiance is planning on having friends over to play cards this Wednesday. I know there will be beer, and whiskey, and tequila, and and and! Uhg.
I just want to hide myself away until I know I won't make excuses to have "just one" drink. And I wish this shameful feeling would go away. Blah.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
Originally Posted by hollyce
Right now I'm looking into AA meetings. I think I may even get some of my friends to join me???
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by hollyce
Okay... so HI! Glad to have some new friends. I'm sure this will get easier. Right now I'm looking into AA meetings. I think I may even get some of my friends to join me??? Friends that have also considered quiting drinking for good.
What's been bugging me all day is I simply cannot stop thinking about alcohol. You know... I the different scenarios in which I may find myself tempted, especially since Turkey Day, my birthday, and Thanks Receiving (ie Christmas) are all approaching.
My fiance is planning on having friends over to play cards this Wednesday. I know there will be beer, and whiskey, and tequila, and and and! Uhg.
I just want to hide myself away until I know I won't make excuses to have "just one" drink. And I wish this shameful feeling would go away. Blah.
Glad to have some new friends. I'm sure this will get easier. Right now I'm looking into AA meetings. I think I may even get some of my friends to join me??? Friends that have also considered quiting drinking for good.What's been bugging me all day is I simply cannot stop thinking about alcohol. You know... I the different scenarios in which I may find myself tempted, especially since Turkey Day, my birthday, and Thanks Receiving (ie Christmas) are all approaching.
My fiance is planning on having friends over to play cards this Wednesday. I know there will be beer, and whiskey, and tequila, and and and! Uhg.
I just want to hide myself away until I know I won't make excuses to have "just one" drink. And I wish this shameful feeling would go away. Blah.
I think you mentioned above that you have not told your fiance about your drinking (or haven't told your fiance about your desire to stop drinking??).
Either way - try this.
Sit down with them and explain that you discovered that when you have 1 - you can't stop from having 2. Explain that you are frightened by this. Explain that you are uncomfortable with the plans for Wednesday night because if you "give in" and drink - you are gonna get drunk.
I guess what I am getting at is this : Give absolute honesty a try - it will do wonders in all areas of your life (including the upcoming marriage).
What would your reaction be if your fiance told the same story to you - that you posted on here? Would you be angry and disappointed? -OR- Would you be absolutely supportive?
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Hi. I did that in Catalina Island. I worked out there for a summer doing massage therapy (2005). Had my bike shipped over, rode to a nearby concert to meet up with my then boyfriend and on my way back, ate it in a total blackout, left may bike and woke up in the morning going "what the Helllll". For me, drinking has only gotten worse. I now could not even imagine having just 1 glass of wine with dinner... LOL! In my early stages, maybe. Hopefully you don't have to go where I have and can catch it and get support earlier on???.... I've come to realize not everyone's "bottom" is the same. Unfortunately for me, I had to wait another 20+ years to come to the realization that I just can't do this anymore. There's got to be more than life that the bottle and 4 walls! I will tread with others on this journey and hopefully find out that the destination just maybe in the journey.
Good luck.... ask Santa for a new drink and a new bike. :chatter
Best
Nicki
Good luck.... ask Santa for a new drink and a new bike. :chatter
Best
Nicki
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Hollyce,
You are doing fine. But like I said, you have to stay in TODAY. Do not worry about Thanksgiving, New Years, your birthday, vacations, etc. Just do not drink for TODAY. I still can not imagine not drinking FOREVER. But I do not need to worry about that because today I will not pick up a drink, no matter what!
Have a great day!
You are doing fine. But like I said, you have to stay in TODAY. Do not worry about Thanksgiving, New Years, your birthday, vacations, etc. Just do not drink for TODAY. I still can not imagine not drinking FOREVER. But I do not need to worry about that because today I will not pick up a drink, no matter what!
Have a great day!
Hollyce Jones
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Golden State of California
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by sugErspun
I think you mentioned above that you have not told your fiance about your drinking (or haven't told your fiance about your desire to stop drinking??).
Either way - try this.
Sit down with them and explain that you discovered that when you have 1 - you can't stop from having 2. Explain that you are frightened by this. Explain that you are uncomfortable with the plans for Wednesday night because if you "give in" and drink - you are gonna get drunk.
I guess what I am getting at is this : Give absolute honesty a try - it will do wonders in all areas of your life (including the upcoming marriage).
What would your reaction be if your fiance told the same story to you - that you posted on here? Would you be angry and disappointed? -OR- Would you be absolutely supportive?
Either way - try this.
Sit down with them and explain that you discovered that when you have 1 - you can't stop from having 2. Explain that you are frightened by this. Explain that you are uncomfortable with the plans for Wednesday night because if you "give in" and drink - you are gonna get drunk.
I guess what I am getting at is this : Give absolute honesty a try - it will do wonders in all areas of your life (including the upcoming marriage).
What would your reaction be if your fiance told the same story to you - that you posted on here? Would you be angry and disappointed? -OR- Would you be absolutely supportive?
We've been drinking together since the day we met. And that's a part of a dynamic that is going to test our relationship as I steer clear of boozing with him.
My hope is that one day he'll quit for good too. For now, he's only, "taking a break." Darnit! I wish I could go that route.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 164
Hi Hollyce,
Welcome! You are doing great! As others have said keep in the day, don't think about next week, next month, next year...keep it in the hour if you have to! I also agree that you have to be totally honest, with yourself first but also with the people around you that love you! I had to sit down with my husband and come clean on everything, the affairs, the drugs, the booze, all of it and believe me I completely thought at the time he was going to walk away and he would have been completely justified in doing so, but to my surprise he said are you willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober and I said yes...he's been my biggest supporter since that day! (even before if I'm really honest, just didn't know it then)
The bottom line is that the honesty is for YOU! For the first time in my life, I am not hiding, cheating and lying and I sleep through the night!!!!
As I've heard some many places in the last couple of years....you cannot change what you don't acknowledge! Keep it real for you!!!!
Wishing you all the best! Keep coming back, alot of great sobriety here!
In Peace & Love,
Lisa
Welcome! You are doing great! As others have said keep in the day, don't think about next week, next month, next year...keep it in the hour if you have to! I also agree that you have to be totally honest, with yourself first but also with the people around you that love you! I had to sit down with my husband and come clean on everything, the affairs, the drugs, the booze, all of it and believe me I completely thought at the time he was going to walk away and he would have been completely justified in doing so, but to my surprise he said are you willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober and I said yes...he's been my biggest supporter since that day! (even before if I'm really honest, just didn't know it then)
The bottom line is that the honesty is for YOU! For the first time in my life, I am not hiding, cheating and lying and I sleep through the night!!!!
As I've heard some many places in the last couple of years....you cannot change what you don't acknowledge! Keep it real for you!!!!
Wishing you all the best! Keep coming back, alot of great sobriety here!
In Peace & Love,
Lisa
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 15
I am on Day 2 as well (25 hours since my last drink) and I sorta feel like crud right now... nauseous... which I didn't feel even a little while ago...
All I know is that I REFUSE to live drunk, or even drink... I have two precious babies that need a clearheaded and happy mommy, even though I would never care for them or drive them drunk, the affects on my marriage affect them and their wellbeing.
I blacked a few weeks back while driving.... thank god DH was home with the kids.... I woke up petrefied the police would be at my door because I hit someone or something... not a good feeling.... and sneaking around and hiding the booze from DH and parents is just so wrong.... I felt guilty... and then drank more... and OMG, the insomnia and the mean person I became towards my husband,... I HAVE TO STOP... I just I felt not so sick right now...
All I know is that I REFUSE to live drunk, or even drink... I have two precious babies that need a clearheaded and happy mommy, even though I would never care for them or drive them drunk, the affects on my marriage affect them and their wellbeing.
I blacked a few weeks back while driving.... thank god DH was home with the kids.... I woke up petrefied the police would be at my door because I hit someone or something... not a good feeling.... and sneaking around and hiding the booze from DH and parents is just so wrong.... I felt guilty... and then drank more... and OMG, the insomnia and the mean person I became towards my husband,... I HAVE TO STOP... I just I felt not so sick right now...
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