Not sure what to do..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
Not sure what to do..
I have been doing a pretty good job of Letting go and letting God regarding my Alcoholic son and also my daughter who has emotional problems. But now my daughter has a new problem, that is she is having alot of migraines and its really affecting her life, what I am really concerned about is that she just started taking morphine, so I am thinking is this a start of some other major problems. I am visiting her now from out of town to help her, but I am so afraid that this is just the beginning. She has had one crisis after another crisis ever since she left home. But I have been able to learn to live my life and take care of myself and detach with the help of the program, at least I am alot better than I was. I don't know where to draw the line with her, or how much I should help her. She says she would like me to come and help her once in awhile, but how long can I do that, I have a life at home, It a 9 hour trip here and it can get expensive...This situation has completely confused me, I want to be there for her, but I feel totally overwhelmed right now.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
Morphine? geeze that's pretty extreme. I get migranes - used to get them so badly that i ended up in the ER a few times. I know the pain is unbearable - many people say they get migranes but usually dont have true migranes but just bad headaches. True migranes will make you throw up, your vision will become cluttered with squiggly lines, and your head will literaly feel like it its about to explode - it is nothing like a regular headache and i truly sympathize with her pain. But that doctor is treating the pain and not the problem. it amazes me how many docs are passing out these addictive meds to patients instead of helping them fix the problem.
Has she seen a good neurologist? I've posted some of this before but migranes have triggers almost like alergies and a good neurologist can help her work through that to find her triggers. Mine was birth control and alcohol but everyone is different. They will also do a catscan to rule out that she has a physical problem. I had imitrex shots that they gave me when i had a bad one. they had a dispenser that did the entire shot for you - just set it on your skin and hit a button - pretty painless and the migrane disappeared within minutes. They also have this in a pill form but i never got the same results from the pill as the shot. This is not a pain medication.
This is a medical condition and i see nothing wrong with helping her but maybe not in the manner that she wants - which sounds like a nurse. Help her find a good neurologis and go with her - a catscan for a young person can be scary. Be there with her to talk to the doctor about possible triggers and how to maintain. Migranes dont go away and obviously she cannot stay on morphine indefinetely. The good news is that once she figures out her triggers she can learn to control them. I get headaches everyday but i dont get the bad ones anymore because i know i have to stop them before they get to that point.
my cure - (1) prevention - no birth control and rarely any alcohol; and (2) migranes are thought to be a circulation problem so when i do feel one coming on i stop it immediately with a BC powder and a Redbull - the aspirin thins out the blood and the caffenine expands the capillaries and kicks them out before they get bad. obviously a doc wouldnt recommend that (i dont either for anyone else) and i know its unhealthy but to me its better than the alternative.
Has she seen a good neurologist? I've posted some of this before but migranes have triggers almost like alergies and a good neurologist can help her work through that to find her triggers. Mine was birth control and alcohol but everyone is different. They will also do a catscan to rule out that she has a physical problem. I had imitrex shots that they gave me when i had a bad one. they had a dispenser that did the entire shot for you - just set it on your skin and hit a button - pretty painless and the migrane disappeared within minutes. They also have this in a pill form but i never got the same results from the pill as the shot. This is not a pain medication.
This is a medical condition and i see nothing wrong with helping her but maybe not in the manner that she wants - which sounds like a nurse. Help her find a good neurologis and go with her - a catscan for a young person can be scary. Be there with her to talk to the doctor about possible triggers and how to maintain. Migranes dont go away and obviously she cannot stay on morphine indefinetely. The good news is that once she figures out her triggers she can learn to control them. I get headaches everyday but i dont get the bad ones anymore because i know i have to stop them before they get to that point.
my cure - (1) prevention - no birth control and rarely any alcohol; and (2) migranes are thought to be a circulation problem so when i do feel one coming on i stop it immediately with a BC powder and a Redbull - the aspirin thins out the blood and the caffenine expands the capillaries and kicks them out before they get bad. obviously a doc wouldnt recommend that (i dont either for anyone else) and i know its unhealthy but to me its better than the alternative.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 123
wow, since when doe they start giving morphne for migranes? this dr. is doing nothing for her, he is giving her a band aid, instead of looking at other ways of helping her? does he expecther to be on morphine the rest of her life? she wil have to find other treatments, otherwise she will be addicted to that and her headaches will become worse in the long run..
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
I, too, am perplexed about the morphine. I've never heard of that.
No matter what, though, once children are adults, it is important that they learn to manage their own life, whatever that means.
You may want to ask, what is the "help" she really needs and is it you who should be giving it? Sometimes it's better to teach a person to fish (if they want to learn) and to give them a fish.
I also created a rule for myself - if "helping" someone depleted me (if it was unsustainable financially, emotionally or physically), I decided it was not my HP's will that I do it, that he had another pland and that my work was learning how to trust my HP in the situation.
I also re-defined my role in my addicts life - to love them and tell them the truth and to be there for them if they wanted my opinion. I don't always do this because I'm still struggling with my codependence, but it helps a lot to know what my role is and to try to live it.
Hope you find a way to live in peace as your children find their way
No matter what, though, once children are adults, it is important that they learn to manage their own life, whatever that means.
You may want to ask, what is the "help" she really needs and is it you who should be giving it? Sometimes it's better to teach a person to fish (if they want to learn) and to give them a fish.
I also created a rule for myself - if "helping" someone depleted me (if it was unsustainable financially, emotionally or physically), I decided it was not my HP's will that I do it, that he had another pland and that my work was learning how to trust my HP in the situation.
I also re-defined my role in my addicts life - to love them and tell them the truth and to be there for them if they wanted my opinion. I don't always do this because I'm still struggling with my codependence, but it helps a lot to know what my role is and to try to live it.
Hope you find a way to live in peace as your children find their way
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
What kind of help does she need? Besides possible treatment for her headaches (or her addiction to morphine)...
There are plenty of drugs out their to treat migraines but morphine normally isn't one of them. I can't believe she found a doctor that would prescribe that. (The addict in me is screaming WHY CAN'T I FIND ONE OF THOSE!)
You can't control what she does, but you could certainly suggest a more reasonable course of treatment for migraines. It's up to her to follow through with it though.
You could even express your concerns and tell her "you have your eye on her because youre worried about her". But you can't make her get help if it's a problem. You can only let her know it's there if she decides she needs it.
There are plenty of drugs out their to treat migraines but morphine normally isn't one of them. I can't believe she found a doctor that would prescribe that. (The addict in me is screaming WHY CAN'T I FIND ONE OF THOSE!)
You can't control what she does, but you could certainly suggest a more reasonable course of treatment for migraines. It's up to her to follow through with it though.
You could even express your concerns and tell her "you have your eye on her because youre worried about her". But you can't make her get help if it's a problem. You can only let her know it's there if she decides she needs it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 269
My recovering AH was also used to suffer from migraines. His doctor (neuro) classified his headaches as cluster migraines, which lasted days at a time. Which I believe my husband was an awesome actor. He was prescribed 90 morphine pills per month. He was like a kid in a candy store, until he hit the jackpot and was referred to another doctor who prescribed 110 oxys per month. For migraines...geeze, I still don't understand....
I do hope your daughter gets the help she needs. Hopefully sooner than later!
I do hope your daughter gets the help she needs. Hopefully sooner than later!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
Thankyou so much for your help...everyone...Yes, I couldn't believe it either when she told me she was taking morphine, which she started just a week ago...She has tried different things already, different med, injections. I am not sure if she has seen a neuroligist yet or not. She just started going to a pain clinic and went to one group session with other living with pain, she found that helpful being with others who are going throught the same thing. I will be going with her tomorrow to see her family doctor and ask him some questions....I really like the advice about it not being my HP will if it depletes me financially, emotionally, or physically...that's very helpful...Again I need to trust my HP with this.......
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Just want to reach out with a big ole Mom hug.
With my own son I have learned to do all that I can do without losing my own serenity.
When the chaos of his life effected me too much, I knew it was time to draw back and ramp up the way I take care of myself through exercise, healthy eating, therapy and al-anon.
I use to get caught up in fear, doubt and worry. It just gave me a stomach ache and insomnia...it didn't change anything. Now I just accept what is and do the best I can when I am able or want to.
My son is also dual diagnosis with mental illness/addiction.
When he is depressed or suicidal, I do jump in and offer help. I don't see this as enabling.
With my own son I have learned to do all that I can do without losing my own serenity.
When the chaos of his life effected me too much, I knew it was time to draw back and ramp up the way I take care of myself through exercise, healthy eating, therapy and al-anon.
I use to get caught up in fear, doubt and worry. It just gave me a stomach ache and insomnia...it didn't change anything. Now I just accept what is and do the best I can when I am able or want to.
My son is also dual diagnosis with mental illness/addiction.
When he is depressed or suicidal, I do jump in and offer help. I don't see this as enabling.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
I went with my daughter to see her doctor yesterday. He is giving her as he says its not as strong as morphine, its called hydromorphine. He is giving it to her to break the pain cycle then switch to something else...So I did feel better after seeing him,BUT last night she got all emotional and was talking like she is feeling hopeless and can't go on...so I was freaked out and could not sleep last night. I suppose to go back home tomorrow, but I am afraid whats going to happen. For the most part she seem ok then her mood changes....She is seeing a councellor and her doctor seems very supportive and she is waiting to see another specialist, also started group therapy. I am afraid to leave her alone at the same time this situation is making me sick....
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
