I HAVE to quit smoking
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I HAVE to quit smoking
I have been trying to get a procedure done that will greatly improve my health and depression.
I was denied in March because of what I did to myself last year and was told I was nowhere near mentally stable enough to undergo the procedure. I really let it get to me. I guess thats why I went on a total destruction path not too long after. But I went back in October and the Dr said he can see a big difference in me and that he is going to consider it as long as I be evaluated by their pdoc and keep showing improvment. I saw their pdoc Wed and he says I am a good candidate. He thinks alot of the things like depression and things I have done were caused by my using. I knew that already. And he says he will approve me. BUT I HAVE to quit smoking cigarettes or I will not be able to have it done. And I have to stay quit even after.
This kinda freaks me out. Honestly. Quitting smoking seems alot scarier than quitting drugs.
Its like all I have left to keep me sane.
I know thats not true. but it sure feels like it.
I feel panicky at the thought of not smoking again.
Its like my security blanket right now.
I tried twice already since Wed to stop and it lasted a day. I couldnt handle it. I got really cranky and on edge.
But I try to think of the wonderful benefits of this surgery. How much it will help my health and the pain in my knees and back. Also it will help me feel better about myself and I am sure get rid of this depression I get sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror.
And Having to quit smoking is a great benefit too. But I feel like thats all I have left to enjoy.
And honestly I dont even enjoy it. I smoke cause it calms me. Its familiar. A crutch I guess. It just feels like this is going to be way harder than the drugs.
I want to quit. But now that I HAVE to ..It is more intense.
I will be heartbroken all over again if I screw this up.
I have patches. But they are just sitting collecting dust.
Why am I so freaked out about quitting?
Anyone else feel like that?
2 of my aunts who smoked like chimneys just stopped one day and havent smoked in over a year.
I am going to have to do this. Not only for the procedure. But its something I have been wanting to do for awhile.
Not to mention..I will no longer be able to eat like I do ever again after this procedure. Thats another thing that is like overwhelming.
But it will be so worth it. To me anyway.
Its all a very good thing. All of it. But geez. I am so use to tearing myself up. All my pleasures are being stripped from me.
Thx for reading. I just wanted to vent.
I was denied in March because of what I did to myself last year and was told I was nowhere near mentally stable enough to undergo the procedure. I really let it get to me. I guess thats why I went on a total destruction path not too long after. But I went back in October and the Dr said he can see a big difference in me and that he is going to consider it as long as I be evaluated by their pdoc and keep showing improvment. I saw their pdoc Wed and he says I am a good candidate. He thinks alot of the things like depression and things I have done were caused by my using. I knew that already. And he says he will approve me. BUT I HAVE to quit smoking cigarettes or I will not be able to have it done. And I have to stay quit even after.
This kinda freaks me out. Honestly. Quitting smoking seems alot scarier than quitting drugs.
Its like all I have left to keep me sane.
I know thats not true. but it sure feels like it.
I feel panicky at the thought of not smoking again.
Its like my security blanket right now.
I tried twice already since Wed to stop and it lasted a day. I couldnt handle it. I got really cranky and on edge.
But I try to think of the wonderful benefits of this surgery. How much it will help my health and the pain in my knees and back. Also it will help me feel better about myself and I am sure get rid of this depression I get sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror.
And Having to quit smoking is a great benefit too. But I feel like thats all I have left to enjoy.
And honestly I dont even enjoy it. I smoke cause it calms me. Its familiar. A crutch I guess. It just feels like this is going to be way harder than the drugs.
I want to quit. But now that I HAVE to ..It is more intense.
I will be heartbroken all over again if I screw this up.
I have patches. But they are just sitting collecting dust.
Why am I so freaked out about quitting?
Anyone else feel like that?
2 of my aunts who smoked like chimneys just stopped one day and havent smoked in over a year.
I am going to have to do this. Not only for the procedure. But its something I have been wanting to do for awhile.
Not to mention..I will no longer be able to eat like I do ever again after this procedure. Thats another thing that is like overwhelming.
But it will be so worth it. To me anyway.
Its all a very good thing. All of it. But geez. I am so use to tearing myself up. All my pleasures are being stripped from me.
Thx for reading. I just wanted to vent.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish)))
I do totally understand. I need to quit smoking, too, but keep putting it off. I feel like "dammit, I gave up crack, do I have to give up THIS, too?" I also feel that quitting smoking is harder for me. Everyone I work with not only smokes, but smokes my brand.
I quit for 10 days, last year, and I was a grumpy gus. This isn't a good thing, when you wait tables and depend on tips. I'm still trying to get another job and if/when I do, I will be tackling the quitting smoking thing with you. I also don't want to gain weight, which I did when I tried to quit before.
There are so many benefits to quitting, and we both know that.
Just wanted you to know, I really do understand.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I do totally understand. I need to quit smoking, too, but keep putting it off. I feel like "dammit, I gave up crack, do I have to give up THIS, too?" I also feel that quitting smoking is harder for me. Everyone I work with not only smokes, but smokes my brand.
I quit for 10 days, last year, and I was a grumpy gus. This isn't a good thing, when you wait tables and depend on tips. I'm still trying to get another job and if/when I do, I will be tackling the quitting smoking thing with you. I also don't want to gain weight, which I did when I tried to quit before.
There are so many benefits to quitting, and we both know that.
Just wanted you to know, I really do understand.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
((Trish))
I understand..
it is one thing to quit smoking and it is a completely different thing to quit smoking in the wake of giving up your DOC...
I see, firsthand how much my daughter depends on her cigs as she tries to stay away from the booze...
she , however is no where near quitting, though..
if you could just take the support you need (patches) try and trust the process and calm yourself and give it a go, it might work out for you...know anyone else in your corner of the world whose quitting that you could buddy-up with and do F to F?
the fear you have about giving up your last crutch is escalating your anxiety about it...I think..
it will not be easy. but decide to do it and commit...we know you have the strength and the audacity to pull this off
...it just seems scary...
I'm rooting for ya
I understand..
it is one thing to quit smoking and it is a completely different thing to quit smoking in the wake of giving up your DOC...
I see, firsthand how much my daughter depends on her cigs as she tries to stay away from the booze...
she , however is no where near quitting, though..
if you could just take the support you need (patches) try and trust the process and calm yourself and give it a go, it might work out for you...know anyone else in your corner of the world whose quitting that you could buddy-up with and do F to F?
the fear you have about giving up your last crutch is escalating your anxiety about it...I think..
it will not be easy. but decide to do it and commit...we know you have the strength and the audacity to pull this off
...it just seems scary...I'm rooting for ya
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Hi Trish, I sympathize completely, it is not easy to do at all. I'm trying to quit again too because I know how much better I feel when I'm not smoking. I'm not having much luck, but I've done it before and I know that it is possible. Take care.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
when you work out how to quit Trish can you tell my gf? 
Like everything else, it really is possible
After all, it's not like you're giving up something good for you...
yeah yeah I know - shut up LOL
Good luck!
D
Like everything else, it really is possible
After all, it's not like you're giving up something good for you...
yeah yeah I know - shut up LOL
Good luck!
D
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
LOL Dee!
Trish I cannot say that I know how you are feeling because I have not had
any addictions other than cigarettes in my life....but I do agree with what Dee stated that it is "not like your giving up something good for you".
I had to stop after watching my Aunt die from Lung Cancer it was just horrifying!
I know that there are online help places that offer support, advice and guidance
in doing so!
Wishing you the best sweets
Trish
I cannot say that I know how you are feeling because I have not had any addictions other than cigarettes in my life....but I do agree with what Dee stated that it is "not like your giving up something good for you".
I had to stop after watching my Aunt die from Lung Cancer it was just horrifying!
I know that there are online help places that offer support, advice and guidance
in doing so!
Wishing you the best sweets
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
After this pack..I am going to give another try.
I am just going to think about the money I will save. How much better I will feel. I have been coughing really bad lately. I will think how nice it will be to breathe properly again.
How much I wont stink of smoke. Especially when its cold out. It seems the stench just sticks to you and stinks up everything around you.
The example I can set for the little ones. And even the older ones that need to quit too.
How much it means for me to have this surgery.
How everything will smell and taste better. So many good things.
It is going to be really hard. But if I can put the rocks down. This should be no problem. I guess.
Thx guys.
If I dont post for awhile. Its because I am very grumpy and dont want to be a jerk. LOL..Seriously.
I am just going to think about the money I will save. How much better I will feel. I have been coughing really bad lately. I will think how nice it will be to breathe properly again.
How much I wont stink of smoke. Especially when its cold out. It seems the stench just sticks to you and stinks up everything around you.
The example I can set for the little ones. And even the older ones that need to quit too.
How much it means for me to have this surgery.
How everything will smell and taste better. So many good things.
It is going to be really hard. But if I can put the rocks down. This should be no problem. I guess.
Thx guys.
If I dont post for awhile. Its because I am very grumpy and dont want to be a jerk. LOL..Seriously.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish)))
check out the smoking forum. There's a link on there that you can click on...it will give you a running total of how much money you've saved and how much life you're adding by not smoking. I had it on my computer when I quit and was amazed at how fast the money adds up.
I had to laugh about grams hiding under the bed Heck, when I quit for those 10 days, even the CATS didn't want to be around me, so don't be surprised if Bobbles gets a little distant.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
check out the smoking forum. There's a link on there that you can click on...it will give you a running total of how much money you've saved and how much life you're adding by not smoking. I had it on my computer when I quit and was amazed at how fast the money adds up.
I had to laugh about grams hiding under the bed
Heck, when I quit for those 10 days, even the CATS didn't want to be around me, so don't be surprised if Bobbles gets a little distant.Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
How long does it take usually to get over being cranky?
I know everyone is different. I always cave at 3 days. I just cant cope. Especially when the kids are here.
I will have to put my attitude adjustment skills on over drive now.
I have been doing good with my tolerance and patience for the past month.
I have to keep on it like every minute it seems. But I am catching myself. And trying to chnage the reaction of getting aggravated. It works most of the time.
Its funny..With all this stuff going on. And trying to work on my perception and attitude. I dont think about drugs as much. I guess I have diverted my attention elsewhere.
I know everyone is different. I always cave at 3 days. I just cant cope. Especially when the kids are here.
I will have to put my attitude adjustment skills on over drive now.
I have been doing good with my tolerance and patience for the past month.
I have to keep on it like every minute it seems. But I am catching myself. And trying to chnage the reaction of getting aggravated. It works most of the time.
Its funny..With all this stuff going on. And trying to work on my perception and attitude. I dont think about drugs as much. I guess I have diverted my attention elsewhere.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I don't know..I was cranky after a week, but then I was watching all my coworkers go out and smoke all night. I think if I hadn't been around it, I'd have been a lot better. My stepmom and 15-year-old niece smoke at the house, but that never bothered me. I stay in my room, so it wasn't really in my face.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
getting there
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
Chiy,
I totally know how you feel. I quit smoking (a pack or more a day habit) 9 years ago after numerous failed attempts. The way I did it was to chain smoke for about 6 hours until I was so disgusted I couldn't even imagine putting another cigarette to my lips. I threw the rest of them into a creek near my house. Then I went home, washed all my clothes and sprayed Febreze on everything - coat, clothes, bedding, etc. I thought about how much I hated smelling like smoke, not breathing right, coughing all the time. I thought about those things daily for about a month. Made plans to start working out so that I could see physical improvement. I was a total bitch. I gained weight. I didn't care, I just wanted to quit the cigarettes, and knew I could deal with the rest later. It finally worked.
I know it's different for everybody - my mom has COPD and she still can't quit. It's hard, but it's worth it! Good luck to you, I know you can do it!
I totally know how you feel. I quit smoking (a pack or more a day habit) 9 years ago after numerous failed attempts. The way I did it was to chain smoke for about 6 hours until I was so disgusted I couldn't even imagine putting another cigarette to my lips. I threw the rest of them into a creek near my house. Then I went home, washed all my clothes and sprayed Febreze on everything - coat, clothes, bedding, etc. I thought about how much I hated smelling like smoke, not breathing right, coughing all the time. I thought about those things daily for about a month. Made plans to start working out so that I could see physical improvement. I was a total bitch. I gained weight. I didn't care, I just wanted to quit the cigarettes, and knew I could deal with the rest later. It finally worked.
I know it's different for everybody - my mom has COPD and she still can't quit. It's hard, but it's worth it! Good luck to you, I know you can do it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I got a perscription for chantrex a week ago Tuesday (I've heard all the warnings so don't worry). But I haven't started taking it yet.
Truth is I am afraid to take it cause I am afraid of failing again. I've spent thousands of dollars trying to quit smoking and haven't suceeded yet. You only save money if it works
So I've been in a funk with it, but will soon take the meds and start to try to quit one more time.
No advice ... just someone facing the same challange.
Truth is I am afraid to take it cause I am afraid of failing again. I've spent thousands of dollars trying to quit smoking and haven't suceeded yet. You only save money if it works
So I've been in a funk with it, but will soon take the meds and start to try to quit one more time.
No advice ... just someone facing the same challange.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Okay Trish - here's the secret . . . shh, don't tell anyone because the industry we support by buying the quitting tactics would go bankrupt . . . get pregnant. LOL! I'm just kidding and you know it, but that is the only way I was ever able to quit. As soon as I read the strip that said I was pregnant I threw away a brand new carton of Marlboro lights I had JUST purchased. I also stopped drinking cold turkey too. Okay and now imagine my poor husband after his wife quit drinking and quit smoking and was VERY hormonal. Nah he's still with me miracle of miracles, but it wasn't easy. I never in a million years thought I could give it up, but I also never thought I could willingly give up alcohol either and so far as good there. Smoking is so damn addictive and that's what I tell my son. I started smoking when I was waitress because you either ate or smoked on break and I decided smoking was better for me - Ha! Continued that for 20 some years. You can do it Trish! You have the right attitude about it too. You want the procedure enough its like being pregnant. If you want it bad enough you will go to any lengths for it. Good luck and why not start a thread with day 1, day 2, etc. I am sure many would join you.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Thx..HL..When I was pregnant back in 96 I also quit everything without even thinkin about it.
My cousins wife quit both times she was preg and started again after. I dont get that. I was like why would you start again?
But then I guess its no differetn then one of us slipping after so long.
Starting a thread countin days is a good idea. But I found I cant count days in my recovery. It gets stressful for me. And I notice when a milestone comes up. It makes it like I made it so far so maybe one time wont hurt. But thtas just me.
So I am leaving numbers out of it. LOL.
Doing ok so far today. But I was working all morning. Idle time is going to be the tough part.
My cousins wife quit both times she was preg and started again after. I dont get that. I was like why would you start again?
But then I guess its no differetn then one of us slipping after so long.
Starting a thread countin days is a good idea. But I found I cant count days in my recovery. It gets stressful for me. And I notice when a milestone comes up. It makes it like I made it so far so maybe one time wont hurt. But thtas just me.
So I am leaving numbers out of it. LOL.
Doing ok so far today. But I was working all morning. Idle time is going to be the tough part.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
You are totally right Trish and everyone's recovery is different. I agree with you on the counting days. Bad idea on my part. As far as starting back up after the pregnancy, I did with the drinking, but not the smoking. I could hide the drinking much easier and I REALLY don't want to see my son start either of those two addictions up. You do what you need to because I know you are smart. I was just giving my 2 cents and you can take it for what its worth - 2 cents. LOL! Love ya Trish!
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