What that first Alanon meeting was like
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: My side of the street
Posts: 15
What that first Alanon meeting was like
I drove over and sat in the parking lot for the longest time. Wasn't sure I could actually go in. Even though I felt like I was in some sort of fog I followed the next person in the door.
There was 9 others there. 5 men and 4 women. They were all so nice to me that of course I began to cry right away! They didn't judge at all, just handed me a box of kleenex.
The focus of the meeting was on gratitude. And man am I ever grateful that I was there to hear it. When it was my turn to speak they said I could pass if I wanted. But I managed to squeak out "I'm grateful to be here tonight. I took me 23 years but I finally made it". I came home after the meeting and did what they suggested. I made a gratitude list. I was so surprised when I was able to put 12 things on the list right away! I didn't even have to think very hard! When I went to bed last night I decided that instead of laying there and thinking about my problems instead I would list all the things I'm grateful for starting with the letter A and going through the alphabet. I was asleep before I reached the letter K. Wow, that felt good!
I will be going to another meeting on Sunday night. I want to try a few to see which feels best for me. And the best part is this.......the next meeting won't be my "first". I never have to walk through those doors for the first time again!
Kaye
There was 9 others there. 5 men and 4 women. They were all so nice to me that of course I began to cry right away! They didn't judge at all, just handed me a box of kleenex.
The focus of the meeting was on gratitude. And man am I ever grateful that I was there to hear it. When it was my turn to speak they said I could pass if I wanted. But I managed to squeak out "I'm grateful to be here tonight. I took me 23 years but I finally made it". I came home after the meeting and did what they suggested. I made a gratitude list. I was so surprised when I was able to put 12 things on the list right away! I didn't even have to think very hard! When I went to bed last night I decided that instead of laying there and thinking about my problems instead I would list all the things I'm grateful for starting with the letter A and going through the alphabet. I was asleep before I reached the letter K. Wow, that felt good!
I will be going to another meeting on Sunday night. I want to try a few to see which feels best for me. And the best part is this.......the next meeting won't be my "first". I never have to walk through those doors for the first time again!
Kaye
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hi kaye-
Wow thanks for this picture of courage!
I cried for the duration of probably my first 7 AlAnon meetings- man it was just such a relief and also a release of the sadness & stress I had been hauling around for so long.
I like the A-Z gratitude bedtime list idea-- I have trouble falling asleep and this is a good suggestion...if I make it to Z I will still have done something positive even if I'm wide awake.
Peace-
B.
Wow thanks for this picture of courage!
I cried for the duration of probably my first 7 AlAnon meetings- man it was just such a relief and also a release of the sadness & stress I had been hauling around for so long.
I like the A-Z gratitude bedtime list idea-- I have trouble falling asleep and this is a good suggestion...if I make it to Z I will still have done something positive even if I'm wide awake.
Peace-
B.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Wonderful post, just....goose bumps
My first alanon meeting I ever went to, I took my girlfriend for her (step away, no pattern to see here, keep moving keep moving) and it was wonderful...I "accidentally" felt right at home, and even shared when it was my turn.
I went home and was reading Melody Beatties Book I think, and it said "If you are reading this book for yourself, you may be an codependent, if you are reading this book "for" somebody else, you are definitely a codependent.... I threw up in my mouth a little bit I think.
Luckily I have had experience with meetings from AA, and tons of my friends are "double winners" so picking one or the other meeting is no biggy, depending on who I am out with and what night it is.
My first alanon meeting I ever went to, I took my girlfriend for her (step away, no pattern to see here, keep moving keep moving) and it was wonderful...I "accidentally" felt right at home, and even shared when it was my turn.
I went home and was reading Melody Beatties Book I think, and it said "If you are reading this book for yourself, you may be an codependent, if you are reading this book "for" somebody else, you are definitely a codependent.... I threw up in my mouth a little bit I think.
Luckily I have had experience with meetings from AA, and tons of my friends are "double winners" so picking one or the other meeting is no biggy, depending on who I am out with and what night it is.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
It really does work if you work it.
It took me awhile to understand how a non-addict could, would or should work the
12 steps. But I kept going back and eventually I did work the steps and continue to apply the principles to many areas of my life.
It changed me like nothing had before. I stopped taking every one else's inventories and started taking my own. I work on my character defects
and let control issues go. I couldn't fix my addict (my son ) but I have made lots of improvements for myself .
My son now tells others that I have a black belt in alanon. I changed 1st and kept the faith.
Now he has been in recovery for 9 mos.
Happy trails to you in recovery. You are ready for your glass to be half full instead of half empty. A joyful life is yours for the creating.
Al-anon provides a "blueprint for success".
It took me awhile to understand how a non-addict could, would or should work the
12 steps. But I kept going back and eventually I did work the steps and continue to apply the principles to many areas of my life.
It changed me like nothing had before. I stopped taking every one else's inventories and started taking my own. I work on my character defects
and let control issues go. I couldn't fix my addict (my son ) but I have made lots of improvements for myself .
My son now tells others that I have a black belt in alanon. I changed 1st and kept the faith.
Now he has been in recovery for 9 mos.
Happy trails to you in recovery. You are ready for your glass to be half full instead of half empty. A joyful life is yours for the creating.
Al-anon provides a "blueprint for success".
Last edited by Spiritual Seeker; 11-21-2008 at 06:20 PM. Reason: typo
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: My side of the street
Posts: 15
Astro: Thank you. It was a positive experience. I was positively scared stiff! HA! I made a funny! And here I never thought I'd laugh again!
Bernadette: At first I was embarrased about crying but after I realized that nobody acted like that wasn't perfectly normal I really let the tears come. It felt so good afterwards. I'm going to keep going to meetings and probably keep crying for awhile longer.,too.
Ago: I really need to read that book. Before now I didn't see myself as codependent. I could see that in others but not in myself.
Denny57: Thanks for the support. If it wasn't for reading the stories on these boards I don't think I would have gone. I've seen so much courage from all of you that I just started to feel like maybe I could do it.
Spiritual: I just a newbie but to me Step 1 is so powerful. Admitting I have no control goes against everything I am. I'm not only the wife of an A for 23 years but I'm also the daughter of one. I've controlled my enviroment my whole life! I'll be working on this step for awhile. But that's okay. I'm not in a great hurry to recover. I want to take my time and do it right.
I loved your post...Thank you and best of luck to your son. Congrats to him for getting help.
HA! I made a funny! And here I never thought I'd laugh again!Bernadette: At first I was embarrased about crying but after I realized that nobody acted like that wasn't perfectly normal I really let the tears come. It felt so good afterwards. I'm going to keep going to meetings and probably keep crying for awhile longer.,too.
Ago: I really need to read that book. Before now I didn't see myself as codependent. I could see that in others but not in myself.
Denny57: Thanks for the support. If it wasn't for reading the stories on these boards I don't think I would have gone. I've seen so much courage from all of you that I just started to feel like maybe I could do it.
Spiritual: I just a newbie but to me Step 1 is so powerful. Admitting I have no control goes against everything I am. I'm not only the wife of an A for 23 years but I'm also the daughter of one. I've controlled my enviroment my whole life! I'll be working on this step for awhile. But that's okay. I'm not in a great hurry to recover. I want to take my time and do it right.
I loved your post...Thank you and best of luck to your son. Congrats to him for getting help.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Aw, Kaye 
What a wonderful post.
You know what? You're going to be just fine.
I'm going to try your trick with the alphabetical gratitudes tonight....been having a bit of trouble sleeping, but that might just do the trick!
Keep us posted on how it goes for you!!
GL
What a wonderful post.
You know what? You're going to be just fine.
I'm going to try your trick with the alphabetical gratitudes tonight....been having a bit of trouble sleeping, but that might just do the trick!
Keep us posted on how it goes for you!!
GL
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
Awesome Post Kaye . Thanks for sharing it . I too like the list im gonna try that one , i suffer from the shut off switch broken , so im gonna give it a try .. thanks again
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
OH I cried for the first month of meetings. I walked in, sat down, cried for an hour and left. I guess it's what I needed to do. But I knew I felt safe there, and I knew the others in the room understood my life.
There are so many different kinds of meetings. I have enjoyed them all at different times in my life: step studies, topic meetings, open meetings, speaker meetings etc. Hopefully you will find a meeting/ group that works best for you!
Thanks for sharing about your experience. I know there are a lot of people out there who are just too scared to go. Maybe your post will let them know that it's not all that scary.
There are so many different kinds of meetings. I have enjoyed them all at different times in my life: step studies, topic meetings, open meetings, speaker meetings etc. Hopefully you will find a meeting/ group that works best for you!
Thanks for sharing about your experience. I know there are a lot of people out there who are just too scared to go. Maybe your post will let them know that it's not all that scary.
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