It's not my fault . . .
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
It's not my fault . . .
I know in my head that It's not my fault
what is going on in my life - It's not my fault.
The decisions I am making are consequences of his behaviors
He's hurt, I'm hurt.
It's sad, painful and heartbreaking.
But it's not my fault.
I KNOW this - I offer e,s, & h to many letting them know it's not our fault, it's ok to protect ourselves, to take care of us, . . .
will somebody please tell my heart
what is going on in my life - It's not my fault.
The decisions I am making are consequences of his behaviors
He's hurt, I'm hurt.
It's sad, painful and heartbreaking.
But it's not my fault.
I KNOW this - I offer e,s, & h to many letting them know it's not our fault, it's ok to protect ourselves, to take care of us, . . .
will somebody please tell my heart
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
It's progressive, no way around that. You MUST take care of you, Japic. It will do you no good to go down with your A. The A has his own bottom to reach and his own lessons to learn. Don't rob him of them. Do take care of you and remember all that you have learned. Saying prayers for you tonight 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
awwww, sweetie, it's NOT your fault.
I know how hard it is to take our own advice. I've been going through that with my dad, lately.
I've been trying to tell myself that if I want what is best for my friends, why can I not want it for myself? We KNOW it's best to let people deal with their consequences, whether it's related to addiction or not. It's just not easy to stand by.
I'm sorry you're hurting, but give some of that wonderful compassion you show US to yourself, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I know how hard it is to take our own advice. I've been going through that with my dad, lately.
I've been trying to tell myself that if I want what is best for my friends, why can I not want it for myself? We KNOW it's best to let people deal with their consequences, whether it's related to addiction or not. It's just not easy to stand by.
I'm sorry you're hurting, but give some of that wonderful compassion you show US to yourself, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
Its not your fault
sometimes it takes alittle while for our hearts to catch up with our heads..............but in time the heart accepts .....................keep reminding yourself and know we're here for you!! BIG HUGS
sometimes it takes alittle while for our hearts to catch up with our heads..............but in time the heart accepts .....................keep reminding yourself and know we're here for you!! BIG HUGS
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 328
It's not your fault - but for me - sometimes it just felt like it was - but I try to remember that feelings aren't facts!
I hate this disease - and what it does to the addict and those that love them.
Holidays are coming up - and always seem to be an emotional time for me - whether or not "they" are using.
I try to go to more meetings, read more literature and stay close to my recovery friends. And January 1 WILL come.
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
I hate this disease - and what it does to the addict and those that love them.
Holidays are coming up - and always seem to be an emotional time for me - whether or not "they" are using.
I try to go to more meetings, read more literature and stay close to my recovery friends. And January 1 WILL come.
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Midlands
Posts: 201
I feel for you.
I'm seriously struggling today to remind myself it's not my fault that the relationship didn't work out.
Yet for some horrible reason i feel tremendously guilty.
I feel like i have to call him and apologise!!! Apologise for what? It's stupid. But it's the guilt and the blame he's put on me over the past 7 months that makes me feel this way.
Chin up honey, it will get easier. That's what i keep telling myself.
~Limiya~
I'm seriously struggling today to remind myself it's not my fault that the relationship didn't work out.
Yet for some horrible reason i feel tremendously guilty.
I feel like i have to call him and apologise!!! Apologise for what? It's stupid. But it's the guilt and the blame he's put on me over the past 7 months that makes me feel this way.
Chin up honey, it will get easier. That's what i keep telling myself.
~Limiya~
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Midlands
Posts: 201
The only way i can describe this feeling is...
Imagine being locked in a cage for many years, and then one day the doors to that cage are opened, and you're free. But you still sit there, afraid. Where will you go? What will you do?
You chose to stay in the cage because it's what you've grown farmiliar to. It's what you're used to.
Freedom is a scary thing.
I see this as one of the best things i can tell myself... i am free now. I need to get used to enjoying it.
~Limiya~
Imagine being locked in a cage for many years, and then one day the doors to that cage are opened, and you're free. But you still sit there, afraid. Where will you go? What will you do?
You chose to stay in the cage because it's what you've grown farmiliar to. It's what you're used to.
Freedom is a scary thing.
I see this as one of the best things i can tell myself... i am free now. I need to get used to enjoying it.
~Limiya~
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Southeast
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by Impurrfect 
awwww, sweetie, it's NOT your fault.
I know how hard it is to take our own advice. I've been going through that with my dad, lately.
I've been trying to tell myself that if I want what is best for my friends, why can I not want it for myself? We KNOW it's best to let people deal with their consequences, whether it's related to addiction or not. It's just not easy to stand by.
I'm sorry you're hurting, but give some of that wonderful compassion you show US to yourself, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I know how hard it is to take our own advice. I've been going through that with my dad, lately.
I've been trying to tell myself that if I want what is best for my friends, why can I not want it for myself? We KNOW it's best to let people deal with their consequences, whether it's related to addiction or not. It's just not easy to stand by.
I'm sorry you're hurting, but give some of that wonderful compassion you show US to yourself, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Japic - hang in there hon. Praying for you
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You didn't cause it. If you did, then you would have been able to stop it too. We just don't have that power and all the love in the world won't give it to us.
I'm sorry you're hurting, and send hugs and lots of prayers that tomorrow things don't seem as dark for you.
Hugs
I'm sorry you're hurting, and send hugs and lots of prayers that tomorrow things don't seem as dark for you.
Hugs
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