drained22

well she called me a few minutes ago, she wanted to know if I was going to be "social" and hang out with her and her friends.

she sounded drunk and not all there as she usually would be during the day. just hearing her intoxicated just really hurts me.

I havent seen her for a week and really do want to see her but I don't think I'm ready to.

I know she wants to drink if we hang out, what would you do? just sit there and make her pay for her alcohol?

MissFixit

"Just hearing her intoxicated really hurts me."

"I don't think I am ready to."

Not to be smart with you, but it sounds like you answered your own question.

ToughChoices

Do you want to go and sit with her while she drinks?
You say that just hearing her drunken voice on the phone hurts your feelings.

I do not accompany alcoholics to bars.
I do not buy them alcohol.
I do not watch them drink.

It is not fun for me to hang out with someone while I watch him/her actively harm him/herself.

-TC

Barbara52

Yup, that's me too. I cannot sit by and watch someone self destruct. Mostly for me (but I won't give tacit acceptance to the alcohlic either). I am too likely to let those old codie tendency out and try to "help" them. I have drawn a line in the sand for what I can and cannot do, where I can and cannot be, because it causes me emotional harm. I do not cross that line.

GiveLove

It hurts you so to know that she's destroying herself with alcohol. How much worse will it feel to have to sit there and watch her?

I'm not sure why you'd subject yourself to that -- let alone considering helping her do it by paying??

You say you're not ready.....I wouldn't be either. I don't want that kind of pain in my life. I don't care how pretty someone is.