another ranting thread
Rediscovering myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
another ranting thread
Every so often, at the request of my lawyer, I break into my AH's emails and read them. I've known he was flirting with this girl online for awhile, but what I found the other day is just disgusting. #1, this girl is in college and my husband is late 30s. #2, the emails were SO inappropriate for a married man "I really need a hug", "I wish I was there to hold you" (they live in different states). #3, we've been separated for three weeks now and he's stopped calling to check in on our daughter.
WTF does he think he's doing!!! I'm so pissed. I want to yell and scream and beat him, but I cant' because the lawyer doesn't want him to know that I'm checking up on him... yet. I want this over, I want to move on. I want to quit checking up on him because it upsets me EVERY TIME. I'm tired of the disappointment. I want to quit being hurt. This has GOT to be over soon.
And another thing... I am a totally awesome catch! I have a good job, a beautiful daughter. I'm smart, fun, independent, attractive, tall, have a great family. I've done everything I can to get him to just BEHAVE... just do his fair share. I've begged, pleaded, threatened, I've offered unlimited 'bedroom stuff', cooked his favorite meals, changed my dress, my hair, moved, cleaned, changed jobs, ignored friends... and THIS is what I get in return? An unemployed drunk having an online emotional affair with a woman young enough to be his DAUGHTER. I deserve SO much better. I DEMAND BETTER and step #1 is getting rid of HIM, the dumbarse basturd. What a FOOL!!
*sigh*
Ok, I feel better now.
WTF does he think he's doing!!! I'm so pissed. I want to yell and scream and beat him, but I cant' because the lawyer doesn't want him to know that I'm checking up on him... yet. I want this over, I want to move on. I want to quit checking up on him because it upsets me EVERY TIME. I'm tired of the disappointment. I want to quit being hurt. This has GOT to be over soon.
And another thing... I am a totally awesome catch! I have a good job, a beautiful daughter. I'm smart, fun, independent, attractive, tall, have a great family. I've done everything I can to get him to just BEHAVE... just do his fair share. I've begged, pleaded, threatened, I've offered unlimited 'bedroom stuff', cooked his favorite meals, changed my dress, my hair, moved, cleaned, changed jobs, ignored friends... and THIS is what I get in return? An unemployed drunk having an online emotional affair with a woman young enough to be his DAUGHTER. I deserve SO much better. I DEMAND BETTER and step #1 is getting rid of HIM, the dumbarse basturd. What a FOOL!!
*sigh*
Ok, I feel better now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
sounds unhealthy
I mean the part about reading his emails
Why can't the lawyer read the emails, all that would do to me is keep me sick.
I appreciate a good rant, and have had some doozies here myself, but the moment i made the decision to move on what she did was absolutely none of my business.
I mean Duh! of course she behaved inappropriately, that's why I left her!
LOL
anyhow,
Thank you for your /rant I heartily approve of a good rant now n again.
I mean the part about reading his emails
Why can't the lawyer read the emails, all that would do to me is keep me sick.
I appreciate a good rant, and have had some doozies here myself, but the moment i made the decision to move on what she did was absolutely none of my business.
I mean Duh! of course she behaved inappropriately, that's why I left her!
LOL
anyhow,
Thank you for your /rant I heartily approve of a good rant now n again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I'm glad you feel better after ranting.
For me, reading the emails for a while was freeing - since xAH always told me I was nuts. I could see how sick he was and moving on became easier. It also showed me that the girl also young enough to be his daughter was already hearing the same crap I heard for the last 5 years.
Everyone is different. I'm not sure your attorney would be legally authorized to tap into your husband's email account. Have you checked with him lately as to when you can stop?
((( )))
For me, reading the emails for a while was freeing - since xAH always told me I was nuts. I could see how sick he was and moving on became easier. It also showed me that the girl also young enough to be his daughter was already hearing the same crap I heard for the last 5 years.
Everyone is different. I'm not sure your attorney would be legally authorized to tap into your husband's email account. Have you checked with him lately as to when you can stop?
((( )))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
denny, We're they send to you? Or did you get them by snooping into his email account without his knowledge? I would think there would be a difference in whether they could be used or not. But what do I know. I ain't no attorney. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
It's not considered snooping (in my state) if they are accessed on a jointly used computer, which they were.
So either he "forgot" he was using an email account that was accessible in our office (he had the computer remember his password), or he wanted me to read them. Either way, it's sick. But it got me my restraining order.
Laws changed here after the OJ Simpson case. I remember during our depositions xAH actually brought him up. Said "they wouldn't let them see OJ's journals, either." There was nothing to say to that, though I thought maybe things would have been different for Nicole if they had. Our judge did allow the journal entries, too.
So either he "forgot" he was using an email account that was accessible in our office (he had the computer remember his password), or he wanted me to read them. Either way, it's sick. But it got me my restraining order.
Laws changed here after the OJ Simpson case. I remember during our depositions xAH actually brought him up. Said "they wouldn't let them see OJ's journals, either." There was nothing to say to that, though I thought maybe things would have been different for Nicole if they had. Our judge did allow the journal entries, too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Originally Posted by denny57 
It's not considered snooping (in my state) if they are accessed on a jointly used computer, which they were.
So either he "forgot" he was using an email account that was accessible in our office (he had the computer remember his password), or he wanted me to read them. Either way, it's sick. But it got me my restraining order.
So either he "forgot" he was using an email account that was accessible in our office (he had the computer remember his password), or he wanted me to read them. Either way, it's sick. But it got me my restraining order.
Rediscovering myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
I only have a few more days to endure. If the lawyer asks for any more, I'm just going to have to tell him no.
In my state, I legally have permission to check my husband's email. While it is password protected, he gave me the password YEARS ago. I'm sure he has no idea I still remember the password.
In my state, I legally have permission to check my husband's email. While it is password protected, he gave me the password YEARS ago. I'm sure he has no idea I still remember the password.
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