HopeTo180

The other day I was out running errands. I was caught across town at rush hour. I decided to eat dinner and head home in a couple of hours. As I sat down to eat a 2 hour meal at Chili's, I noticed a few patrons with the same idea. They were ordering drinks. I thought I could have a couple. The scolding began... "why on earth would I want to do that?" "If I'm not going to get drunk, why even get started?"..."I don't want to get drunk!" "It would be nice to have an attitude adjustment"..."Maybe I can do a test and see if I can have just two and continue my routine tomorrow"... "Is there any truth to the disease?"..."What happens later when I'm offered a drink and accept so I'm apart of the group". Man! What the %@&!

I ordered sweet tea...it just wasn't worth the risk. I remembered how long it took me to quit. I remembered the disappointment I felt for seemingly trying to kill myself. I remembered the loss of self control. I'm on track now, I'm healing. I'm healthy. I have a renewed self worth. I cannot go back to the way it was, no matter how I feel or what I tell myself. It's a trap. It's a slow and certain death. I may as well jump off a bridge.

I am so glad I went through that ordeal. I learned how much I really care about myself. Each time I get that close to throwing in the towel, I get stronger in my determination to live. I am the first person I see when I wake up. I am the last person I see when I go to bed. It is critical for me to be in my own corner.

Emily2002

(((HopeTo)))

Thank you so much for the share.

LOVE "I am the first person I see when I wake up. I am the last person I see when I go to bed. It is critical for me to be in my own corner."

Pelican

Impressive! I am glad you stayed the course and made one more day!

Pixy1

Thank you for sharing. It gives me hope and strength.

tommyk

I think it is wonderful that when you thought about having 'a drink' you played the tape to the end and recognized what 'a drink' leads to.

We need to never forget 'the rest of the story'.