CatWings

It DOES get easier though it's not a walk in the park by any means.

I was going through hell up until yesterday. Still dealing with the cravings, but I am reaping the benefits finally of having a more stable mood and a clear head.

They say the worst of the withdrawal process should be between 2 and 10 days.

I fully believe this addiction goes beyond just the psychological. I had all kinds of physical withdrawal symptoms this time around. I was seriously worried about myself for a bit there - felt like I was going to have a seizure, pass out, and I even stumbled a bit I was so dizzy - stomach pains, headaches from hell, etc.

If it were not really addictive, then how come so many pot-smokers I know can't quit or don't want to quit? Or they try to quit or "take a break" but not for very long.

I really believe by now that just the process of turning on the reward center of your brain with an outside substance is enough of an addiction problem that will change your brain chemistry in some way.

Anyway, I think I am reminding myself that I need to keep my guard up with this "natural herbal high." I can't smoke pot. That is all there is to it. It does more to me than it does for me. It rewires my whole brain chemistry and I would not want to risk doing that to myself again - not even for old time's sake.

This ten day period of being clean has shown me that there is a better way to live than to be stoned every day. Now I have to deal with the psychological stuff, but I think I will be fine.

grrrr

I am glad to hear you are feeling better! I too, had physical withdrawal symptoms when I quit smoking. I am pretty sure others here could relate to that as well. Regardless of what kind of high we may be getting (herbal, natural, alcoholic), having it all the time has got to be bad for the brain.

doorknob

I've been a wake and bake smoker for close to 20 years. Day 16 for me. Anything physical is gone, but I still think about getting high, especially listening to music. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna flip my lid being straight...

CarolD

Good for you and thanks for sharing your progress.

CatWings

DoorKnob, that is great! 16 days is HUGE.

I know what you mean though. That habit is pretty ingrained. I believe that being a pot smoker has become part of my identity in a conspiracy to create an alternative reality system - some kind of personal insulation from the rest of it all and being part of a culture that values that.

It's such an illusion though. Reality is feeling a little challenging - just being and feeling exposed to it as it is is a new feeling for me. There is a definite demarcation already between my life on weed and a taste of it off weed so far.

However, I am enjoying music and my art a little bit more lately. Colors look brighter. I think all the things I started smoking pot for are the things that got dampened somehow and are slowly being returned to me.

It's only day ten but I feel like it was a few months ago since I last smoked.

As they say, old habits die hard and that is what I am dealing with too. But I am sure that will get easier. As one of those LifeRing stories said, sobriety gains its own momentum and the longer you just stick with it, the easier it gets to stay sober. Unless you hit the f***it switch and start saying, "ah, f***it, just this once won't hurt," or "f***it, being sober isn't doing me that much good anyway," etc. (that's another LifeRing story I read today - the most helpful one of them all!)

Mattcake

Congrats This is great news.

I really don't get that whole "pot isn't addictive" babble. I don't know if it stems from denial or some sort of drug pushing agenda, but I find it *very* hard to believe.

So congratulations for sticking to your decision Also, it's great to hear that you're willing to address the psychological aspects of your dependance once the physical discomfort is over.

CatWings

Thanks! Another motivation to stay off of it, I figured out, is to give someone else some hope. Because the weed trap is so hard for some people.

As far as the "pot isn't addictive" stuff, you got me thinking. It could be a reaction maybe to the "drug war" as a last holdout sort of a thing. Maybe because it is a plant people think that it should be deemed harmless for the most part.

But I think it's also a cultural thing left over from the '60s, though back then pot was not nearly as strong as it is now.

I wonder if the strength of it having gone up so much hasn't caused more of an addiction problem over the years for some. Just a thought...

I read these couple of tidbits:

"All forms of cannabis are mind-altering (psychoactive) drugs; they all contain THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), the main active chemical in marijuana. They also contain more than 400 other chemicals."

400 chemicals! That's a lot of stuff for a brain to assimilate and then get re-calibrated without them, I would think. I was told it could take months to a year to get things sorted out after that much long-term use.

doorknob

Thanks, Cat. I made it 24 days a couple months ago. 60 days is the most I've ever been able to manage, but it's been several years since I've stayed clean over 30.

I can totally relate to that.

I've found the LifeRing stuff the most helpful of all the sobriety resources out there, and the secular recovery stories have helped me keep hope alive.

Doll

That's awesome, good for you, keep on going!

I totally agree that pot can be addictive. I know a guy who smokes all day every day, and who is gets very uncomfortable during the day when he starts to withdraw. I'm talking antsy, palms sweating, etc. He experiences horrible stomach pain when he stops and can't even eat without smoking first.

Maybe its like alcohol, where some people can handle it in moderation, and some people get addicted to it?

CatWings

Good for you on your two weeks! Congratulations!

I totally agree that some people can handle smoking weed once in a while. I don't know what makes one thing addictive for some and not for others.

I knew a guy like that as well. One of those "there but for the grace of God go I" kind of stories.

I am just glad I have given up the idea that I can "cut down" or "just smoke on the weekends" or "just when someone offers me some" and "as long as I don't buy any"....

I have finally learned from my experience. I think I've spent nearly 14 years trying to get that one figured out. Oh, the psychology of addiction!