kuljey

I have been dating a drug addict for over 1 yr now. Our relationship has been a awful roller coaster. I have been in counseling now and finding out i am codependent. I of course love the addict (he used meth for years and went to rehab in another state for 2 months. when he got out he was smoking marijuana and drinking only. eventually he says the stress of things pushed him to use other drugs, drink hard liquor and use meth several times again) who is going away for 6 months to a residential treatment center. He had add and bipolar (apparently from the drugs.) He is in jail right now till he leaves for treatment (identity theft.) I have never dated an addict and dont know what to expect. He can be soooo mean, then at times he is nice. I do believe he loves me, but i do see he is a sick person. Not knowing what to expect after a 6 mo long treatment is scary. We will have very limited communication, mostly via mail. Im sad at what may be the only thing i can do (i have 2 young children and his verbal abuse in front of them is something i wish to not tolerte any longer) is leave.

Any thoughts or advice is appreciated.

Yvonne

genrs123

Have you tried to Al Anon or Nar-anon?

I think you will find comfort here on the board. keep posting.

thanks for sharing.

Impurrfect

(((Kuljey)))

Welcome to SR!

I'm glad you've found us, but sorry for your circumstances. I hope you read other posts here, and see what life is like when you're living with an addict. It's tough.

Recovery is possible, and there are many of us recovering addicts around (I have 20 months). However, he has to want it, really bad, and be prepared to do the work of recovery. For us, putting down the drugs is usually the easy part...it's not picking them back up when life stresses us out.

I'm glad you are in counseling and are able to see that his behavior is nothing you should subject yourself or your kids, too. Al-anon or nar-anon has helped a LOT of people.

You're not alone, and you've found a place filled with wondeful, compassionate people who know what you're going through. Keep reading and posting.

I'm glad you're here!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

jerect

Take those 6 months that you will be away from your addict and work on you..

At this point I would give almost anything for my AH to go into treatment for 6 months more for my sanity then his recovery. I know it sounds alwful but right now it's all about me and not my AH.



Your right, a relationship with an addict is a roller coaster, one that never seems to stop. THere is no excuse for verbal abuse, high or not.. especially when there are kids involved.

If you feel really uneasy about this relationship then take the time that you are seperated from him and give things some serious thought. Sometimes distance makes us see things from a different perspective.

Don't let the thought that he loves you stand in the way of doing whats best for you and your kids. An addict is not capable of love.. they may use the word love but it's only to manipulate you into doing things for them and further enabling their addiction. An addict cannot love you because they have no love or respect for themselves..

Focus on you and your childrens well being.. thats whats most important right now.

sailorjohn

WELCOME!!!

Keep reading, you'll find a lot of support here.

kuljey

thanks for the awesome advice. taking time for me in the 6 months is what sounds the most reasonable.:praying