lovingfiance

My fiance was doing heroin for about 6 months. I did not know unil September. Well he is in jail now and has been in there since September 24, he will be getting out before Christmas this year. My question is...is that enough time that he wont want to do it or crave it when he gets out? BY the time he is home that would make him about 3 months clean.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!

Unfortunately, addiction is a lifelong disease. We are never "cured" from it, though we can work a program of recovery and learn how to live life without drugs. Most addicts, myself included, have to hit bottom before we seek recovery, and we each have our own bottoms. I hit mine, when I got locked up, but my ex has been in/out of jail and prison for 25 years and continues to smoke crack the minute he gets out.

If he really wants recovery, he will find it. Stopping the drugs is the easy part....it's living life without returning to them that's so hard, but it is possible.

I hope you read some of the other posts here to get an idea of what life is like with an addict. It's not easy, and the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. One important thing to remember is the 3 c's...you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't change him.

I don't mean to sound doom and gloom, because I actually have 20 months clean and there are a lot of success stories here. I just want you to be aware of what all is involved. I truly hope he finds recovery.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

lovingfiance

Thank you. I hope he has hit his bottom. He did tell me He said he was really mad at himself because he did not realize how well our 3 year old daughter can talk until he was on the phone with her after he was put in jail. So I am hoping the he really means. I just am scared that he is going to start talking to his child hood friend who is still doing it. I want to be there for him and help him if he relapse but we are having another baby and I just dont know if I can take that on.

Chino

That fear you have is a really good place to start working on your own boundaries. If he were to relapse, ask yourself how you will feel and then what you will do to protect yourself and children.