LucyA

I’ve just caught myself doing something and I’m not sure why I’m doing it.

My brother supposedly hasn’t had a drink since he left hospital, his friend is letting everyone know how well he’s doing. He caught up with me (the friend) on my way back from the bus stop the other day, he was under the impression I wasn’t speaking to my brother and we weren’t friends. I told him we do speak, but I choose not to get involved in lots of things surrounding my brother, he knew that anyway. So he started to tell me how well bro is doing, how he can now go in the pub and drink Becks Vier and that’s great because it’s non alcoholic.

Now, what my brother drinks and how much he drinks is nothing to do with me and not something I want to get involved in again (been there, done some counting in the past) but I know for sure that Becks Vier is alcoholic, and I said so, and I said so to my mum when she told me the same ‘good news’ story. I get told now that I’m being negative and don’t support my brother!

What do they want me to do? Pretend the beer is non alcoholic when I know it’s not? Pat him on the back for drinking something someone else has told him is ‘safe’? Or convince myself that I’ve got it wrong and the drink isn’t alcoholic? I don’t feel a need for answers to any of those questions except the last one. If I’ve got my facts wrong I’ll hold my hands up and say so, but I’m 99% sure there isn’t a non alcoholic version of Becks Vier, not in England anyway.

The thing I caught myself doing was searching the name to find out, but not to prove it to myself, to prove it to them. I’m happy I’m right so I’m leaving it at that. If he’s happy to drink the stuff, alcoholic or not, it’s not my problem

Lilyflower

(((((Lucy))))) it is so easy to get pulled back into the drama and chaos! Good for you for noticing and for getting back out of it again!

Personally, drinking non alcoholic beer in a bar is IMO not a sign of recovery, I would think that an alcoholic would need to leave that social circle behind if they want to maintain true sobriety, especially in the early days.

At the end of the day though, if your bro is getting better, it will show very soon by his concerted efforts to reconcile with his son, and with you. Time will tell if this is true.

Love to you
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LucyA

Those are my thoughts too Lilyflower.
I think he's been told by someone else that it's not alcoholic and has taken it as the truth, otherwise I don't think he'd be saying he was drinking it. Wouldn't you think if he was bothered he'd check though, I mean you only need to read the bottle.
I agree with the social situation too, he says he gets bored staying in the house all day.
It's up to him what he does, I just couldn't stop myself from saying the beer wasn't non alcoholic. Anyway, I've said it now, what they think of me saying it isn't my problem right? I think I'm getting there!

Lilyflower

Yeah, for me, my recovery means I can say what I believe, state my opinion, but I no longer have to have everyone understand where I am coming from or even agree with me! I just say what I say and let them take it or leave it! No more wasting my energy trying to get others to see my view point.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx