it never rains but it pours

Old 11-13-2008, 07:13 PM
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it never rains but it pours

I've been waiting anxiously for a month to get my sister back into seeing the doctor/therapist she's had some success with in the past. She had a long history of irresponsible living and drug abuse that built up to 2 arrests within a month last December for faking prescriptions for percs and oxy. She made some progress in recovery for the first half of this year, but fell back into the old habits over the summer. All this time she's had a live-in bf (with previous alcohol problem) who's stood by her but whose patience is nearly at an end. And 2 weeks ago she found out she's pregnant. It all seemed ready to blow.

So Monday I go with her back to seeing the doctor. It'll be weekly visits from now on with me coming to all of them. They discuss both her treatments and what's in store if she keeps the baby (as she seems determined to do). I leave feeling hopeful that maybe her relapse can be turned around, the bf's fears eased, and maybe, just maybe, having a baby in all this won't be a total disaster.

Well. The next night at 3am I get a frantic call from her that the bf has come home drunk out his head and is trashing the place and screaming at her about all the the bad things she's done over the months. Cops take him away and now he's got to live in a different city with his mother who posted his bond. At the moment she's alone, except for me checking in and friends.

Then today we found our dad's chemo is no longer working and won't be continued. Not sure how much longer he's got, but whether he'll be around to see her baby born is in doubt.

All these things are connected. The BF's relapse in alcohol abuse by his frustrations with her, her fears over whether he'll stay and our dad's health making her own recover harder, the pregnancy thrown in which makes him feel trapped now, and her fears of being abandoned. One big knot to unravel!

While at times I've been sick with worry this week about where this is going and why it all hit at once, I'm hoping that maybe after the shocks are over, and time goes on some good could come of it. He's required to get alcoholism treatment now (and I know he will), she has continued to make her therapy appointments with me as the moral support, and knowing a baby is on the way and our dad's time could be short seems to be focusing her mind on staying clean for those reasons.
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Old 11-13-2008, 07:37 PM
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OhBrother

prayers that this all gets sorted out - particularly for the sake of the unborn baby...

Prayers
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Old 11-13-2008, 07:43 PM
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My prayers are with you.

It is amazing sometimes how struggles can bring us together and help us succeed.
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:21 PM
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Wow. What a plate full. My prayers are with your family at this time. Take care of yourself...Smiles, Bonnie
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Old 11-14-2008, 05:20 AM
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Boy that's alot to have to deal with. I am praying for her that she can find the strength and hope that you can keep supporting her. What a great family she has..

Eileen
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Old 11-14-2008, 10:10 AM
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You really DO have a lot on your plate, but I'm impressed at how you're dealing with it.

Hugs and prayers to you and your family!

Amy
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Old 11-14-2008, 05:58 PM
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Thanks for the supportive notes.
I find it easier to be there helping her (and now her bf) knowing that its taking the load off my parents, and my dad in particular. I think its a little easier for me to help because I can be a bit more removed than my parents, who have put up with sooooo much from her over the years.
Things have calmed down since a few days ago. He is looking for alcoholism treatment and has his court date in a few weeks and will live with his mom till then, and she is less afraid that her world just came to an end and will keep up with her therapy appointments. Fingers crossed that they both will realize that they have to focus on my dad and the baby as reasons for getting their own lives more in order.
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Old 11-15-2008, 05:28 AM
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Prayers things get easier. Hopefully you're taking care of yourself too.

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