Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Taking Care of Ourselves

We do not have to wait for others to come to our aid. We are not victims. We are not helpless.

Letting go of faulty thinking means we realize there are no knights on white horses, no magical grandmothers in the sky watching, waiting to rescue us.

Teachers may come our way, but they will not rescue. They will teach. People who care will come, but they will not rescue. They will care. Help will come, but help is not rescuing.

We are our own rescuers.

Our relationships will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others and stop expecting them to rescue us.

Today, I will let go of the fears and self doubt that block me from taking assertive action in my best interest. I can take care of myself and let others do the same for themselves.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

How enlightened I felt when I learned that the only person holding the key to my happiness, was me.

Once I learned how to work through my issues and pain, and let go of everyone else's, I could stop living in the problem of being a victim and begin living in the solution of being a survivor.

Fear no longer leads me today, faith lights my path and all is well.

Hugs

imallright

ok, and know that I appreciate all that you do here and don't mean to be disrespectful... but, HOW??? When I know what I want and know what is making me sad. Maybe it comes down to faith and trust that this pain is where I am supposed to be. But, it sure feels like I am supposed to move through this and get somewhere where it stops hurting and feels happy and good. I am trying different approaches to get myself there and I guess that is part of the process... but when does the, "ah, this feels right and life is good...." start? I feel like I have struggled and battled the sadness long enough... too long actually... when????

SerenityGirl

Ann, what you said about letting go of every else's issues and pain is key for me. My life revolves around whats happening with everyone else...

SerenityGirl

Imallright. maybe the problem is that YOU have been trying everything, instead of turning things over to your higher power each day....and trusting. Hugs

Ann

For me the "when" began when I charted a course of recovery for myself. I went to meetings and made a commitment to myself to stick with it for at least 6 months and not leave unless I had something better lined up. I knew my first meeting that I was in the right place, and not longafter I got a wonderful sponsor who worked with me so I could understand and work the 12 steps of recovery.

Then I practiced every day. It was awkward at first and I confused those who didn't understand that this was about helping ME for a change. A few months later, I noticed little things, like a whole day going by without me having anxiety attacks or panic attacks. Things my program was teaching me began to make sense.

It didn't happen overnight, nor did it happen in one big swoop. It was more like little rewards and gifts along the way.

I have often said that I would not wish my life on my worst enemy, yet I would not trade a day of it with anyone either. My path led me to the good place I am in today and I am grateful.

Sheesh, that was the short version

imallright

Ann, Thank you. I respect and admire you so much for doing all that you do to help yourself and everyone here. It is sooo not easy. BUT the good news is that I am open to trying everything in my power to get well and live the life I want and deserve. I truly believe that every day we are here is a blessing and a gift... I just don't want to feel like I am wasting one moment. I want to be happy, grateful and not sad. I guess I am just in a huge hurry to make that happen. Thanks for the additional insight.

lizw

My mantra was I chose men who are irresponsible because I was/am/still can be overly responsible BUT in the last year or I have also learnt my pay off for being in relationships with irresponsible men was attention.

They paid me attention. And at times, they rescued me from my $$$$ problems and/or stopped me feeling lonely or from having to take a risk and create my own life and be responsible for it.

Thank god recovery is a process as I've found learning to meet my own needs really, really hard. I am the 2nd oldest in a family of five children were there was never enough of anything so for me, my older sister was more important or my younger siblings were and I sort of got lost in the middle some how - the same way I'm known to loose myself in relationships. I am ace at 'making everything okay' even though it isn't.

Patterns of a life time certainly don't go away overnight, in my case, but like someone else posted, a day at a time I can make other choices which lead to a different life so I won't look for a rescuer or look to rescue another.

Great topic.