lizw

Today my family has a meeting with (CYPS) the child welfare people here regarding the ongoing care of my nephew Peter. He is nearly 2. he lives at my parents house along with his sister Clara (7) as my younger sister, who is their mother, is in no mental fit to take care of them. She is also pregnant again.

At the last meeting (3 months ago) it was decided Peter would join Clara at my parents after their mother/my sister became very erratic, abusing her husband, calling the Police and telling them someone was breaking into their house, people were stalking her etc, etc...

In the end it was concluded (between the doctors, police and welfare workers) she must be suffering from a mental illness and must seek help before welfare would even consider returning her child for any reasonable length of time.

Instead of seeking help she got pregnant. And now she is 'fine'. At the very least the craziness appears to have stopped but the problem with this is that while she was pregnant and breastfeeding, her other kids, she was 'fine' too. When the kids hit the 1 year mark, she just goes bonkers.

I dunno what is going to happen today. Both times her kids were removed from her I pushed they put her in a residential setting to learn proper parenting and address her mental health issues but it's never happened and probably never will. She's desperate but not that desperate.

In a way it reminds me of myself as I am also an alcoholic and my daughter (who is now 13) went to live with my parents too at the end of my drinking. I thought thinks were bad then but they had to get a whole lot worse for me to stop drinking and get responsible by seeking help.

My parents aren't much better really, if I am honest. They really do try their best with the kids but are really just enabling my younger sister. They follow her 'rules' regarding how she wants her kids raised. And I think part of the reason they have the kids is so they don't have to look at how screwy their marriage is. It's all pretty mental.

I'm not saying any of this stuff to be disrespectful but rather to remind myself that alcoholism in my family, is a disease and all this mentalness is a result of it. Even though my parents don't drink my Dad's dad and my Mum's dad were/are alcoholic and the crazy behavior adopted to deal with it has been past on.

I also wanted to write this all down so I acknowledge it, as even I am not immune to the denial of it all. It's easy to get sucked back in.

Freedom1990

:ghug :ghug

Yes, it is indeed a family disease. Neither of my parents drank/drink, but might as well.

My brother is married to an addict who sucks the life out of him, and he allows it.

Mental illness runs in the family. Alcoholism/addiction runs in the family.

I am just so grateful I was blessed with my own recovery, and am glad you have yours too! :ghug

Stubborn1

I was never aware of alcoholism until I married one and when I got pg I quit drinking myself so it hit me all at one time. I realized I not only married one but was well on my way of becoming one and had two best friends that were as well.
Talk about a fast education.
The cycle ends here and I am thankful for the experiences in hopes I can protect my three children from the sickness.
I wish your family well. You are in my prayers

lizw

We use that term for my sister too.
She sucks the life out of everyone also including the welfare people. When she gets a new welfare person (and she's had a few) to begin with they are all cheery and optimistic, then over time she just wears them down.
Poor fckrs.

It's always the same eh?
Crazy, crazy, crazy.


And I dunno about over there but here, the welfare folks must get their qualifactions from a ceral box or something. They are usually so navie it is unbelieveable.

Freedom1990

Yes, it's always the same.

My brother is also a workaholic like my dad, he already had a heart attack at the ripe old age of 40 which left him with permanent heart damage that he has to take meds for, and he hasn't changed what he does one bit.

She smokes more pot in a day than I ever did in a year, she went straight from her mother's house to his bed when they got married, and has never had to lift a finger in her life.

Sad thing is my brother went through intensive OP for a cocaine addiction over a decade ago, and has stayed clean, but gads is he ever codependent.

Some things never change!

lizw

Well after 6 hours or arguing it was decided my sisters son will start spending one night a week with her. To begin with it wasn't enough for her but eventually she agreed.

It was all a bit of a circus really and even the social worker and group facilator got in on the yelling, telling her to grow the fck up and start thinking of her son instead of herself.

My sister is so so victimized it is nearly unbelieveable. She honestly believes having her son taken off her was just an 'over reaction' so he should be returned to her. Neither does she believe she needs any type of mental ill intervention or at the very least counselling because she is now writing a book about how crap her life has been and that is her form of therapy. OMG.

I could rave on about all the in's and out's of it but I won't as it is a waste of energy.

I am so grateful for recovery and grateful I don't have to live with that kind of sanity anymore. I say 'that kind' as I am sure I've other kinds of insantiy in my life. Lol.