I signed the final papers!
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
I signed the final papers!
Hey - I wanted you to know, I signed the final papers Friday. What should have been something - sadness, happiness, relief, whatever did not really happen for me tho - instead I got angry.
I got angry because my AH went to MY attorney's office to sign the papers the week previous - he did this so I would have to pay the legal fees. Well, he took 3 weeks to sign the final papers, and it took me a week to get in there because of scheduling conflicts on both sides. Anyhow as I'm signing, the gal at the attorney office proceeds to tell me that AH has already called during the week to find out if I have finally signed the docs, as this needs to get done, blah blah blah. Then she goes on to tell me that while he was in there signing he was on his pity-pot - he waited until he was 40 to get married, he didn't want the divorce, etc.
Well - that was it. Let me just say, that none of this surprises me. It is all expected and typical addict behavior - however, I'm tired of being reasonable all the time. I have accepted my part, etc., but that JFT last week about anger, the one saying that sometimes we go thru the blame stage, etc. as part of our journey to accepting and letting go - well, I have, for the most part always accepted my part and tempered my anger and hurt by being reasonable and understanding. So - I let it rip,
I got in the car, turned the radio up and just let every angry expletive and horrid thing I had not let myself say come flying out of my mouth. Then, I came home and took a walk with a friend. I was still on a bit of a rant, but by the time we were 3 blocks along, I was running out of steam - it felt so good to finally let it out.
So, now I feel good about signing. I feel relief. I feel a little anxious too, because this is officially the start of my "new" life in a way. I'm looking forward to it and yet I am sad too, for him. I'm learning and growing and going forward, he is stuck and doesn't look like he's going to do anything about it, and that is always sad.
I got angry because my AH went to MY attorney's office to sign the papers the week previous - he did this so I would have to pay the legal fees. Well, he took 3 weeks to sign the final papers, and it took me a week to get in there because of scheduling conflicts on both sides. Anyhow as I'm signing, the gal at the attorney office proceeds to tell me that AH has already called during the week to find out if I have finally signed the docs, as this needs to get done, blah blah blah. Then she goes on to tell me that while he was in there signing he was on his pity-pot - he waited until he was 40 to get married, he didn't want the divorce, etc.
Well - that was it. Let me just say, that none of this surprises me. It is all expected and typical addict behavior - however, I'm tired of being reasonable all the time. I have accepted my part, etc., but that JFT last week about anger, the one saying that sometimes we go thru the blame stage, etc. as part of our journey to accepting and letting go - well, I have, for the most part always accepted my part and tempered my anger and hurt by being reasonable and understanding. So - I let it rip,
I got in the car, turned the radio up and just let every angry expletive and horrid thing I had not let myself say come flying out of my mouth. Then, I came home and took a walk with a friend. I was still on a bit of a rant, but by the time we were 3 blocks along, I was running out of steam - it felt so good to finally let it out.So, now I feel good about signing. I feel relief. I feel a little anxious too, because this is officially the start of my "new" life in a way. I'm looking forward to it and yet I am sad too, for him. I'm learning and growing and going forward, he is stuck and doesn't look like he's going to do anything about it, and that is always sad.
Ph.D in insanity!!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 698
You know he's hurting inside as well. They have their moments of weakness. I'm sorry you are going through this. It sucks and no one should have to go through it.
I filed three times and cancelled the last two. This last time when he signed I was angry just like you. Somehow........our papers disappeared and he lays no claim to that but no biggie. He's attempting a recovery.....so we are trying again.
I filed three times and cancelled the last two. This last time when he signed I was angry just like you. Somehow........our papers disappeared and he lays no claim to that but no biggie. He's attempting a recovery.....so we are trying again.
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