Peacekeeping

My husband is on Day 3 of sobriety. He has had 5-8 drinks (mostly wine) a day for many years. I can't think of a single day in 5 years that he hasn't had at least 2-3 drinks, and it is unusual for him to stop at this amount. He very reluctantly went to a meeting on Friday after we had a blowout fight over his behaviour, and hasn't had a drink since (it is Sun). He is incredibly irritable and depressed, no other obvious physical symptoms. I recognize this as withdrawal (he had similar symptoms when he dramatically reduced an anti-depressant). I am not sure if he is aware that his mood is or can be a result of withdrawal. When I just asked him if what was wrong, he said: "I guess I am used to being on my own" (In the course of our argument, I talked about the possibility of a divorce). But after he went to the meeting, we drove with our daughter to our house upstate, I made a beautiful dinner, I've been completely non-confrontational and he has no reason to think that he is "on his own" (except in confronting his own demons).

Long-winded, I apologize, but should I let him know that his feelings may be part of his physical and psychological withdrawal from alcohol? In a more logical moment, he would see the parallel between this and the anti-depressant withdrawal. But I am wondering if it would be of any use for him to know, if he would even listen, if it would seem confrontational.

Any advice?

Freedom1990

I have often found that if I have discomfort over someone else's feelings, I still want to 'fix' them in some way, and I really have to be careful about that.

My youngest AD is back in her 'down cycle', that is, she basically loses sight of what she wants in life, starts staying out the majority of the night, and sleeps half the day (she works evenings at Pizza Hut).

Today I allow her to have her own feelings, and don't feel it necessary to point out she's depressed or angry or disappointed or any of those feelings I am uncomfortable in seeing someone else experiencing.

DII

You really can't "tell" him what he is feeling, going through etc. My experience is that they need to understand their disease and THEY need to understand what is happening to themselves. Your boundry can certainly be that they need to get the information through AA, counseling etc, to get thet understand or the relationship is in danger.