BayAreaPhoenix

First of all - I think it's been over a year since I told my AH I wanted a divorce and then short thereafter found out about his porn and opiate addiction.

Wow!

What a year it has been! I have been so fortunate to have such a supportive village - because, at least in my case, it has taken this village to get me sanely thru this process (no snickers from the peanut gallery on the "sane" comment - thank you very much!)

I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on some of the things I have learned so far, which all of you have taken a part in the teaching of to me. After my therapy session today, I had to acknowledge "out loud" that I have come further than I thought I had.

I have learned, that while I accept my responsibility for how long I allowed my AH's behavior to affect me when I knew it was unacceptable, it is OK to blame, scream, point, overthink at times, etc., so long as it got me to acceptance and peace.

I have learned that I no longer simply believe everything someone (anyone) tells me and to try to twist and make what I know to be reality fit into theirs. I also no longer feel the need to try to get them to admit reality. I can now listen, nod and go on my way - knowing what I know.

I have learned that it's OK to be vulnerable.

I have learned that I am a good, kind, pretty (enough) person - inside and out.

I have learned that I have something to give back.

I have learned to express an opinion on something I feel strongly about without the need to attack, belittle or be validated.

These are but a few of the lessons in just over 12 mos. I have learned. I think you all should give yourselves a pat on the back, because you are all wonderful instructors!

I have put most all of the things above into practice (not by trying, but automatically) this past week. Yep, it's been in my bones - WOW, I couldn't believe it!


I'm proud and happy to be part of this group. I am grateful for my husband's addiction (not in a mean way). Without that, I wouldn't be here - and I can't imagine that any longer. The blessings that have come to me along this journey, I have tried to count along the way and express it, but it continues to amaze me. I wouldn't change a thing. Not one hurt, not one lesson. If I did, I wouldn't know you.

Thank you - for those of you ahead of me on this journey, I look to you for continued guidance. For those of you behind me on this journey, hang on tight - you're in a great place and you will get there before you know it, just keep walking the walk - one baby-step at a time!


:ghug

imallright

Wow! You have done some very hard work and you should be so proud. Good for you. It's all about small steps in my mind that lead to being able to take the giant leaps. Those leaps aren't quite so scarey when I know that others have "cleared the hurdle" and so I can too. The support and love that is offered at SR is amazing and I too am grateful that I found this place and all of you. Thanks!

beegee

It is wonderful that you are taking care of you because sometimes we get so wrapped up in them and what they are doing to us we forget We count too!
Good to read the good stuff, keep it up and yes, this is a wonderful place to fall into to.

HurtingDad

Can't put it any better...this place is great. Thanks for sharing your lessons.

BigSis

Wow... this IS progress. You rock, woman!!


(((hugs)))

BBD

You sound terrific and I long for the day that I can be as strong as so many of you women on here. YUP~~~~this place is a Godsend!! Smiles, Bonnie

Impurrfect

What a great post!!

Every time I see you're new screen name, I smile because I know how far you've come.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy