Over-The-Counter (OTC) Drug Tests
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 59
Over-The-Counter (OTC) Drug Tests
Hello Friends,
I found the Nov 4 "Language of Letting Go - Anger Phase" post to be very touching... It has helped me a great deal move into the next phase of this process...
As some of you know... I recently discovered signs of Relapse in my fiance. I decided to keep a quiet journal of my current experiences, to serve in reminding *myself* of the various "BS moments" (quacking)... Upon review of it, I'm amazed at how quickly I forget (denial) the small details... just two days ago I discovered $20 missing from my wallet..
Currently on a business trip from Wed-Saturday -- totally out-of-town. Happy for the mind-vacation (although, only partially, since I'm posting on this forum).. I've decided to give him an OTC drug test upon return from the trip so that I can drive him to Salvation Army without any "guilt" about "maybe I was imagining everything".
If it is not kosher to post/advertise for a particular product, I welcome a PM from anyone who has tried OTC tests with success. Also, any advice or comments about this post is whole-heartedly welcomed!! I'm just trying to protect myself from this quacking... I believe in my heart that he is using, but know that if he has relaspsed he will lie about it, and this is my dumb "proof". Regardless, I know that it is only a matter of time before he cannot hide it anymore, but I just want to try and get the hell away before it reaches the point of Total MeltDown.. By the way, his DOC is crack.
Thank you for reading..
I found the Nov 4 "Language of Letting Go - Anger Phase" post to be very touching... It has helped me a great deal move into the next phase of this process...
As some of you know... I recently discovered signs of Relapse in my fiance. I decided to keep a quiet journal of my current experiences, to serve in reminding *myself* of the various "BS moments" (quacking)... Upon review of it, I'm amazed at how quickly I forget (denial) the small details... just two days ago I discovered $20 missing from my wallet..
Currently on a business trip from Wed-Saturday -- totally out-of-town. Happy for the mind-vacation (although, only partially, since I'm posting on this forum).. I've decided to give him an OTC drug test upon return from the trip so that I can drive him to Salvation Army without any "guilt" about "maybe I was imagining everything".
If it is not kosher to post/advertise for a particular product, I welcome a PM from anyone who has tried OTC tests with success. Also, any advice or comments about this post is whole-heartedly welcomed!! I'm just trying to protect myself from this quacking... I believe in my heart that he is using, but know that if he has relaspsed he will lie about it, and this is my dumb "proof". Regardless, I know that it is only a matter of time before he cannot hide it anymore, but I just want to try and get the hell away before it reaches the point of Total MeltDown.. By the way, his DOC is crack.
Thank you for reading..
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hmmm, drug tests are something I personally find degrading, to the giver as well as the taker. They are not always accurate, can be easily altered, and in the end they just prove what we already know. And what about an hour after the test has been given? See what I mean? This can drive us crazy if we let it.
I work at a recovery house and can tell you that even the high quality tests administered by a trained professional, can be off the mark if not done exactly right.
Maybe think about how you feel away for a few days and ask yourself why you cannot feel that same peace when you are with him. Many of us found our peace by going to meetings, Alanon, Naranon and CoDA are all similar and wonderful programs that can save your life...I know it saved mine. Maybe give them a try and see if it doesn't help you?
My heart and prayers go out for you. It is painful and mindboggling to live with an active addict.
Hugs
I work at a recovery house and can tell you that even the high quality tests administered by a trained professional, can be off the mark if not done exactly right.
Maybe think about how you feel away for a few days and ask yourself why you cannot feel that same peace when you are with him. Many of us found our peace by going to meetings, Alanon, Naranon and CoDA are all similar and wonderful programs that can save your life...I know it saved mine. Maybe give them a try and see if it doesn't help you?
My heart and prayers go out for you. It is painful and mindboggling to live with an active addict.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
OTC drug tests would only work if you knew exactly what he took. There are many different types - some of the expensive ones test for a wide variety. The thing is some substances dont show up or only show up for 24 hours. If an addict is being drug tested they typically know what shows up and what doesnt. My son OD a couple of months ago and even in the ER they couldnt tell what he had taken. In his delirium he finally told me what he took and even then they couldnt find it in his urine or blood so my personal view is that they really dont do much good.
I agree with Ann that they are degrading to both the giver and taker. If he is not using then he will resent you and if he fails it or refuses you will resent him. I dont know any addict that would voluntarily take a drug test unless it was mandated by a court or police officer. It just seems that drug testing a loved one is just a way of trying to control them - i personally just cant see how that step could have a postive outcome no matter what the results of a test were.
I agree with Ann that they are degrading to both the giver and taker. If he is not using then he will resent you and if he fails it or refuses you will resent him. I dont know any addict that would voluntarily take a drug test unless it was mandated by a court or police officer. It just seems that drug testing a loved one is just a way of trying to control them - i personally just cant see how that step could have a postive outcome no matter what the results of a test were.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 44
I do give my 18 yo AS a drug test. That is because I cannot tell when he is using and when he is not, other than his addict behavior. The reason I give a drug test is that he is not allowed to live in my home if he is using. I will not give him a drug test unless I see addict behavior, lying, stealing, etc.
For example, my son was released from his residential rehab a week ago Tuesday. He was to attend a full day rehab for the next 2 weeks. The first night he was home, he was doing all sorts of responsible activities to get his life back on track. He had to go to his job to fill out paperwork to get paid, etc. He was away from home for a few hours, with friends we are not to certain about, but came home as he said he would, and everything was fine.
The next day he went to rehab for the day and after that was over he was going to take one of the guys from rehab home. He was doing this guy a favor and the guy was going to pay for his gas. This guy lived about 1-1/2 hours from us. My son called me when he was almost to this guy's house and says he is out of gas and this guy did not have the money for gas until he got to his house. He needs me to put money in his account for gas. I put a few bucks in his account and he is on his way. He then calls a few hours later, when I expected him home, and still has not left this guy's house. Says the guy is having problems with his dad. Then calls again later and says he is having dinner with this guy, this guy's dad, and this guy's sponser. Then he calls at 11:30 p.m. and is still not on his way. He doesn't get home until 2:00 a.m. Believe me, red flags are going off for me.
When he gets home, I told him he needed to take a drug test. He refused. I let him go to bed and woke him at 7 a.m. and told him he either takes a drug test or he has to pack and leave. I gave him until 9 a.m. to get out. He finally takes a drug test at 9 a.m. and it is positive for his DOC plus another drug. Back to residential rehab he went.
I guess I could have told him to leave just based on his behavior, but I can't do that without really knowing the truth about his drug use. This is something I have to do for me. I would be constantly second guessing myself otherwise. I ordered a 12 panel test kit, since his doc Oxycontin does not show up on most drug tests.
If I don't see the behavior, I will not test. It is that simple. I'm sorry if it is degrading for him, but I didn't cause this situation, he did. I guess if he was older then I wouldn't feel too bad about just kicking him out without proof. But he is only 18.
By the way, the drug tests on the internet are a lot cheaper than the ones in the store. I was paying $40 per test at the store and only about $9 on line.
Kathy
For example, my son was released from his residential rehab a week ago Tuesday. He was to attend a full day rehab for the next 2 weeks. The first night he was home, he was doing all sorts of responsible activities to get his life back on track. He had to go to his job to fill out paperwork to get paid, etc. He was away from home for a few hours, with friends we are not to certain about, but came home as he said he would, and everything was fine.
The next day he went to rehab for the day and after that was over he was going to take one of the guys from rehab home. He was doing this guy a favor and the guy was going to pay for his gas. This guy lived about 1-1/2 hours from us. My son called me when he was almost to this guy's house and says he is out of gas and this guy did not have the money for gas until he got to his house. He needs me to put money in his account for gas. I put a few bucks in his account and he is on his way. He then calls a few hours later, when I expected him home, and still has not left this guy's house. Says the guy is having problems with his dad. Then calls again later and says he is having dinner with this guy, this guy's dad, and this guy's sponser. Then he calls at 11:30 p.m. and is still not on his way. He doesn't get home until 2:00 a.m. Believe me, red flags are going off for me.
When he gets home, I told him he needed to take a drug test. He refused. I let him go to bed and woke him at 7 a.m. and told him he either takes a drug test or he has to pack and leave. I gave him until 9 a.m. to get out. He finally takes a drug test at 9 a.m. and it is positive for his DOC plus another drug. Back to residential rehab he went.
I guess I could have told him to leave just based on his behavior, but I can't do that without really knowing the truth about his drug use. This is something I have to do for me. I would be constantly second guessing myself otherwise. I ordered a 12 panel test kit, since his doc Oxycontin does not show up on most drug tests.
If I don't see the behavior, I will not test. It is that simple. I'm sorry if it is degrading for him, but I didn't cause this situation, he did. I guess if he was older then I wouldn't feel too bad about just kicking him out without proof. But he is only 18.
By the way, the drug tests on the internet are a lot cheaper than the ones in the store. I was paying $40 per test at the store and only about $9 on line.
Kathy
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: nowhere US
Posts: 179
I've never tried an OTC drug test....I have to take them damn near every day for drug court but never tried an OTC one. I hope you find what you are looking for.
I'm just curious though... have ya'll ever talked about him taking a drug test for you. Is this something ya'll are open about? Do you know that he's willing? If it were me in your shoes I would probably want him to take one too if only just for my peace of mind. And in my opinion and clean drug test can only strengthen a relationship. If he is clean and sensitive to what you are going through then he won't mind doing it. I hope that's the case. Now that I'm in recovery I totally understand the people in my life's fears and frustrations and at this point would do anything to help the people that I care about feel more comfortable. I mean how can I blame them? I've been lying to them about my addiction and everything else for 15 years. If he passes be sure and tell him how much you appreciate him doing that for you. Make sure and tell him how proud of him you are. Affirmations are important. If he fails then be ready to make the decision that you need to. Do what's best for you. I hope it all works out the way you want it to. I KNOW it will work out the way God intended. He doesn't make mistakes. JMO.
V
I'm just curious though... have ya'll ever talked about him taking a drug test for you. Is this something ya'll are open about? Do you know that he's willing? If it were me in your shoes I would probably want him to take one too if only just for my peace of mind. And in my opinion and clean drug test can only strengthen a relationship. If he is clean and sensitive to what you are going through then he won't mind doing it. I hope that's the case. Now that I'm in recovery I totally understand the people in my life's fears and frustrations and at this point would do anything to help the people that I care about feel more comfortable. I mean how can I blame them? I've been lying to them about my addiction and everything else for 15 years. If he passes be sure and tell him how much you appreciate him doing that for you. Make sure and tell him how proud of him you are. Affirmations are important. If he fails then be ready to make the decision that you need to. Do what's best for you. I hope it all works out the way you want it to. I KNOW it will work out the way God intended. He doesn't make mistakes. JMO.
V
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: nowhere US
Posts: 179
[QUOTE=winnie12;1971687]
I dont know any addict that would voluntarily take a drug test unless it was mandated by a court or policeQUOTE]
I disagree. When they say you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to find recovery and keep it, this is one of those things. Rebuilding relationships that we lost is tough after getting sober. Real tough and sometimes we have to go to really huge lengths do do it. This is just one of those things we might have to do. I, for one, am willing to test for anyone if it will bring them a sense of peace, however small it may be. It's the least I can do after the misery I brought to my loved ones. It takes what it takes. But once again, that's just me.
I dont know any addict that would voluntarily take a drug test unless it was mandated by a court or policeQUOTE]
I disagree. When they say you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to find recovery and keep it, this is one of those things. Rebuilding relationships that we lost is tough after getting sober. Real tough and sometimes we have to go to really huge lengths do do it. This is just one of those things we might have to do. I, for one, am willing to test for anyone if it will bring them a sense of peace, however small it may be. It's the least I can do after the misery I brought to my loved ones. It takes what it takes. But once again, that's just me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
freshstart, Thank you for correcting me - I should have phrased that as to my own experiences. Its really refreshing to hear someone who is willing to do anything and everything - obviously my AS's situation hasnt gotten to that point. I hope one day he has that same attitude.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
All rehabs that I know of drug test on a random basis as well as when the guest returns off a pass. The same thing happens in most Sober Living places. It's often a condition of staying in rehab or the sober house.
I made a clean test a condition for my daughter's continued living at home, after her last relapse/cold turkey withdrawal. It's my choice when to test.
The urine tests are the most common and least expensive tests and most prone to questionable results. BTW, fake urine is sold over the internet and comes with instructions to carry it on your person so that it warms to body temp.
There are also saliva tests that have a higher degree of accuracy because they can be administered in your presence. And lastly, the hair testing kits can detect previous usage for months. These require lab analysis and are quite costly.
Both urine and saliva tests come in panels and test for specific drugs. There is no such thing as a one size fits all. There are some substances that will not show positive on any test.
It is to be expected that if a result shows positive that the person being tested will deny using and claim the test is wrong. It is probably the most common thing PO's hear from their charges.
I made a clean test a condition for my daughter's continued living at home, after her last relapse/cold turkey withdrawal. It's my choice when to test.
The urine tests are the most common and least expensive tests and most prone to questionable results. BTW, fake urine is sold over the internet and comes with instructions to carry it on your person so that it warms to body temp.
There are also saliva tests that have a higher degree of accuracy because they can be administered in your presence. And lastly, the hair testing kits can detect previous usage for months. These require lab analysis and are quite costly.
Both urine and saliva tests come in panels and test for specific drugs. There is no such thing as a one size fits all. There are some substances that will not show positive on any test.
It is to be expected that if a result shows positive that the person being tested will deny using and claim the test is wrong. It is probably the most common thing PO's hear from their charges.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: nowhere US
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by winnie12 
freshstart, Thank you for correcting me - I should have phrased that as to my own experiences. Its really refreshing to hear someone who is willing to do anything and everything - obviously my AS's situation hasnt gotten to that point. I hope one day he has that same attitude.
I wasn't trying to correct. I'm sorry. Everyone on this board has differing views because their experiences are all so different. I just wanted to share that not all addicts are a certain way....about anything really. Our experiences shape the way we look at things the exact same way as our families views are shaped by their experiences and the things that we put them through. I truly hope someday your loved one will be at a point where he is willing to do what he has to in order to gain your trust back. Trust is so hard to get...even harder to keep and almost impossible to get back once lost. We have to be willing to go to sometimes extreme measures to get back a portion of what we lost when it comes to how our familes view us. I hope everything works out the way it should soon for you. God's timing is perfect. Ours is flawed. He knows what's going on. Never doubt that.
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