Another Weekend with the Boys?
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: The land of Chicken Wings
Posts: 13
Another Weekend with the Boys?
So, here's the deal, he's (my dad) going on another one of his weekend with the boys. Where he think's he's Bob Dyland (and you know, I used to like Dyland...he ruined it for me) and the rest of his drinking buddies are the drummers guitarests, etc. But after his nice long he's going to come back grey and pissed off...He makes it so easy for me to hate him. And even though I can plan what I'm going to do, I feel depressed because I can't enact my plan now. It's not fair for me to hate being at my house. At the same time none of my friends really understand me for example they like going to parties and drinking...I just...it makes me cringe to think about drinking.
And the one friend I actually have, was just diagnosed with stage two spinal chord cancer. I feel like my life is caving in on me, I'm so scared for her while trying to be strong for her, and trying not to break at home...I'm going to bend too far...
And the one friend I actually have, was just diagnosed with stage two spinal chord cancer. I feel like my life is caving in on me, I'm so scared for her while trying to be strong for her, and trying not to break at home...I'm going to bend too far...
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Everlong,
Have you taken any time to read the "stickies" at the top of this page? They help people who have loved ones that are alcoholics, and talk a lot about the condition of codependency. I know I never realized that "I" might be having as many problems emotionally and psychologically as the alcoholics in my life until I did some studying of this concept. One particular book that was really eye-opening and life-altering was "Codependency No More" by Melody Beattie. I suggest finding it at the book store or library. I had each of my kids read it when they were teenagers; my son really got a lot out of it, my daughter I don't think actually read it all and chose to ignore it. Maybe she'll read it someday.
I'm so sorry about your dear friend, Everlong. That thing you do, where you stand strong for others even though you are dying inside. It's a tough call between being strong and being codependent. Try reading up on it a little and make sure you aren't doing yourself any more harm unintentionally. Right now it sounds like you have only yourself to depend on. Take good care of YOU first; the rest then seems to just fall into place.
Have you taken any time to read the "stickies" at the top of this page? They help people who have loved ones that are alcoholics, and talk a lot about the condition of codependency. I know I never realized that "I" might be having as many problems emotionally and psychologically as the alcoholics in my life until I did some studying of this concept. One particular book that was really eye-opening and life-altering was "Codependency No More" by Melody Beattie. I suggest finding it at the book store or library. I had each of my kids read it when they were teenagers; my son really got a lot out of it, my daughter I don't think actually read it all and chose to ignore it. Maybe she'll read it someday.
I'm so sorry about your dear friend, Everlong. That thing you do, where you stand strong for others even though you are dying inside. It's a tough call between being strong and being codependent. Try reading up on it a little and make sure you aren't doing yourself any more harm unintentionally. Right now it sounds like you have only yourself to depend on. Take good care of YOU first; the rest then seems to just fall into place.
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