blessed4x

Just wondering how much risk I am putting my family in by staying. I went to the library tonight and come home and AH's company vehicle is not in the driveway. My 16 year old said he left because he "had to go out on a call". He's been in the garage drinking since afternoon.....how much I have no idea because I haven't paid any attention other than he's got a beer in his hand everytime he comes in and out. Anyway, even if someone hits him, or he gets a ticket, he has to immediately submit a urine screen. It's raining cats and dogs out there......I hate to even think this, but I hope he gets busted big time. Hey, a girl's gotta have dreams.


OK, I've vented now, feel better, and can go about my reading. Got some GREAT books BTW.

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship by Leslie Vernick
The Road Back to Yourself: The second Journey by Joan Anderson
and
Obamanomics by John R. Talbott

sodetermined

Chris used to get in his truck and drive drunk...and he has no license. They are idiots. And he eventually did get busted, a couple times.

Well, I hope he does make it SOMEWHERE safe, and I just have to say that your post helped remind me tonight of what I DON'T miss about Chris, I really needed that today.

Live

I hope he doesn't get hurt or hurt some other innocent people.

Just my 2 cents, but I think I have a responsibility to protect those other drivers. It is not just about getting busted.

blessed4x

I agree 100%. I have no idea where he is and don't know what his liscense number is. I have considered letting his supervisor know, but not sure if it would matter.....good ole boys, you know.

You are right though. That's the biggest reason I want him caught.....so it can never happen again.

bumyd

Oh gosh Blessed. I think I have a feeling what your going through. What makes it so bad is that when they don't get caught, it makes them feel invinsable. Mine hit many things...Thank God never anyone. He wrapped the car around a tree once and passer byers called the cops. He called his mom, she got therepulled up and he jumped in the car....his words the next day...Man I sure am blessed. Hahaha. And he came home ...in the company truck...drinking again. He alwasy kept a few in the little glove compartment. Couldn't wait that 20 minutes for the ride home.

You'll find that the good ole' boys club breaks up pretty quick when the owner of the company is facing lawsuit. Gosh, I wish there were something I could say to help you. Thank God your son wasn't in the truck with him. It's one thing to be self destructive but when innocent others start getting hurt...no good.

I've always told myself I'm never doing the divorce/seperation thing...but I tell ya what, it's nice being able to breath.
Hugs and prayers to you!

blessed4x

He never did come home. Of course he never answers his cell either. The sad thing is that in a healthy relationship, if a person didn't come home all night and didn't call it would be because there was no other way. For us it's become the norm.

He's gone and shown up the next day so many times now that if something bad did happen it would take a day or two for me to even figure it out. I'm trying really hard to stay in that centered place and not let the mind wander to the dark side......

sodetermined

I was thinking about you this morning.

When Chris would come home after being gone all night, or most of it and I would be angry he would always say "something bad could have happened and you wouldn't even care"......no, it's just that I had come to expect it and not worry anymore as much.

bumyd

That just shows how detached alcohol makes you. I was having one of my days and my mother just happened to call. her words to me.....

Look at it this way, You're dying inside and you have a choice, give up and pull the plug, or love yourself enough to do what's best for you and your boys.

That was enough said for me...at least that day.
You are blessed.....and you are in my prayers.

justaboutus

That's how I feel about my situation.

Pajarito

Man, do I need this today. It is all about loving myself, but it's so hard to grasp and keep hold of- especially when it means giving up a dream.

(((blessed4x))) You have a lot you are dealing with, and I admire your strength. All I can offer you is support. Take care.

blessed4x

Thank you all. I dropped the kids off at school, came to work, and am making an attempt at life as usual. I feel really fragile, like at any moment it's all going to fall apart. If I weren't dealing with a dying father and 4 needy kids......but I am and I will. And you know, it's probably those things that keep me distracted enough to stay sane.

What would I do if I didn't know there were so many of you going through (or have gone through) this same? Thanks for the company.....