DWAgain

Right...don't really have much to say. A few weeks ago I posted on another thread with my tail between my legs because I had returned under a new alias since I had slipped after a long time sober. Well, I believe it was Carol who said, to paraphrase, "Look, you tried it by yourself before. It didn't work. Try a meeting."

Thank you...after a couple of days of hemming and hawing, I finally made it to my first AA meeting. I have to say, honestly it wasn't one of the most favorable experiences of my life. The meeting that I went to a couple of days later was, however. I've been to a few more since then, and always try to remember - "take what you need, leave the rest behind." It's been going good. I've got some sobriety under my belt again - albeit days, not months - but that's not the important thing. The important thing is that I haven't drank today.

Which leads me to this. For some reason my head has been playing funny tricks on me today and the little man inside is trying to tell me things I don't want to hear. I'm sitting here at work, getting ready to go to the gym and then home. This is always the dangerous time of the day, as I have to pass SOOO many gas stations, convenience stores, liquor stores etc just to get home. I've also found that after leaving the gym, I'm REALLY susceptible to the nasty little thoughts because I'm feeling my most invincible. Anyway, I just needed to unload a bit and maybe ask that someone keep me in their thoughts as I try to "make it home" tonight.

lostbutterfly

I will. It's bedtime here, but you're not alone. I run the same gauntlet every day too!!!! You can do it! And every time you do, it get's easier. :praying

NewDayNow

Make it home tonight, my friend.

You are in my thoughts

Ed

least

Take it hour by hour or minute by minute if you have to. Just don't pick up! You can do this. :ghug3

Freedom125

I know the feeling, especially that post gym one. But you can do it. Try and think of us all here willing you on.

PS. Have a great workout ... and remember to stretch ;-)

Hevyn

You're in my thoughts, too. I promise you it gets easier as time goes by. I know you get tired of hearing that, but at 9 mos. I hardly ever have weak moments like you're describing - but in the beginning, every day was a new challenge. You will grow stronger as you keep forging ahead. All your feelings are perfectly normal, and we've all been there. Feel free to unload any time.

IO Storm

Crazy feeling ain't it...lonely..like you are the only sad..anxious..on the edge,

mixed up..everyone else on the road, seems happy.

Weird huh?

It's a lie. I was there..still go there.

But don't stay there for long.

My thoughts are with you!

Please..try another meeting...and

Don't drink no matter what.

Hugs

Ananda

It helps me to focus on the little details of what i am doing...noticing who passes me on the street, the cracks on the sidewalk, my breathing, the sounds around me....just staying in the moment as entirly as possible.

I'll be thinking of you!8

Anna

Hi DW,

I think that being prepared, as you are, gives you strength. The voice in your head isn't going to give up easily. But, I found, that seeing it for what it was, was a big help to me. It was the disease talking, it was not me. I knew what I needed to do, I knew where my focus was.

Know that you are not alone tonight.

Toomutch

My thoughts are definately with you. I think it is remarkable that you know when your week moments are. Have a great workout and a relaxing "non drinking" night.

CarolD

Prayers for your peace of mind

DWAgain

Thank you...all. I needed that. Made it to the gym...made it home. I know that I will be waking up tomorrow sober, ready to start it all again...and that makes me happy.

mtnmagic

Good for you DW. So glad you made it home sober. Awesome!

Hope

I'm glad that you got through it!

IO Storm

Great DW!

I made it through too...

Another daily reprieve. Grateful for this.

It is all any of do have.