Troubledone

I visited my Meth addicted niece in the workhouse this past weekend.

For those of you who don't know the story - here's the short version - She was convicted of first and second degree felony possession (she was selling and using), she got probation instead of prison, messed up and is back in the workhouse. If she does well, she will go back on probation after another round of treatment, if not, she could end up doing her time (as much as 10 years)

So - my dilemma...

She's not in her right mind. She makes connections to things that aren't real. The in-house shrink tells her they can't even give her a mental health diagnosis until she's clean for a year - so I'm guessing her mental state is a combination of the drugs and the usual denial that goes with it.

She has gotten religion again (this always happens when she's in jail), but I dont' really see any remorse or humility. Instead she insists she didn't get "justice" and tells me her nitwit boyfriend is going to get her out of jail.

In the meantime, the boyfriend drew a disgusting picture and mailed it to her and got his visitation revoked (they read all the letters that come in). She can't see how bizarre and dysfunctional that is. She still thinks he's her prince charming (could it be because he puts money in her account to buy stuff from the workhouse commisssary and tells her what she wants to hear?)

Anyway, when I go to visit (which isn't often), she talks a zillion miles a minutes and most of it doesn't make sense.

I'm tempted to mail her a before and after picture of herself but I realize she wouldn't really see what I was getting at anyway.

So I keep asking myself - is there any way to get through to her. She thinks she's going to get out and go live happily ever after with the nitwit. I know from her p.o. that after the workhouse, she will be required to do rehab again and then go to a halfway house.

I know its useless to tell her what the real story is, she just keeps believing the nitwit. I know I need to just be patient and God will take care of it all - and I wouldn't even mind if she did end up back in prison - at least I know she's safe and gets 3 meals a day and no drugs.

And, I suppose the huge let down that will come when she realize the nitwit has been lying to her all this time will be a good thing if she can see it.

I just can't fathom how deep and wide the denial is.

Well, any insight anyone can offer would help... I don't plan to do anything - although I have thought about writing a letter to her judge because he's new to her case... She always puts on a pretty face when she's in court and then I hear all the real stuff she's thinking... But I'm not sure that would do any good either.

Thanks

hello-kitty

I'm sorry she is so "sick". Detach with love is the only insight I can offer.

marle

I remember when my daughter was 19 and living with her 36 year old crack addict boyfriend. She told me that any 19 year old would be jealous of her with what she had. What she had was a huge addiction, a man almost twice her age that bought all her drugs, an apartment that looked like it had been through a war, no money, no college, no job, etc. etc. etc. You get the picture. She now knows that that was her addict brain telling her everything was okay. But it took her a long time to come to that realization. Your niece has a long way to go but if she stays where she is, she will get there. Meth is one mean drug when it comes to the brain. I would say that if it really effects your state of mine, don't go. Hugs, Marle

Latte

I spoke to a meth addict in recovery (he had been clean five years). He still belived that during the time he was using that the government was chasing him around the country and some other things that I won't go into here. He still didn't see the insanity in everything he was saying. He doesn't believe the government is after him anymore but wow. It was some insight on how the brain can be altered.

You probably just have to wait to see how it works out. Hopefully the judge has done his research about how long it takes a persons brain to recover from the damage.

My thoughts are with you.

ZombieWife

Meth is a hard thing. It really can mess with the mind. Hang in there. The "no psych eval until a year of sobriety" is disturbing.

Done_With_It

I agree the one year thing is a bit exagerated imo.
She sounds like she needs some medication to slow her
brain down. It took y brain time to heal also, don't
forget that stuff puts actual holes in the brain..

You already know what I think,
but do what you feel comfortable doing, is my best advice.

Troubledone

Thanks to all - each of you have given me a perspective that I didn't have...

Maybe I'll check in with her p.o. and find out what the new judge's plan is...

Thanks for the reality check

rahsue

I'm sure if you -itched about it she would get that pysch evaluation, it sounds like she really needs it.
I remember reading somewhere that meth addicts act "crazy' for quite awhile after they stop using. I don't remember why,(sorry the addict in my life was on heroin) but maybe thats why the long time before evaluation.

good luck to you and her

HurtingDad

Sometimes you wonder what comes first, the drug use or a
mental condition that was exacerbated by the drugs.

You can't cure her, but you can love her and advocate for her....only she can cure herself. You need to step back and be there for her when the time is right. It's really tough to do. The letter to the judge is a good idea, they do read them.(don't ask me how I know)

Prayers for you and your daughter.