Nice to meet you all!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1
Nice to meet you all!
I am brand new here and just wanted to introduce myself.
I've been with a man for 2 years, who is an alcoholic. He was in the dumps when I met him, and when we became serious it was about 3-4 months before he got into the program. He was 6mths sober before he let it all go down the drain slowly, and then spiraled so fast, I didn't even know what hit me. Until he did. As of Oct 1st, he is sober, so congratulations to him! But, my real problem is me...
Toward the end of the summer, I became unemployed, and increasingly depressed. Never cleaning, never showering, no sex, no intimacy, but constantly trying to grasp onto the romance of how we used to be. He was constantly isolating himself, out drinking, or working. I am so used to that lifestyle of sitting at home not doing anything, being isolated from "real life" that I am scared to even do anything again. I don't want to be selfish in the relationship like I feel that I am sometimes, but I don't want to sit here anymore! I'm looking into AlAnon meetings, but afraid to do that too! It's like we have switched places and now I am the one who wants to isolate myself. How can I gather the strength to get out into the real world and at the same time help support his recovery and work on our relationship? ANY suggestions I would appreciate, I only know one other person who lived with an alcoholic, but her situation was quite different. Thanks!
I've been with a man for 2 years, who is an alcoholic. He was in the dumps when I met him, and when we became serious it was about 3-4 months before he got into the program. He was 6mths sober before he let it all go down the drain slowly, and then spiraled so fast, I didn't even know what hit me. Until he did. As of Oct 1st, he is sober, so congratulations to him! But, my real problem is me...
Toward the end of the summer, I became unemployed, and increasingly depressed. Never cleaning, never showering, no sex, no intimacy, but constantly trying to grasp onto the romance of how we used to be. He was constantly isolating himself, out drinking, or working. I am so used to that lifestyle of sitting at home not doing anything, being isolated from "real life" that I am scared to even do anything again. I don't want to be selfish in the relationship like I feel that I am sometimes, but I don't want to sit here anymore! I'm looking into AlAnon meetings, but afraid to do that too! It's like we have switched places and now I am the one who wants to isolate myself. How can I gather the strength to get out into the real world and at the same time help support his recovery and work on our relationship? ANY suggestions I would appreciate, I only know one other person who lived with an alcoholic, but her situation was quite different. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Someplace USA
Posts: 415
Hello and Welcome,
Well, I guess I would suggest you see a doctor for your depression. I also think once you do that an Al-anon group would be a good thing. Maybe a counselor. I do have a therapist and I'm on meds for depression due to a chronic illness, but many of my sessions are spent talking about my AH.
You'll find lots of help and encouragement on this board. I'm sure others will have more to tell you! I'm kind of new in all this myself.
Welcome!!!
Well, I guess I would suggest you see a doctor for your depression. I also think once you do that an Al-anon group would be a good thing. Maybe a counselor. I do have a therapist and I'm on meds for depression due to a chronic illness, but many of my sessions are spent talking about my AH.
You'll find lots of help and encouragement on this board. I'm sure others will have more to tell you! I'm kind of new in all this myself.
Welcome!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Welcome, and I can identify with the isolation and social anxiety!
I second the suggestion on seeing your doctor about the depression, and perhaps considering therapy to help with your depression. I hit a horrible spot with depression this time last year, and started back up in therapy again.
There are still days I don't want to go anywhere, but I walk through the discomfort, and attend meetings, and set small goals for myself like going to mail a letter or pick up a few groceries.
I second the suggestion on seeing your doctor about the depression, and perhaps considering therapy to help with your depression. I hit a horrible spot with depression this time last year, and started back up in therapy again.
There are still days I don't want to go anywhere, but I walk through the discomfort, and attend meetings, and set small goals for myself like going to mail a letter or pick up a few groceries.
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