Today I am freaking OUT!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Reality......
Posts: 735
Today I am freaking OUT!!!
Ok so for the first week that the exadbf was kicked out he acted like it was the best thing that had happened to him. Acted like he was better off without his family and life was gonna be GREAT. Even went as far as saying he was gonna get his own place. Then it changed to he was moving in with his sister when she moved into a new place on the first of November.
Next two weeks he is in major depression. Kept saying he was gonna come get the rest of his stuff on such and such day and then that day would come and he would say oh next week or another day. Doesnt really talk to me aside from what is going on with the kids and blah blah.
On Wednesday he started to open up and talk about his FEELINGS which blew me because he hasnt talked of his FEELINGS or FELT anything for months. He said he missed me and the kids and that he loved us. He knew that he needed help and where to go for help but.....And he couldnt finish it. I assume that he is afraid. We spent some very good time talking about life and he said he just wanted to be happy. I told him that only he could do that. He went on to say that he couldnt just show up at the house with the kids that that was gonna take work. I assumed he was taking about coming home.
Now today I talked to him while picking up our daughter and the story has changed AGAIN. Now he said that in a couple of weeks he was getting his own place and that he needed the baby's crib and he was coming for the rest of his stuff. I CANT BELIEVE THIS BACKSTEP!!! I really thought he was starting to see the light because he missed his family. And now we are back to square one???? I dont get it. One minute he is telling me how much he loves me and that and now he is making another decision to go another direction instead of putting his family back together.
This is killing me. I really thought I was getting better and now today this....I dont know what to make of it. He seemed so angry when I spoke to him. I dont understand this behavior....Please somebody help!!!
He also mentioned today that he was getting sick. So I wondered if he was getting ready to withdraw from his pills as he may be out until the middle of NOV.
Next two weeks he is in major depression. Kept saying he was gonna come get the rest of his stuff on such and such day and then that day would come and he would say oh next week or another day. Doesnt really talk to me aside from what is going on with the kids and blah blah.
On Wednesday he started to open up and talk about his FEELINGS which blew me because he hasnt talked of his FEELINGS or FELT anything for months. He said he missed me and the kids and that he loved us. He knew that he needed help and where to go for help but.....And he couldnt finish it. I assume that he is afraid. We spent some very good time talking about life and he said he just wanted to be happy. I told him that only he could do that. He went on to say that he couldnt just show up at the house with the kids that that was gonna take work. I assumed he was taking about coming home.
Now today I talked to him while picking up our daughter and the story has changed AGAIN. Now he said that in a couple of weeks he was getting his own place and that he needed the baby's crib and he was coming for the rest of his stuff. I CANT BELIEVE THIS BACKSTEP!!! I really thought he was starting to see the light because he missed his family. And now we are back to square one???? I dont get it. One minute he is telling me how much he loves me and that and now he is making another decision to go another direction instead of putting his family back together.
This is killing me. I really thought I was getting better and now today this....I dont know what to make of it. He seemed so angry when I spoke to him. I dont understand this behavior....Please somebody help!!!
He also mentioned today that he was getting sick. So I wondered if he was getting ready to withdraw from his pills as he may be out until the middle of NOV.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Cassandra)))
Anvil's right...go by his actions. As to why he's flip-flopping, you don't really know that he's not using something...we A's are VERY resourceful when it comes to getting something, even if we're supposed to be broke. I've seen guys (my XABF is one) who will fix something in someone's house or car for dope.
I'm not saying he IS using, but his actions make me suspect.
Keep moving forward. Get back to where you were and keep on going.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Anvil's right...go by his actions. As to why he's flip-flopping, you don't really know that he's not using something...we A's are VERY resourceful when it comes to getting something, even if we're supposed to be broke. I've seen guys (my XABF is one) who will fix something in someone's house or car for dope.
I'm not saying he IS using, but his actions make me suspect.
Keep moving forward. Get back to where you were and keep on going.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Reality......
Posts: 735
I am struggling so hard right now. I cant stop crying. I feel like I am dying inside. I cant believe this is happening. Was he lying to me about loving me and the kids and how much he missed us. were those lies. and why is he hurting me like this. i cant take this anymore.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
sweetie, you don't have to take it any more. He wasn't lying about loving you and the kids...he's just being an addict. It sucks, but the best thing to do is stay the heck away from him, as much as possible.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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