scaredykat

Not doing to well today guys. The past couple of weeks actually. I really want to drink today and just give up being sober.

Ever since i got the news about my other arm i haven't felt good emotionally or mentally. That was my biggest reason for drinking. My arms and feeling sorry for myself.

I'm actually embarrassed writing all this down being over 9 months sober. I think my HP made me sit my butt down and come on here.

I don't know what more to say. Just been really struggling lately and having a lot of stinking thinking.

Impurrfect

(((Barb)))

I'm so sorry you are going through all this physical pain. But you know, drinking isn't going to make it any better.

Maybe go back and think of the reasons why you quit drinking in the first place. If it was all that great, you wouldn't have wanted to quit, right?

Can you get to a meeting today or tonight?

I'm struggling with some after-effects of the robbery and getting hit on the head, and dealing with workman's comp dr's who can't deal with the emotional aspects (workman's comp doesn't cover that). Believe me, I've had the same thoughts...getting out of reality for just a bit. But I know it will take me all the way down, so I cling to SR, talk to my f2f friends, and I just don't pick up.

Lots of hugs and prayers coming to you!

Amy

Ananda

Scaredy....I'm sorry you are in such pain right now..physiclly and emotionally. It was recommended to me to call someone to talk with and just talk about how I feel....not on the actual reasons...cause sometimes we need to simply talk about the feelings regardless of cause or cure.

Please use ALL your support systems..Here is a start and just do everything you know to do.

I tend to limit myself when i most need to be open

(HUGS)

Horselover

I am so sorry you are feeling so low that you want to give up on the 9 months you have gotten. I can understand it, but I am sorry. I really feel the longer we have sometimes the easier it is to forget why we even got here. I agree with Amy on remembering the actual reasons you got sober. I also agree that drinking won't make it better and it won't even numb it. Drinking will make it much worse. Keep reaching out and as Ananda said, use your support system like your life depends on it because it does. Thinking and sending you hugs. Wish they weren't cyber though. I think you could use a real honest to goodness hug. (((scaredy)))

beingjenagain

Sorry you are feeling so low. Somedays it seems like this whole sobriety thing is really way too hard but when I wake up in the morning sober and clear I am so glad that I made it just one more day. On those days i get my butt to a meeting and let other people carry me. Also posting here helps me so much! Today at a meeting someone said that I may drink over 4-5 problems but when I get up the next day I have 8-9 problems! That I could relate to, nothing has ever been solved for me by drinking.
My Happy Halloween thoughts are with you.

scaredykat

Thanks guys.

Amy- I'm going to my meeting tonight. 1st we're going out to dinner and Christmas shopping. I got to get away from this Halloween crap; the kids will be banging on the door soon and i don't want to be here.

Ananda- All my AA contacts are at work right now. It's what I'd be doing if I could still work. So I'm on here.

Dee74

no need at all to feel embarrassed Barb - I'm another who sometimes gets the thoughts too

I think dealing with chronic pain - and the fear associated with that when the Dr gives us bad news - is pretty difficult for anyone to handle.

It's even more so when you're an alcoholic. The temptation to run away is strong.

Thoughts are just thoughts - you can't be hung for them - but it is important to use your support network and do every thing you can to remind yourself that you're not old Barb anymore. You can handle this sober

You and I both know drinking solves nothing Barb - and it only brings in more problems.

PM me anytime

Hugs
D

AW2486

Prayers coming your way

Hang in there

Hevyn

Me too, Scaredy, I get thoughts of drinking too - not as much lately, but they still hit me when I least expect it - especially with the holidays approaching. I was rearranging cupboards today & took down some wine & Irish Coffee glasses. I longingly thought how "lovely" a drink would taste - but I know it wouldn't be just one drink, I would be off again, into never-never land. Sending loving thoughts up your way - (you probably got hit with that snow storm, right?) Love, Joanie

tanyapmc

I get thoughts of drinking or using. I think it's because I'm an alcoholic and addict. You doing the right thing by coming here and talking about it. I'm glad your going to a meeting. I would suggest talking about it there too. If we share our "secrets" they lose their power. Hang in there and keep talking about it!

Oh, 1 more thing. I found that I had a hard time at 9 months too. But it DID get better

Astro

Lots of prayers, hugs, and support going our for you Barb. Glad to hear you're going to that meeting and using your AA tools.

Aysha

Never feel embarassed for being human Barb.
We have all been there.
Who else to tell but the ones who can relate?
I wish there was something I could do for you.
But I will be thinking of you.
And hoping you dont drink. If only for today.

scaredykat

Actually no. Only the people west of us from Kirkwood on. Margaretville got over 9". Better them then me. In the valleys we got mostly rain. My basement flooded a little from the rain. All dried up now.

Love the cat picture Chiy.

Going to dinner and my meeting now. Be back later tonight. I hope i feel better after my meeting. I hate feeling like this.

Vintersemestre

30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 180 days, 1 year and 2 years seem to be when PAWS or weaker cravings rear their ugly heads. Just tough it out for all of us.

CarolD

Prayer helps me immensley Barb

nandm

There are times when the best thing I can do when I am struggling is share my struggle with others. It seems that just letting someone else in provides relief. I hope that you have found some relief as well. We are all rooting for you.:ghug

tellus

Scaredy, no advice from me. I'm at the same place you are sobriety-wise, and for the last couple weeks those thoughts have been sneaking back into my head too. Hang in there.

Rowan

Hi Barb - I hope you had a good meeting and are feeling a little better tonight. I'm sorry you're feeling poorly, but I'm so glad you are here reaching out. It helps me when I see people I care about taking care of themselves.
Hugs and prayers going out to you.

tennis71

If your an alcoholic then it is in your nature to drink no matter what life throws at you, be it good, bad or whatever. Don't be embarrassed about having the urges or cravings.

It sounds like you have a stable support network where you are at. There is not much I can add except that I am glad to hear you are using it.

Keep moving forward and thanks for sharing!!

:praying

Pelican

I hope you're better this evening.
You are an inspiration here at SR.
We care about you!