Question about having a baby
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2
Question about having a baby
I am 28 and have been a drinker all of my 20s, started out to be social and have fun every now and then and then it turned into my favorite hobby. I didn't drink every day, but usually up to 3 times a week and I got drunk all three times. I am trying to stop because I want to get healthy. Also my husband and I are thinking of starting a family. It was fun celebrating every rhyme and reason, but I have found that now that I am officially an expert at having fun I need to try my hand at other things I have aspired for myself and my future. 
I was wondering how long I should wait after quitting drinking before I consider having a baby? Or if anyone has had similar experiences? Anything you all could offer would be great, thank you.
I was wondering how long I should wait after quitting drinking before I consider having a baby? Or if anyone has had similar experiences? Anything you all could offer would be great, thank you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
Well, none of us are doctors here, but I'd say that recovery is hard and early recovery takes a lot of focus. On top of that, being pregnant can be difficult because of mood-swings and hormones. If it was me, I'd want to be sober for about a year before getting pregnant.
Well, none of us are doctors here, but I'd say that recovery is hard and early recovery takes a lot of focus. On top of that, being pregnant can be difficult because of mood-swings and hormones. If it was me, I'd want to be sober for about a year before getting pregnant.
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Originally Posted by dancinggirl 
What a beautiful gift to give your future baby...a healthy, happy, secure momma!
I'd suggest just talking to your OBGYN. Tell him/her that you're considering trying to get pregnant and you want to make sure you're good and healthy first. They will make sure you have all the appropriate tests and give you a good physical. I'd say once your doc gives you the all-clear, you're good to go.
Please, please, please, though, do not ever drink once you get pregnant. Be sure you can stick to sobriety for 9 months before you embark on that journey.
(Longer if you're going to breastfeed!!)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 113
Have a look at alchohol fetal syndrome.
The problems it cause your baby and your relationship could be huge.
Totally not judging in you, but a baby with this condition would be really hard work. Not to mention you would never forgive yourself.
Medics are also able to spot babies with this condition straight off, as they have distinctive physical defects including abnormal eyesight and facial features. They are also mentally impaired aswell. This can range from mild to severe.
Good luck
B
x
The problems it cause your baby and your relationship could be huge.
Totally not judging in you, but a baby with this condition would be really hard work. Not to mention you would never forgive yourself.
Medics are also able to spot babies with this condition straight off, as they have distinctive physical defects including abnormal eyesight and facial features. They are also mentally impaired aswell. This can range from mild to severe.
Good luck
B
x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hi and welcome to SR! I have been in recovery for a little over a year and my husband and I are just starting to consider trying for another baby. If I was younger, I would wait even longer. I would say the best advice would be, as already said, to see your OB/GYN and make sure your body is ready for pregnancy and then I would try to wait a year if you can.
The best gift you can give your baby is a healthy start in life and a sober parent!
Good luck!
The best gift you can give your baby is a healthy start in life and a sober parent!
Good luck!
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Oh boy - I'm going to get in trouble here!
I started drinking at 14 and had 4 perfectly healthy children by the time I was 35. Two of my pregnancies were happy accidents. And I drank during the first 2 months before I knew I was pregnant. I drank pretty heavily - margaritas on the weekends, wine every day. I was a very functional alcoholic. I would never, ever put my children through that now.
My other 2 children were "planned" and I quit drinking when I found out I was pregnant - so 2-4 glasses of wine nightly until I found out was pregnant and then stopped cold turkey.
I nursed all 4 of my kids for 6 months each and had the occassional evening where I "pumped and dumped" and gave them frozen breast milk to allow me to drink.
I wouldn't suggest it's a good idea to do it the way I did. If I had it to do over again, I'd definitely change my actions.
However, the truth is, all of my children and beautiful, at the top of their class, and perfectly healthy.
I am writing here just to keep some perspective. If you do get pregnant sonner than you were planning and you happened to have had a few drinks, do not start giving into the temptation to panic and grieve and worry. Enjoy your pregnany. It's a wonderful and beautiful time in your life. Don't ruin it because you're worried you didn't wait long enough or you had a drink in the early weeks.
Anxiety can be debilitating. And my understanding of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is that it occurs when there is chronic abuse of alcohol throughout the length of the pregnancy. I would bet that although your doctor would feel that you should not drink, she would also tell you to relax and not worry at all if you had drank before you knew you were pregnant or if you had a glass of wine to celebrate your birthday when you were 7 months pregnant.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't think this through very seriously. And I think the biggest issue is whether or not you know that you are capable of staying sober for your pregnancy and throughout nursing. And even beyond that, really, because no one wants to have a drunk mom.
So I hope that you and your husband think deeply about whether or not you are ready to be responsible and loving parents. And then once you know that about yourself and you get the go-ahead from your doctor, I wish you all the luck and fun in the world! It's a wonderful time in your life.
Sorry for the length.....
I started drinking at 14 and had 4 perfectly healthy children by the time I was 35. Two of my pregnancies were happy accidents. And I drank during the first 2 months before I knew I was pregnant. I drank pretty heavily - margaritas on the weekends, wine every day. I was a very functional alcoholic. I would never, ever put my children through that now.
My other 2 children were "planned" and I quit drinking when I found out I was pregnant - so 2-4 glasses of wine nightly until I found out was pregnant and then stopped cold turkey.
I nursed all 4 of my kids for 6 months each and had the occassional evening where I "pumped and dumped" and gave them frozen breast milk to allow me to drink.
I wouldn't suggest it's a good idea to do it the way I did. If I had it to do over again, I'd definitely change my actions.
However, the truth is, all of my children and beautiful, at the top of their class, and perfectly healthy.
I am writing here just to keep some perspective. If you do get pregnant sonner than you were planning and you happened to have had a few drinks, do not start giving into the temptation to panic and grieve and worry. Enjoy your pregnany. It's a wonderful and beautiful time in your life. Don't ruin it because you're worried you didn't wait long enough or you had a drink in the early weeks.
Anxiety can be debilitating. And my understanding of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is that it occurs when there is chronic abuse of alcohol throughout the length of the pregnancy. I would bet that although your doctor would feel that you should not drink, she would also tell you to relax and not worry at all if you had drank before you knew you were pregnant or if you had a glass of wine to celebrate your birthday when you were 7 months pregnant.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't think this through very seriously. And I think the biggest issue is whether or not you know that you are capable of staying sober for your pregnancy and throughout nursing. And even beyond that, really, because no one wants to have a drunk mom.
So I hope that you and your husband think deeply about whether or not you are ready to be responsible and loving parents. And then once you know that about yourself and you get the go-ahead from your doctor, I wish you all the luck and fun in the world! It's a wonderful time in your life.
Sorry for the length.....
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: England
Posts: 357
I'm pregnant now, and I'm 23 months sober. The best thing I did was to discuss it with my sponsor - the person who knows me best and knows how strong my 'recovery' is. Its a personal thing, but the general advice I got was to wait 12-24 months, until I was definitely 'stable' in my recovery.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR and our newcomers forum!:ghug
I think it is awesome that you are thinking ahead about pregnancy and alcohol. Unfortunately, I was not so wise. I did not stop drinking until the morning sickness set in and I realized I was pregnant. Then I still drank some in my second and third pregnancies although I slowed way down. I am very fortunate that other than lower birth weights my children were all fine. The only thing that can be linked to the alcohol would be that my middle daughter was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder when she was a pre-teen. It is linked to alcohol use and usually at least one parent is an alcoholic. She is the pregnancy that I drank the most with. My first one I was way to sick to drink or smoke. Fortunately, she has outgrown the disorder or learned how to manage it. Over 50% of children diagnosed with it wind up in jail. I am thankful that you are being so responsible. I wish you the best.
I think it is awesome that you are thinking ahead about pregnancy and alcohol. Unfortunately, I was not so wise. I did not stop drinking until the morning sickness set in and I realized I was pregnant. Then I still drank some in my second and third pregnancies although I slowed way down. I am very fortunate that other than lower birth weights my children were all fine. The only thing that can be linked to the alcohol would be that my middle daughter was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder when she was a pre-teen. It is linked to alcohol use and usually at least one parent is an alcoholic. She is the pregnancy that I drank the most with. My first one I was way to sick to drink or smoke. Fortunately, she has outgrown the disorder or learned how to manage it. Over 50% of children diagnosed with it wind up in jail. I am thankful that you are being so responsible. I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 217
You've gotten some good advice here. I just thought I would add my two cents. I am a teacher and have had many occasions to deal with alcohol sydrome babies. I also think it is best to get the advice of your doctor. Everyone is different. I just know that the kids who I have taught that are affected have a very difficult time in school. You are to be commended for thinking about it. Good Luck!!! I hope everything works out fine.
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