stillsearching

Well, it barely lasted 2 months. I had suspected he was drinking again as his behavior quickly changed back to what it was like when he was drinking. Well, yesterday I dropped our daughter off to meet him for supper, my oder daughter went with to supervise as agreed upon. Well, he showed up 20 minutes late and I had suspected he had been drinking. He was suppose to drop the girls off, but I had a gut feeling. So I drove back home and got his spare car key, went back to the resturant and checked the gym bag he keeps in his car....there it was in a nice brown paper bag, a bottle of whiskey.
Nice job.....it's so sad to watch someone throw his life down the drain....my heart breaks for him and my youngest...but it is his choice, he had all the tools handed to him...and he didn't want to take them. So, be arrested by his own dept for OWI, losing his family...none of it compares to the bottle...

herewego

It was really helpful for me to listen to cd's I checked out through my alanon center.
Relapse can be a part of the recovery process. Don't have any expectations. You do sound like you have lovingly detached. Detaching in a gentle manner helps greatly in your recovery
Live and let live (don't go looking for the empty bottles) its his choice.

Stubborn1

Been there done that. That's why I just told mine to stay out of our lives. He knew he was guillty, he knew I coudl make his life hell. I told him my MAIN goal is to keep our children safe no matter what I had to do.
He's an arse and your kids deserve better and so do you. The longer you are away from him the easier it gets.
Children have a way adapting and teaching us.
I have to agree to not look for alcohol. They come up with some crazy hiding places. My ah even hid a full bottle under his spare tire that was wired under his truck. Talk about desperate, in the attic..........it's not in my house now because he's not here.
Now he's in the hospital trying to detox at 46 years old and he's in bad shape. I left him alone so he had no one to blame but himself, he checked himself in after seven years of this crap.
Live as if he is already dead. Sounds harsh but it works for your recovery.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))

FormerDoormat

When I went looking for pain by going through Richard's things to verify whether he'd been drinking, I found it. I find that I no longer have to be right; I just have to be willing to accept what is. Richard was an alcoholic. He drank. The only way for me to find peace was to end the relationship. I'm happy today.