This moment
believer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
This moment
You know. Life has been really hard. Even today, i had one of the worse days. In my past, a very recent one, i chose to victimize. And to feel sorry for myself. That has one ending. And i don't want that for my film.
I lied down on the floor with a knife on my stomach today. I cried, called out for God. And then i realized the God in us. I got up.
I felt such closeness to myself, compassion for my own spirit, a will to live bigger than ever.
You know what i felt? I felt give the guy a break. That enemy of myself is dying and soon will be dead.
I'm very lost, and very afraid. I know very little right now. But in every moment from now on, i'll remember i have a choice in everything i do. And that choice is to love myself no matter what exists here or beyond.
I don't know what else is gonna happen. But what i know is that no matter what happens, as long as i have myself to live for, i will do so. I love my family, i love my boyfriend but more than the love i have for them, is the love i have for having this moment.
And i love that. I have this moment. I can do with it what i want.
For the first time i feel i have roots. That something is being built. I have a future now.
I wish i could hug myself. But i guess what i am doing is that.
I could feel destroyed and devastated, but i won't. I rather cook some steak and feel pleasure in being able to do such a simple thing to give me joy.
I could stay here and be neurotic about a million things, wonder about this or that. Why? Who said it has to be that way?
Life is so much simpler. And in the end i forgot all my power. Why not give your power to you? Why not?
Even with every thing that can happen in this world, I know in me there is greatness. That greatness is my chance to make this moment mine. Why give this moment to the past or to less positive things. No. Greatness is filling my life with the best. And the best is my best, not the world's best.
No matter what happens, i'll be ok, i'll be living.
thank you, glad to share
N
I lied down on the floor with a knife on my stomach today. I cried, called out for God. And then i realized the God in us. I got up.
I felt such closeness to myself, compassion for my own spirit, a will to live bigger than ever.
You know what i felt? I felt give the guy a break. That enemy of myself is dying and soon will be dead.
I'm very lost, and very afraid. I know very little right now. But in every moment from now on, i'll remember i have a choice in everything i do. And that choice is to love myself no matter what exists here or beyond.
I don't know what else is gonna happen. But what i know is that no matter what happens, as long as i have myself to live for, i will do so. I love my family, i love my boyfriend but more than the love i have for them, is the love i have for having this moment.
And i love that. I have this moment. I can do with it what i want.
For the first time i feel i have roots. That something is being built. I have a future now.
I wish i could hug myself. But i guess what i am doing is that.
I could feel destroyed and devastated, but i won't. I rather cook some steak and feel pleasure in being able to do such a simple thing to give me joy.
I could stay here and be neurotic about a million things, wonder about this or that. Why? Who said it has to be that way?
Life is so much simpler. And in the end i forgot all my power. Why not give your power to you? Why not?
Even with every thing that can happen in this world, I know in me there is greatness. That greatness is my chance to make this moment mine. Why give this moment to the past or to less positive things. No. Greatness is filling my life with the best. And the best is my best, not the world's best.
No matter what happens, i'll be ok, i'll be living.
thank you, glad to share
N
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Nuno,
You will be okay, you really will.
You are finding your way through life's ups and downs. I know it's not easy, but you are moving forward. Learning to be your own best friend is the best gift you can give yourself.
You will be okay, you really will.
You are finding your way through life's ups and downs. I know it's not easy, but you are moving forward. Learning to be your own best friend is the best gift you can give yourself.
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