LucyA

Well, all I need to do today is pack for our trip tomorrow, I should have known it wouldn’t all go smoothly but that’s life eh?

Joe decided he wanted to borrow his dads camera to take with him, so he called round and asked for it.

When he came back he was smiling, so I asked for a look at the camera, he carried on smiling, and said he hadn’t got it. He said his dads been drinking, he can tell, so I asked how and he said I dunno but I can tell (I know exactly what he means, there are subtle differences when he’s had a drink) and he said his dad had been horrible to him.

So, anyway, I just reminded Joe that only last night he’d said to me he thought we should all have a bit of faith in his dad as he thought he was really trying this time. I didn’t say if I did or didn’t have faith in my brother, but I did say he’d do what he was going to do whether we had faith in him or not.

Back to today, Joe said he’s done with his dad now, he doesn’t ever want anything to do with him again, and he doesn’t care what he does to himself. I’ve asked him before, and I asked him again this morning, not to make himself any promises like that and told him he doesn’t have to see his dad if he doesn’t want to, but that in the future he may feel different again. He says it makes it easier to deal with if he tells himself he doesn’t care, and I really understand that.

Six months ago after something like this Joe would have come back crying and shouting about how evil his dad was and asking why he didn’t care, and I would have been fizzing and would have gone to see him and rip into him about how he’s affecting Joe.

Today Joe and I chatted quietly and calmly and I think we both know where were at for today.

It really does get easier if you let it. But I couldn’t have got to this point without SR, and I couldn’t have helped Joe without you either.

LucyA

I forgot to add the most important bit.

Joe said to me, I know I'm a good lad and I know it's not me he hates really, I think he hates himself and he takes it out on me.

How sad for an 11 year old to come to that realisation.
I'm so proud of the way he's handling himself at the moment though.

ANGELINA243

How very true that is for most alcoholics......I'm glad to hear that both you and Joe are doing better.

sslusser

Do you hear that? Thats the sound of a cycle breaking. What a beautiful sound.

denny57

((( )))s to Lucy and Joe. Have a great trip!

LucyA

That brought tears to my eyes, yes you're right, it is beautiful. When I think back to how Joe used to be not so long ago I realise just how far he's come and how much he's had to bear. Not only his dads alcoholism, but losing his mum, the abuse, the whole family being caught up in the madness of drink, dad in hospital, moving here and having to fit in, all of it.

LucyA

This trip is so special to me, although Joes lived here a while it's going to be the first time we've all been together for a whole week 24/7.

Usually the boys are at school, and Joe is at a different one to my boys. I work shifts and weekends my boys go to their dads house. So, hopefully some extra bonding might take place. Whatever happens it's going to be a break from the norm.


I'm so ecxited

peaceteach

Lucy,

It's so great you are planning something positive for all of you to look forward to. Life needs to go on, even in the face of alcoholism. It's called "normal"

Have a great time.

Impurrfect

(((Lucy)))

It is so neat to watch you and Joe get better and better. I appreciate you taking us along your journey, because it reminds me that we all struggle, but as long as we keep the focus on us, it works out.

You are an amazing aunt, mom, daughter, and sister. I hope you and the boys have an awesome time on your trip.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy