Wife in Detox

Old 10-21-2008, 02:41 PM
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Wife in Detox

After a long battle with alcohol addiction, my wife finally reached her "rock bottom" (i hope) and last thursday flew to miami to enter detox. From there she will attend an inpatient recovery program for 30 days. She calls twice a day from detox and the past few days she has seemed "out of it". Whatever medication they are giving her has caused her to act like she did when she was drinking (combative, short-tempered, slurred speech, forgetfullness, etc).

My question is, should I continue taking her phone calls or should I wait until she is fully sober from all medication b4 I talk to her again? I love her dearly and miss her a lot, but the past few phone calls have ended in arguments and, to be honest, have made me very angry with her.
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Old 10-21-2008, 02:46 PM
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I don't accept phone calls from combative, short-tempered people regardless if they're drunk or sober. When I accept phone calls like that it tells the caller that I accept abusive behavior.
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Old 10-21-2008, 02:51 PM
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debc,
Have you spoken with any personnel at the detox regarding this?
It does not seem that this would be helpful for either one of you.
I would call the detox and speak to someone about the phone calls.
Seems to me that she should be focusing on getting well, period.
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Old 10-21-2008, 02:57 PM
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I agree with TTOSBT. Most detoxes/rehabs have rules in place for no contact for a period of time.

I'd also suggest talking with someone in detox.
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Old 10-21-2008, 03:04 PM
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Welcome, debc, (from a NJ native) glad you're here!

Will you be going to Miami? Here in L.A. many of the detox centers have family days, etc. I sometimes speak at them as part of Al Anon.

Are you getting any support for yourself - Al Anon, therapy, etc.?

Good luck and keep posting!
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Old 10-21-2008, 03:06 PM
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she's allowed two 15 minute phone calls per day - i told her to worry about getting herself better, and stop worrying about what is going on at home - but that's easier said than done. that is why i will probably not answer the phone for a couple days.
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Old 10-21-2008, 03:09 PM
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denny, i have not yet attended an al anon meeting. i know its best i should. i was hoping to get advice/"therapy" through here as well.

i will not be going down to visit because i used my last sick day to get her to the airport last week, and i will lose my job if i take another.
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Old 10-21-2008, 03:43 PM
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Leave your answering machine on and listen that way. You do not have to return her calls.
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Old 10-21-2008, 07:58 PM
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I have learned to use the caller id or the answering machine if I am not sure about a call. Depending on what kind of message is being left I pick up or not.....

Hope you can find an Alanon meeting near you, the support is very important.
Take care of your self.
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Old 10-21-2008, 08:14 PM
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Hi debc--
I hope this is a positive turning point for your wife - and for YOU!

I second (or third??!!) the AlAnon suggestions. SR is wonderful support especially as it is avail 24/7 - but there is so much I learned at AlAnon, just basic stuff that allowed me to build a foundation for my recovery from the affects of alcoholism on me and my family. Really turned my head around.

Good luck & stick around and keep posting!!
Peace-
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Old 10-21-2008, 08:55 PM
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I am very familiar with that program. (if it is the one I am thinking of) Both my STBXRAH and his brother attended. Family is a very important aspect to the program.

I didn't speak to the counselors there, at first, becuase I didn't realize i could. But, on Day 3, I did. Very, very helpful.
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