gfireboy22

Well, here I am in the Canadian oilfields of the North, sober 1 week. I have played this game before, but I always found a way to sneak booze up here before. This time, I decided I was going 3 weeks sober no matter what. So, I passed every liquor store and got on the single engine bush plane and here I am. I have played this game before, but three weeks truly dry has never been done before. My last three weeker was close enough to a small town that we went to a restaurant one night, and a night club a week later. Other times, I may have gone ten days, but always returned with the intention of becoming a social drinker. That was like a staight 45 degree line graph. A little the first night, a bottle the next, then a bottle and a bit, etc.. I found this website by luck last week, and reading the stories makes me say Holy s@#$!!! I have done that, and that, and that. Yes, you all never got a DUI, well I did last May and I was blacked out when I was offered a lawyer. I have to go to trial this May, and I can't even afford the $7000 the lawyer wants to call in an "expect" to discuss the reality of blackouts. I mentioned my knowledge and ability to get literature, but apparently it has to be a special person with the rubber stamp who is the professional on this. I almost lost my wife(well I still might, she is at the end now), I left the house multiple times with a friend behind my wife's back to go to the bar, blacked out quite often in the last few months, pee the bed on really bad nights. I have cancelled appointments from hangovers, and even missed an important exam because I was supposed to get up at 8 AM at the hotel I was staying at, but you guessed it, still friggen spinning from the hotel bar where I was supposed to have 1 beer and go to bed. During this whole s@#$show of a life, I couldn't see the forest through the trees. I was in complete denial about having a problem, or being a full blown alcoholic. I have no chances left here. I am going home to stay sober or my wife is leaving PERIOD!! No more chances, sorry's or oops. I am also starting a new career in the city which I must be on call all the time. If I drink, I lose my new job, wife, house, and half of everything, and my 3 labrador retreivers. In a way, will power isn't even something to worry about. Ever listen to the country song"alcohol" .I heard it the other day, but never appreciated just how crappy he thinks drinking is. I always listened to it while drinking and thought, yeehaa!! he's drinkin', i'm drinkin', alcohol is cool. Yah right dummy, listen again. I did and I misunderstand what he was saying. He thinks alcohol is a life wrecker.
What felt really crappy was two weeks ago I had a nasty no drinking, shakes, dry heaves, hot flash, sweats, bad day. I didn't drink that day, and the next day I had to go to a medical for this new career. I fill out this questionnaire, and then go in this room. First thing he does is grope my personal goods(that trauma is another story). Then he wants to talk about alcohol consumption. "how many times a week" hmm maybe twice "more than 3" nope "ever more than 5" oh maybe Christmas, New Years, and a few times this Summer. "OK, sounds good, let's move on to something else"


What a load of crap, more like this " how many times a week" everyday, unless I have something darn close to DT's "more than 5" yep, usually a 26oz of vodka(that's 750ml for my metric friends), then I might move onto beer(Canadian beer, real beer by the way)

Can you imagine his jaw drop. Not only would I not have gotten the job, but he would have gone from examiner to doctor mode RIGHT NOW!!!

Anyways, it's 12 AM (-7) and I am bored. TV is rotten up here, and I have seen all my movies.
The point of all this was, I am shocked that every stupid thing I did drunk was just what everyone else has been doing. I can't say it works for everyone, but if you can go cold turkey and go somewhere for a month, your cravings go away really quick.

I also get absolutely no withdrawal symptoms either, so maybe it isn't a safe idea for other people. Why don't I get withdrawal from alcohol like others??? I have been drinking hard for 7 years, and only ever get day 1 issues. On day 2, I feel like an athlete and usually hit the gym pretty hard whistling a tune.

CarolD

I have no clue why you did not withdrawal symptoms.
Consider yourself lucky ...this could change if you drink. again. Who knows?

I giggled at your story about the doctor.
I went to a new one....who dilligently took my history

"How much liquor do you drink Mrs. D"?

"hmm...a quart or so"

"Ok...a quart a month....right?"

Wrong!
I guess he had only seen end stage alcoholism
I looked fine at middle stage ..but
I felt my brain slipping away.

Glad you checked in....and Yes! you too can win over alcohol.

kinpaul90

Hi and thanks for your story, glad to hear you are admitting you have a problem.

What I wanted to bring up was the withdrawal symptoms, I myself have drank heavily for the last ten years, the last year I thought I could control it, and like you i could stop for a month with only a one or two day hangover, then last friday after a ten day binge I decided to quit and then it hit me, friday morning i started to get the shakes, had them before so not to worry, then the insomnia and the shakes started to get worse, by saturday night I couldn't hold a knife or a fork let alone a glass.

I found this site and after reading the dangers of cold turkey I made myself go to the a&e, I mean this was bad, starting to hallucinate and hear things, let alone the shakes were terrible by this point.
Cut a long story short, I spent from 6 pm till 4 am in the hospital having intravenous vitamins and fluids, and also a course of drugs to control the dt's, they also took blood and did an ecg.
Luckily I know this never hit full blown delirium tremens, but the doc said without treatment it could have.

Please keep a check on yourself while you are detoxing as I never thought this would happen to me.

Good luck with the detox though.

Pelican

Hey gfire,
Glad your first week has gone well. I don't know why you did not have withdrawal symptoms either, but you are lucky.

We are here to support you in you efforts. You can do the 3 weeks! You have a lot to loose if you don't go home completely sober. Wife, job, home, but especially the dogs! Lots of pet lovers here!

You will need a great plan for staying sober when you get home. Have you considered AA, counseling, changing routines?

Keep us posted on your progress. You can do this!

gfireboy22

I'm a boredom alcoholic. I have had way too much time off over the years. I used to work shifts and get 5 days off after working 3. Now is even worse, because I could work in the bush for 2 weeks, but get 3 weeks off. This new job will have me working every second day, so I am not too worried. I guess there are different types of alcoholism, because if you keep me working, or busy I'm fine. It's only when you give me extended periods off that I get cravings. As for a plan when I get home, yes I have a plan. Everytime I think I can just sneak up to the liquor store, I am going to look at my dogs, my house, my boat, my trailer, my furniture, and my nice neighborhood. Now, I am going to imagine my wife with suitcases, my dogs getting in the car, and a lawyer calling me. I am going to imagine my half of the stuff in storage, my wife gone, and me in an apartment with no real estate ownership. I am going to remember that if I drink this WILL happen, not MIGHT happen. That should pretty much handle the cravings.

Crazy8Canuck

I am glad you have a plan for avoiding the cravings and the next bender, but as a canadian as well that knows the greatness of the beer I am curious....does your wife know your concerns? Ionly ask because like you I quit drinking because she basically told me 10 yrs ago....its me or the booze....I am still very much with her and I quit smoking in 2001 and gambling in 2001 as well. I spent the past 8 yrs fighting a medical issue and ended up hooked on pain pills os now I am on day 6 of kicking this new addiction. I figure if I can win 1 day of sobriety I am doing great and without my wife this round would have been unbearable. I spent the past 6 days puking, crying, shaking, fluids from everywhere and drinking water like it was going out of style, but she was with me every painful step. I still feel like crap and can hardly hold a spoon, but I have her. I can give you lots of advice on what not to do or the AA party line stuff (which is good too), but the biggest thing I can say is you best tool in fighting alcoholism is your wife...she loves you or she would be gone already....you have a friend an an ally there and you will be okay with her support and working together.

Best of luck to you and keep posting,

Chuck (BC boy)

Anna

Hi,

It sounds like you know you need to make a big change now and begin your sober life. Getting a start with three weeks out in the oilfield is great and you can continue your sober life when you return home. Stay focused on your sobriety and know that alcoholism can and will mess with your mind. It's not uncommon for the disease to rear its head, when it knows that its days are numbered. I'm glad you have a good plan!

gfireboy22

Hi Chuck, I grew up in North Delta, and other parts of the valley. I moved to Alberta almost 2 years ago. The money here makes $20 an hour look like minimum wage, plus it's sunny a lot. I'll take the sun and cold over rain any day.

It's pretty easy not drinking when you can't. We will have to see how I feel passing the liquor store near my house though. I even thought to myself, hmmm, what if I get off the vodka and just drink beer again. I know from the last thousand times that it will just take me back to my old habits though. I am going to miss you my old friend.

Crazy8Canuck

Just a suggestion....stop at Safeway on the way home....grab a bottle of Apple Grape juice...its in the chip isle, and looks like a wine bottle....has a cork and everything...I usually try and bounce it off the roof at my wife...anyhow.... grab some strawberries, watermelons or whatever fruit you like and get home...set it all up with supper....that you cook don't buy take out...sit down with your wife and let her know how greatful you are for her putting up with you and make it a weekly time just for the 2 of you. My wife have done this for 10 years....that was how my first day of sobriety from alcohol went and what I did last week when I said bye bye to the pills.

She is your best friend and the only one that will be with you through good and bad times. Don't let her go. Not many women are strong enough to take on a drunk as a husband, lover and friend...stop thinking of a day when her and the dogs are leaving and think of the 2 of you enjoying life with each other...and its still not going to be perfect...hell my wife and I get into some wild tiffs, but we are both sober and can hug later instaed of her having to sober me up or call the police.

Living in RD is a place ripe with booze options....I wish you luck.

Chuck

gfireboy22

Huh, we actually don't do Safeway in Alberta. Our big store is Sobey's. Sobey's has the same frilly inside as Save on Foods and crappy prices. We also have Extra Foods and 1 Superstore. I think we might have 1 Safeway somewhere, but who knows where? We do have 2 Save on Foods, but they are way off the beaten path. I was surprised to see old Jimmy bring his store to Alberta actually.I just talked to my wife, and she absolutely does not believe me. I knew she wouldn't because I'm a broken record. The major difference this time is that I am giving up all forms of alcohol. Every other time, I just meant I would keep it low key,and make some serious cut downs. It has taken three thousand times, but I finally figured out that I can't even have 1 drink of anything, ever. I think it was this website that made me realize that when you are a drunk, you can't moderate, and that's what makes me an alcoholic. If I could moderate, then I guess I wouldn't be a drunk.

least

And if the situation didn't worry you, you wouldn't be here. I agree, you need a strong plan for continuing sobriety. Some people aren't bothered around alcohol after stopping drinking, but most of us have to stay away from it, at least for a while.

My kids didn't believe me either the last few times I 'quit'. They'd seen me break promises too many times. I quit anyway, and this last time 'is' my 'last time'. Now that I've got some good sober time (100 days) they are beginning to trust me again. So whether your wife believes you or not, do it anyway. After a while she'll have to notice your abstinence.

Do it for you, and she'll have to notice your improvement. Be patient. Remember alcohol is patient too. It'll wait to lay you low until you let it back in. So stay sober, one day at a time, and don't think so much of rewards from others, but more like your health getting better. Being healthier is a great incentive to stay sober. Not feeling like sh!t all the time really motivates me!

You can do this. Have a good plan. Work your own program. Be the person you'd like to be friends with. Your wife will notice, but more importantly, YOU will notice the difference.

All the best to you!

:ghug3

TTOSBT

Welcome!
You definitely have every reason to stay sober but as you know, this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful.
Keep reading and posting here!
You might also want to start reading in your bored time

Big Book On Line

That is all you have to do...do not drink today!