sheerterror

Hi everyone, i am a newcomer to this site, I am in desperate need of advice and support, Today is going to be a long day with my addicted.
It's been a 3 year battle with him and i'm losing it very slowly. Today, I won't be able to get him pills, why? cause i don't want to. Fair enough right?
I don't dare tell him that, i'm sure he'll find another way. But if not, i will be called to rescue him from his depression and he'll be over the edge.
He also suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder so it's a double whammy of intense emotinal ups and downs.

His family knows nothing of his BPD or addiction so i'm on my own.
I am an enabler, co-dependant in all aspects.
I'm afraid he will commit suicide and not be there for our daughter,
I am his only support it seems, he refuses to take his meds for his BPD which increases the Substance abuse. I've tried, he doesn't listen.
But today, it's gonna be a doozy, i'm trying to get myself mentally prepared for this evening but i'm exhausted already and he has only called once.

Dealing with the BPD and the pills is such a hard thing to do, he has only seen his Concurrent disorder doctor once and feels that the Subutex is too much money so he feels he can't be helped, but does he really want help?

I'm freaking out!:wtf2

Julesy

It seems you really need some professional help. This is too much for you to handle on your own. Keep posting here as there are many people here who have excellent advice.

denny57

Welcome!

Once I reached out and told others what I was going through, the shame lifted and I was touched and empowered by those who stepped up to help me. It doesn't have to be his family - who do you have to support you?

Keep posting!

sheerterror

Yah, i thought so too, i can't deal with this alone, thank you

sheerterror

I have a mutual friend of ours, but i can't tell him we talk cause he would look at it as an "indecretion" or that i'm fooling around with him. It's touch no doubt about it. But i'm so glad i found this site.

sheerterror

Does anyone have any experience with Concurrent Disorders?

I'm aware that the drugs have to go before the BPD can be treated but he sees the drugs as saving him from himself, even though from this side it's making the BPD much worse, especially when he can't have the drug. He will lose his job tommorrow if he doesn't get pills to go to work with, i know this, but i'm prepared to stand my ground today. Hopefully within a few weeks he'll be okay enough to admit he can't deal with the BPD without treatment and by covering it up with the pills.

Freedom1990

I couldn't even begin to deal with my clinical depression issues until I addressed my addiction issues.

It took a 30 day rehab to get me started on the right path.