lauramac

Hello. I have finally accepted that I have a problem with alcohol and that I want to do something about it. Four days is my record without a drink and its been that way for a number of years now. I am scared of failing, and what it will do to my husband, and my kids if I do. Its not even been 1 day yet. Determination turns to desire and then desperation so quickly.

Horselover

So glad you came to SR Laura. Congratulations on your 19 well deserved sober hours. How did you do the 4 days before? What triggered you back to the alcohol? What kind of drinking history do you have? Can you detox safely without medical help? I know, so many questions, but to help we need some background. I know what you mean about letting people down, but what helps is to find a plan for sobriety and stick to it with all your heart. Whatever it takes. I am sure you will find a lot of support here Laura and I, again, am very glad you came here.

:ghug3

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community...

Blessings to you and your family

lauramac

Thanks for the kind words. I am fortunate in that I live in a very small village, without a shop. The nearest town is 20 minutes away, and that only has three outlets that sell alcohol. My weapon of choice is whiskey, and living in a small community, its difficult to buy it on a regular basis without been obvious. The four days dry was hard work. Twice I found myself sitting in the car, about to drive to the nearest supermarket half an hour away, just to buy whiskey but on both occasions I managed to talk myself out of it. Then I did the weekly shop lost my willpower and four days good work went down the drain. I have always been a social drinker and a weekend binge drinker. But for the last two years I have been a secret drinker too, drinking anything from half a bottle to a whole bottle of whiskey a day. I have a couple of days off now and again, usually to recover from a hangover, swear I will never touch the stuff again, and within 48 hours I am back at it.

NewDayNow

Hi Laura,

I was also a secret drinker. I've found SR very helpful. Glad your here.

Ed

adore79

Welcome Laura.

espresso

Hi Laura and Welcome to SR. It's a great place to get help if you think you have a problem. Lots of support and understanding. You are not alone. Keep posting to let us know how you are.

Pelican

Welcome to SR Laura!

Keep reading and posting. There is support and information here for you. Read some of the stickies at the top of each section and you will learn what you can expect and how others have been able to get sober.

Glad you are here!

flutter

Welcome Laura!

Boy do I know the feeling of getting in the car, ready to go buy my liquor and then fighting with myself. The alcoholic voice usually won, but doesn't it feel 10000's of times better when it doesn't We're here for you, you'll love the support you receive here!!

TryingSoHard

Hi Laura,

I have been there and done that, too. You are definitely not alone, and I hope you will be as grateful to have found SR as I have been. There is truly a fantastic support network here. Keep reading, and when you're struggling, please post so we can help you through it.

Congratulations on recognizing your problem.

lauramac

I am really proud of myself, I have now been dry for three days. Today has been really rough though. All I can think about is drinking. Right now I am craving a drink. But I am proud of myself because I drove past two shops this afternoon without weakening. I have often managed to fight the urge when passing the first shop, then panic and stop at the second shop and buy whiskey, often opening the bottle as I pull into the drive when I get home and finishing it within an hour, drinking straight from the bottle in secret. Always a 30cl bottle a day, a couple of times a week a 70cl bottle (I found that if I bought a 70cl bottle I kept on drinking until it had gone and I was visibly drunk, so I tried to limit myself to 30cl bottles topped off with red wine in the evening when husband was home)

I have a constant headache, and feel edgy and tense, but apart from that seem to be ok physically. Everyone on SR is really supportive and every time I get the urge to drink I think of everyone on here and how hard they are trying AND succeeding to stay sober and it gives me the strength to fight the urge. Not looking forward to the weekend though. Weekends were always a free for all with me and alcohol, no school runs, two lie ins in a row, loads of social drinking situations....

Pelican

Glad to see you here again and still sober! You are doing great.

Start planning for success not failure this weekend. Plan your activities, focus, focus, focus on staying sober. Always have a non-alcoholic beverage available.

You will feel so much better physically and emotionally when you get through your first weekend sober!