Chrysalis123

My XAH was in the driveway, picking up one of our kids for parenting time. Lots of emotional issues within the kids due to the divorce and his alcoholism. He refuses to acknowledge the issues the kids are having. In fact one kid refuses to be with him and the other sibling because that kid doesn't feel safe (kids are in counseling thank goodness) One kid is having a major meltdown, is incredibly rude and inappropriate to me. He has a look of glee on his face. He doesn't correct the child, so I do, and send child for a time out and a task of writing all the things that kid is grateful for about me. I then go back to work at my desk and the window is open. I hear him urinating in my gravel/dirt driveway!!!!!!!! I go out and he lies about it. I asked who left that wet spot? I asked him to get off the property and he refused so I threatened to call the cops. He left. I feel sick inside, and it is so hard to detach when our precious children are being emotionally abused by him. Thanks for listening.

baileyboop

Oh wow..I'm sorry to hear this is happening. More manipulation it seems. I am recently divorced with two children as well. My XAH is blames all of it on me(of course). My oldest is having a real hard time with it, and sh is refusing to go to counseling. I am going to keep trying though. Keep the faith. Even though it is a rough patch, you have already survived so many of them. I hope it gets a little easier for you soon...

lizw

No offence intend but that is friggin funny. It reminds me of something a five year old boy would do! And saying a five year old rather than a toddler is being generous.

Barbara52

Sorry he is being such an azz. I am glad to hear the kids are in counselling. In the long run, they will be fine and things will calm down for you also.

Stubborn1

I would have taken his pillow outside and pee'd on it or shoved some sardines in it. lol
Sorry you are going through this. They really are messed up. (ah's)

Freedom1990

Maybe you could set a litter box outside with cat litter in it for him next time with his name painted on the side?

baileyboop

That is a very good idea, Freedom 1990. : 0

Chrysalis123

You people are cracking me up!!:rotfxko

My momentary lapse into codie land has now been mopped up (pun intended) and I am seriously thinking about the cat litter box..... what do you think????

Thanks for the support.

HateBooze

Sounds a lot like my father. The best thing my mom did was to leave him- left the state. He threatened to burn down the house - with my momma, grandma, and baby sister in it. He tried to kill my momma twice- the dog saved her. She had bad rheumatoid arthritis but we still left-with nothing. Best thing she coulda done. We could no longer take the supervised visitation......you are not alone. It went from booze to coke.
He peed all over the lawn, too, to kill the grass. Mom caught him. There is the real definition of ********.
Good luck. You aren't alone. Put you and the kids first. She saved me or I might be like him today...or not here at all.

HateBooze

too funny.

veryrestless722

well be glad he peed outside, i woke up one night when i was still with my Xah and he was standing in front of the window blinds just peeing away, totally flooded the floor

HateBooze

omg!:wtf2

HateBooze

oops

veryrestless722

well i was grateful he at least got up to pee and didnt pee in the bed

Stubborn1

Talk about making lemonade from lemons. I think it's great we can see a bit of humor in their ridiculousness. I still think putting them all on one island is a wonderful idea.

FormerDoormat

If someone came to my home and relieved themselves in public--which is not only unacceptable, it's against the law--I would ask them to leave and never allow them to set foot on my property again. Problem solved.

I can't change an alcoholic's behavior to prevent a recurrence, but I can certainly change mine. Can you exchange the children in neutral territory?

lizw

I knew this guy once who's idea of a party trick was to flop it out and pee in the middle of the lounge, where ever the party was being held.

Alcoholic of course too.

Thankfully I am not one to have had a partner who pee's the bed because of their drinking. But it happens.

I'm unsure how much I'd be laughing then though.....

Chrysalis123

Thanks for your replies everyone. I have known this man for 20 years and in the beginning when we were in our early 20's he did urinate in the house because in his drunkeness he thought he was in the bathroom. In typical codependent fashion I felt shame and then went into denial. Fast forward to now and yes this late 40's man is acting like a beligerant 5 year old. In the beginning of the seperation I was extremely generous in his access to the kids and the home. As his behavior deteriorated I set boundaries ie. no more in the house, only on the deck. Nope not on the deck, only on the downstairs patio, Nope, now only in the driveway. Since urinating on my driveway he is now allowed to park on the street. Of course i am the big bad wicked witch...but I know I am getting healthier because that doesn't bother me in the least!!!

I have thought about a neutral exchange spot but for now it is impossible.

I feel like this was some sort of defiance or power move. You know how dogs pee on what they believe to be theirs? He built this house, we co-own it until the youngest graduates from HS, and so therefore he was going to show me....unfortunately for him I overheard his marking of his territory!!

Jadmack25

My abf did pee the bed. He was very disoriented and said "sorry didn't mean to do that, but bed's wet so I better go home", dressed and walked out the door.
Few minutes later a bewildered abf returned, (by which time I was dressed), said "this is my place, why did I go out?"
Told him yes it was HIS place and I was going home to mine and he'd have to strip his bed and sleep somewhere else for rest of the night, because he had wet it. I went home and left him to it.
Next day was asked why I hadn't helped him with the bed etc.
Not MY bed, not MY pee, not MY problem.