nowwhat

My BF is having a very rough week emotionally and is withdrawn.

I don't have any (rational) reason to think this has anything to do with me: we haven't fought, no weirdness, plenty of contact.

But I have been feeling totally anxious, on verge of panic attack anxious, all week.

I feel like I don't even have a wavelength of my own, that the one I live in is dependent on my BF's mood, by childrens' moods and issues with people at work (mostly kids since I'm a teacher).

I have maintained a calm exterior all week, but inside I feel completely strung out. I really want to know how to get out of this pattern because it feels terrible!

I keep imagining that my BF must be tired of me, or wants to end our relationship, because of an uncharacteristic lack of warmth or interest. But objectively, he has had many difficult things to deal with in the last couple of weeks that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

How do those of you who have learned how to handle this stuff-- DO IT?

sunflowerintx

Your post reminded me of a cartoon I saw a long time ago. In the picture, the woman and man are in bed and she turns to him and asks "So, how are WE doing today?"

Sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop is no way to live. My H is moody as all get out and it certainly affected the entire family. BUT, according to him, I set the mood. In all honesty, I am pretty even keeled most of the time.

If he is making you uncomfortable this week perhaps there are some things you'd like to do while he sorts that out. I can think of a gazillion things I'd love to do but don't have a lot of cash at the moment. Are you artistic? Maybe go paint a piece of pottery. Is there a movie you've been wanting to see? A book you want to read? A long bubble bath with candles and music calling your name?

Take care of you.

Hugs,
Sunny

lizw

I have this same thing except when I first began to notice it, I thought it only involved my other half and but these days for me for whatever reason I just wake up with it.

I assume it is another left over childhood thing. I.e. unable to relax, living in a continual state of panic ..etc..

Like was suggest the cure for it for me is to do nice things for myself, focus on myself and live in the moment.

cmc

I learn how to handle all the stuff of life by trusting my HP, going to Al-Anon and coming here to SR.

I also had some counseling many years ago where I learned how to maintain a sense of professionalism as a teacher and person working in a church ministry. I was fine in those areas but my family of origin and my own family were another story. That is where and when I first learned about my control issues and inability to mentally and emotionally detach from things that are out of my control and/or none of my business.