lotdot19

Okay so I was dating a substance abuser for about a month. I know that does not seem long, but when you see the person everyday it feels longer. We both shared a lot. So, we go to college together and whatever we both really liked each other. Over one weekend he changed. He came back to school really drunk with a known drug user (who happens to be a girl) and he totally ignored me. Next day I talked with him I was pissed. Anyway he told me he used to be bad on zanis and percs I felt like I got slapped in the face. You see my dad is an alcoholic, for as long as I can remember a binger, and my brother is trying just now to clean himself up from herion! So of course the guy I like has to be a user.

Anyway weeks go on he is with her I pretty much shoot him dirty looks, cover up my feelings. What makes me so angry is that this is NOT a normal thing. Its not like he just left me for another girl, the whole drugs thing makes it like way way worse. So he texts me after telling one of my friends how sorry he is and he messed up so bad he only wants to say sorry blah blah blah. Then he texted me saying how sorry he was and that he would love to talk to me. I was like no no no way! Anyway I said I would talk with him and then I went out that night. Came home a little tipsy and called him, got my anger out anyway. Next day he saw my friend and said i still wanna talk to her. OKAY!

See him the next week and he calls me over and says I am so sorry the girl I was talking to (other BAD addict) he is distincing himself from...whatever I was like okay well stop ignoring me and get yourself together. That night he invites me to a party, I was already out, so I was like no.

This past weekend he texts me i lost a great thing with you..i really wish I could get you back. Well I totally called that. I said I have NO trust in you MAYBe we can be friends? Then he texted me asking how I was doing..i said when we get back we can talk. So yesterday is says I will be back at 8 call you when I am back. Well BIG surprise guess who did not come back last night? (i am friends with his room mate so I know). He is here today and not a word. He even saw me and walked past. SUCH a coward. Sucks that I still hard to believe like him. I am not giving him another chance because I cannot get hurt again its too hard. This is just the worst! With school on top its difficult and I see him everywhere.

What is your advice? Should I text him something?? I know I am being such an idiot!!!! ugh!!!!!:codiepolice

justanothrdrunk

You = not dumb
Him = addict = master manipulator

Run!!!

hello-kitty

please don't text him or call him or respond to his messages or return his calls.

please please please just let him go.

no one needs friends like that. You know that old saying? With friends like him, who needs enemies... well there is truth in it.

There's another saying - the best revenge is a life well lived. Don't let his drama and addiction screw it up for you.

SlvrMag

I agree, RUN, DON'T WALK! As a recovering addict, please know that we can suck the life outta you, just ask my husband!

BBD

Oh honey~ Your in college and that should be a fun time. LET HIM GO~~~or esle you'll be sucked into his lifestyle for a long time. It's not worth it. Your there to get an education to use~~not one that will ruin your life. Hugs from a mom, Bonnie

outtolunch

May I assume this is the same guy you wrote about almost a month ago?

Please consider blocking him on your cell phone and myface.com and let it go. Nothing good is going to come out of this. This " should I or not text him thing", just prolongs the drama and hurt.

All schools have clubs/activities that focus on giving back to the community. Join a few. Meet some new people and become a part of something bigger than you and this guy. You will feel better.

lotdot19

I deleted him from my phone, good call there!! I am so so confused. I have to put up with addicts in my own family outside i have a choice i know but its sucks because I know the personality and its an addictive personality. Its just bad right now, even my friends see the HUGE change in him! Thank you all for your support I need all the advice I can get right now!!!!!!!! And, yes this is the same guy from a month ago.

HurtingDad

Way to go! You did the right thing which as we all know isn't always easy. Enjoy and take care of yourself.

rozied

Way to go, I agree with Hurtingdad. You are doing good. Try to keep busy & focus on yourself. Resist the urge to get in touch & it passes.

jerect

I agree with the others RUN.. There are so many other guys out there that you can have a healthy relationship with.. Don't text him, call him, meet him or even suggest being friends with him.. trust me you don't want someone like this in your life.

Neverwanted

When my ex fiance addict cheated on me and I caught them, it was with another addict. They spent three weeks in a drugged stupor before he woke up and realized they were using one another for drugs. My sister told me, "good for - - -! He found another addict who applauds him using! And when she has used up his supply, she will move on to another addict to score. You were an angel that fell out of the sky and he effed up the only chance he had at a relationship where someone truly cared and loved him warts and all. He will die lonely and with a belly full of drugs. They don't love one another."

That helped me get through the worst pain of my life. I was miscarrying when I drove up and caught them. He and she were screaming at me in his driveway. I was there because he wrote me a poem about love the day prior. TUrns out he met her in a pharmacy three wks earlier, gave her a ride home and they exchanged more than phone numbers.

She ended her life at the end of those three wks. The impact is still resounding.

Listen...please. This isnt about your lack of beauty, smarts or love...its about two addicts using one another. You have a right to expect better and be treated like a deserving good person. Not the carnage an active user may bring.