sailorgirl2nv

I just joined up a few days ago and I was wondering...

Does anyone ever get through this with the relationship in tack?

Is SR a way for us to work through things and be there for each other and support each other while and when the relationship ends?

I guess I am hoping someone has happy endings!

Bonnie

LucyA

Welcome sailorgirl, I can't really say much about the relationship side of things, mine is with my brother so I can only walk so far away I guess (as I'm also looking after his son)

SR is here to offer whatever you want to take from it, or whatever you want to give to it.

We've all been there in one way or another and we're here to share our experiences in the hope that they can help someone else, even if it's only to let someone know they aren't alone.

And I just wanted to say, there is more than one variation on the happy ending theme.

Ago

/agree

welcome to SR

For me, what I'm trying to learn, is how to have a "happy today" rather then a "happy ending"

Some people stay together and are happy, some stay together and are miserable

Some people break up and move on and become healthy, some break up and remain unhappy.

Some people's A's get sober, and the relationship gets worse, some people's A's get sober and it "gets better"

For me, the goal is to learn about me, what are my boundaries, what are my bottom lines, and how to have a successful relationship with myself, How can I be helpful without being codependant, how I can be a good boyfriend/husband without losing myself, to learn where I end and other people begin, if I can do that, that's my "happy ending" no matter what the future holds for me and my relationship.

Rainbowsend

You sound very much like I did when I 1st arrived here searching for some hope. The truth is there are some and no doubt they will reply later, but they are very much in the minority and it has taken many years of work to get there.

justanothrdrunk

Still married (14 years and counting), 15 months sober. Some do still stay together and are happy. I'm proof of that.

ToughChoices

I think of SR as a way for us to work through things and be there for each other as we work on our own issues.

Regardless of the relationship.

Sometimes it comes through intact and beautiful.
Sometimes it goes down the tubes.

SR's purpose, as I understand it, is to help us find joy and peace in our lives independent of the relationship and independent of the alcoholic.

Initially, this was a very difficult concept for me to grasp.
In the beginning I just wanted to know that there was a way to get the man I loved to stop drinking and still love me.

SR is not that way. (Though part of me would still be very interested to know if you find one)

-TC

blue-eyed soul

hi, sailorgirl,
i have been with my AH for 13 years (married for 10). i'm not disillusioning myself that things might get better with us, hopeful as i may be, but i am, as others mentioned above, trying to make sure things get better with me. no matter what the outcome is (and i hope it will be with him, but i know that it might not be), that way i'm going to be okay. make sense?
the folks here will not always tell you what you want to hear, but they will be straightforward with you.
best of luck in your journey ...

sailorgirl2nv

Thank you for all your answers. It has already given me encouragement and has me looking at things differently. I think when I first started looking around, I was thinking of US and not ME. I need to remember that I have to think of myself, because he isn't.

Thank you!

HateBooze

I am with you here. Life is an emotional roller coaster ... usually heading down for me. That is why I came here.
Good luck to you as I am here to find out the same!

Latte

I've been clean and sober for over a year and married for 12. We are still working on it but I think we will probably make it.

One day at a time.

denny57

I know a lot of success stories. I hear the same from them all - it took working on themselves separately to make the whole.

((( )))

LuvinMe

It's plenty of happy endings, what's important is you! Right??

veryrestless722

i come here for the support and to know im not alone in my situation

i did not get a happy ending as far as my soon to be exAH, my happy ending is really my happy begining as i will give birth to my son in about 3 weeks

Rainbowsend

Good for you, love your postivity, how exciting, keep us posted :-)