Pat on the back to SR!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Bend OR
Posts: 197
Pat on the back to SR!
I understand that this my life and they are my life choices.
As I have struggled with HIS issues for so long, I have forgotten about myself and the time I should be spending helping ME. I am taking to the time to now learn and TRY TRY TRY to exercise what I have learned on a daily basis in everyday life.
It is hard and there will be set-backs. The difference I can see right now between myself and my A is that: his recovery is not a priority in his life - in the sense that he has not taken any steps to get there, despite the constant complaining of the disease. Where as I am atleast researching, gaining knowledge and taking responsibilty for the issue that I am struggling with - Codependancy. I will commend myself for that, because I have seen growth within myself.
Yes I have obstacles and sure, I mess up sometimes, but in just the way that I think, and the way that I deal with him has come a long way since before I became a member here at SR.
I am no more the erratic emotional mess that I was before. When we have plans and he leaves me in the dust for drugs or alcohol, no more do I cry. But I am thankful that he does not come around me. I am peaceful in knowing that I am not the real reason he doesn't want to spend that time with me. That the issue is his.
I have learned to throw the ball in his court and know the difference between HIS problems and mine - and also which is the most important.
I want to thank everyone here who has dealt with me through the denial and defense process I went through I first joined. I thank you for still offering your advice even when it seemed I wasnt accepting it - maybe through this thread you can see what you all have helped me with so much! And please believe me when I tell you that it is ALL because of you this much progress has been made. I have not talked to anyone else. Only you wonderful people here at SR!
Thank you so much from me - and Im sure from many others on here....
If you would like to take the time to note the progress you have made since joining SR - it would be wonderful to hear :ghug
As I have struggled with HIS issues for so long, I have forgotten about myself and the time I should be spending helping ME. I am taking to the time to now learn and TRY TRY TRY to exercise what I have learned on a daily basis in everyday life.
It is hard and there will be set-backs. The difference I can see right now between myself and my A is that: his recovery is not a priority in his life - in the sense that he has not taken any steps to get there, despite the constant complaining of the disease. Where as I am atleast researching, gaining knowledge and taking responsibilty for the issue that I am struggling with - Codependancy. I will commend myself for that, because I have seen growth within myself.
Yes I have obstacles and sure, I mess up sometimes, but in just the way that I think, and the way that I deal with him has come a long way since before I became a member here at SR.
I am no more the erratic emotional mess that I was before. When we have plans and he leaves me in the dust for drugs or alcohol, no more do I cry. But I am thankful that he does not come around me. I am peaceful in knowing that I am not the real reason he doesn't want to spend that time with me. That the issue is his.
I have learned to throw the ball in his court and know the difference between HIS problems and mine - and also which is the most important.
I want to thank everyone here who has dealt with me through the denial and defense process I went through I first joined. I thank you for still offering your advice even when it seemed I wasnt accepting it - maybe through this thread you can see what you all have helped me with so much! And please believe me when I tell you that it is ALL because of you this much progress has been made. I have not talked to anyone else. Only you wonderful people here at SR!
Thank you so much from me - and Im sure from many others on here....
If you would like to take the time to note the progress you have made since joining SR - it would be wonderful to hear :ghug
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Bend OR
Posts: 197
Originally Posted by GiveLove 
You've come a long way, NeedHelp. thanks for sticking it out with us. I'm sure some of the advice you were given early on was a huge pain in the rear.
But apparently it worked :ghug3
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