happy62

I have figured out that the social aspect of quitting alcohol is big for me. First, telling (or not telling people) that I've quit is difficult sometimes. My party buddies don't know what kind of relationship we need to have if I don't drink. Acquaintances think I have a "defect". Family- don'e even go there- they were in such denial of my problem that they are in total shock (oh really?!?).

And if it's not enough to see and be concerned about other people's reactions to it- then there's ME!! I'm not the funniest person in the room anymore. I get bored at our social gatherings and find myself going home pretty early. I don't have so much to say as I did. Right now, I think I'm just boring.

I didn't realize that a part of recovery and staying sober would be creating a sober "social life". I think I thought it meant just never drinking again but, it's bigger than that. I'm starting to realize that, for me, that includes finding new interests and new friends.

I'm wondering what others have discovered like that. What else did you have to do or change that you really didn't expect? What parts of your life were affected or altered that was a surprise to you? How did you feel about going through it then and how do you feel about it now?

Why isn't just quitting drinking enough? (I know the answer to that quesion for myself, it just feels better to ask the universe to answer it for me).

tommyk

I know exactly what you mean.

At one point I decided I had to take off the alcohol mask and be me.

The idea terrified me, the unknown of it all was paralyzing.

But I did it, and I like the alcohol-free me.

I'm glad I gave living alcohol-free a chance otherwise I would never have known the pure pleasure of just being myself and not having to put on a false, alcohol-enhanced face. Did my interests and friends change? Better believe it! I was in a cocoon (sp?) when I drank, after I quit drinking this butterfly spread its wings and flew. Who knew there was such a wonderful enjoyable world out there? I found out when I quit drinking.

ANGELINA243

I only had to change one thing when I got sober: Everything!

Anna

You are right, stopping drinking is the beginning, but only the beginning.

All aspects of my life changed. I started doing things that felt right and some things that I done before I started drinking. For me, it was a double-edged sword, because I found out that some of the 'good' things I had believed about myself just weren't true. But, then there were things I found that I really liked. In other words, I threw off the layers and began to unearth my true self. Mia Farrow speaks about such as a transformation as 'What falls away'. What fell away from me were all the layers that I buried myself under. I got back to walking/hiking, which has helped me immensely. I also started reading again and really enjoying books. And, I don't go out as much as I used to, but that's the way I want it.

NewDayNow

Thanks for your post Happy and thanks for your very special answer Anna.

As for me--

I've changed about half of everything, social included. Now I'm working on the other half.

Mostly, I'm just changing me.

Ed

mxchaos

change is good or at least it was for me

happy62

The thing is, for I don't know how how long, I kept thinking, "It's the drinking. I should really quit. If I did, things would be so much better.". So, I finally did! Somewhere in my head I thought I had climbed the mountain and should be coming down the other side.

Now, I am running up against things that are pretty tough themselves. I'm not perfect, even without the alcohol (dang it).

I have some resistance to joining a 12 step program. I QUIT drinking!! Why would I need to go to a meeting that helps people remain alcohol-free?

But, I'm starting to think I should go. Maybe try one. Get a first hand experience with what it is. Anyone else experience this? Pros, Cons?

I'm uncomfortable with several areas of my life: friendships- I'm not relating to any of my close friends right now. Work- not great and rosey like I expected (hey, I have more to give than I used to so why doens't anyone see that). Personal- house isn't clean, haven't started exercising like I told myself I would. How do you rebuild after becoming sober?

CarolD

I did change 90% of the life I had as a drinker.
Why? Because it needed changeing to fit the new me.


I was single...so I found an AA group with mostly singles.
We did so many interesting and fun things ..we also stayed sober.


For me...AA has been and is is an awesome adventure
I think you should try several different meetings
before you decide if AA is for you.
Every meeting has a different "flavor: of recovery.

Congratulations on your progress...

coffeenut

You are NOT boring. You are at the very beginning of making a positive change in your life, that's gonna take some time getting used to. Sit back and enjoy the ride. The sober ride is so much better than anything I EVER did, drunk. Anything.

NewDayNow

Hi Again Happy62,

Although I have liked all of the AA meetings I've been to so far, I am still floating around. Because I plan on staying sober, I feel I have plenty of time to find just the right place.

I sometimes feel the same way and then I have to be honest with myself and take note of the facts. All of these things are slowly getting better. A little better every day.

I think Coffeenut is right. We should enjoy the ride.

Ed