Maggs

Yesterday, I think I ate and drank every non-alcohol beverage in site. Last night I had the wildest dreams, everything from a roll-over, drowning, being surrounded and whipped by maple trees, and being naked in most of them.
Gosh, wonder if these are the dreams of someone who's life is outta control?
Though I'm sure Freud would be disappointed there wasn't a phallic symbol to be found. Oh, wait- beer bottles. Lots of alcohol in these dreams, but I don't recall drinking anything in my dreams. So maybe that's a good sign.

Today is the true test though. I mentioned I am an assistant manager of a liquor outlet. Well if I'm working, I'm usually alone. Coincidentally my boss decided yesterday he's taking the week off. So I'm in charge till next Friday.
I wish I had a few more days to shore up my resolve. Though right now, I feel very resolved. Which is easy at 6am. I'm an evening alcoholic. Thankfully I have someone coming in to help at the end of the day, so that takes away the temptation of sneaking one of those lil 2 ounce on-packs they put on liquor bottles nowadays. And I can't bring anything home.
I'm actually doing a return on the alcohol I have in the house today.

I'm just busy reaffirming my reasons to not drink this morning. I do so
want my life back to some resemblesance of functional and normal. I'm tired
of waking up tired/sad/ashamed/bruised... and so on. My teenagers have had enough of hearing their parents scream and pound the **** out of each other. Not all the time, but one too many times.

I've tried every alcoholics avoidance of the truth; moderation, weekends only, and only light beer no hardstuff. But true to powerless nature I always slide back into drunken oblivion eventually. Black-outs are getting worse, and so is the violence. I want my sanity back. I want some normalcy in my house. Disfunctionality lives here- should be a gold plaque over my fireplace.

Any realistic suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I will not drink today is the mantra. I have along with me my dusty recovery books and bottles of water.

Thanks all,
Maggs

NewDayNow

Hi Maggs,

Three days is a good start. A realistic suggestion. Just don't drink today.

Ed

parentrecovers

hey maggs, congrats on your sober days. are you reaching out at aa meetings? good to have folks to call. hugs, k

Maggs

I hate candy corn. But thank you. I'm not sure if I'll go to AA this time, still debating that one. Had a bad experience last time. But I know it can be a good thing. I
do believe in the concept though. Well, off to work.

Eclipse

One Day at a Time! Hang in there!

Mattcake

Congrats on day 3 Maggs As suggested, just don't drink. Some people find that meetings help... Or keep posting here, reaching out is by far the best way to go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggs

I'm just busy reaffirming my reasons to not drink this morning.... I will not drink today is the mantra.

I love affirmations Here's another suggestion... Instead of saying "I will not drink today", how about telling yourself "I am free of drink today"? It may seem like it's the same difference, but if you focus on the "yes" instead of the "nots", you'll avoid feeling deprived, and you'll reinforce the positive aspects of quitting.

Good luck

Hope

That is awesome

Just don't drink today. Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.

You can do it!

Missymae737

You can do this!!!

It does get easier with each passing day...

Congrats on your sober time...

Maggs

Thanks everyone.
Home for lunch, so far, so good. I keep looking at everything as poisonous. lol.
I looked around today at all the bottles and thought, 'there's alot of misery here
just waiting to be drank.' It won't be me.

Thanks again for the encouragement.

Hope

Maggs,

That is a good way to look at it.

Alcohol= Misery .... Poison.... Suffering.

Nothing good in there.

Life is better on the outside of the bottle.

least

Congrats on your sober start! Keep moving forward, one day at a time! YOu can do this. You can have a better life without the alcohol messing it up.

Welcome!

Maggs

Day's over, and it went really good. One more day, than I have 2 off. Soooo
looking forward to being home and turkey-ing up. (Thanksgiving here on Monday)
I can't say it was easy being around it all day. I don't know...
I wouldn't recommend this enviroment for recovery. But sometimes we have to do
what is necessary and just try to look at it differently. See ourselves differently. Tomorrow is another day.
One day, one hurdle at a time. I don't want to look too far in advance.

Like, I'm supposed to go for a product tasting seminar in November, and I'm already thinking of excuses. But, I know. Slow down, worry about November in November.

Thanks again for the support.
Maggs

CarolD

Welcome....