definition of conceit, definition of conceited

an original definition by J. E. Brown

conceited
adj.

1. Self-deceived.
2. To be conceited means to believe better of oneself than the evidence would indicate. Often seen in personal ads, esp. of those who believe themselves to be attractive, youthful, or thin, against all photographic evidence to the contrary. Conceit often shows up as denial, as seen in rude people who believe they are good housemates, and in abusive people who believe themselves to be good marriage material. Also in certain talent show contestants who falsely believe that they can sing. ;^)
Often accompanied by denial that one's actions reflect badly on one's character.

conceit
n.

1. Self-deceit.
2. An attitude of "Other people are judged by their actions; but I must be judged by my self-image and my intentions." (Double Standard)
3. Any attempt to deceive others by substituting self-serving alternative viewpoints.
Example: "I know I robbed that bank, but I really needed the money. And yes, I scared all of those hostages, but I'm really not like that, I'm a good person, I'm just misunderstood. I don't deserve to be in prison. Please let me go!"
Example: "No, I wasn't leading you on; I was only trying to be nice."
4. Having a tendency to exaggerate one's own acts of tokenism, as if they were the pattern of one's life.
Example: A person who once gave a box of canned goods to the poor, and now describes herself this way: "I believe in helping the needy."


Accusations of conceit are popular among verbal abusers.
Example: "Do you think you're perfect?"

Related: Paranoia. Paranoids, specifically those suffering from delusions of grandeur and delusions of persecution, have both been described as having an inflated sense of importance, a sense of having been singled out for special treatment. These delusions seem to be far removed from the land of simple conceit, but sometimes I meet people who fit somewhere in the middle, who make me wonder if it's all the same continuum; for examples, see the excerpts below.

Excerpts from my book (in progress)

Conceited persons often behave as if their Bible reads:

The rules that apply to everyone else don't apply to you. In particular, even the structure of reality has special rules where you are concerned. And where people other than you are concerned, the rules differ. Consider the man who steals an apple from a neighbor: he has stolen, he has committed an act of theft, and so, obviously, he is a thief. In those four simple words, his action becomes a statement about who he is and what he is. But those same rules don't apply to you: If you steal an apple from a neighbor, it must be because you were hungry, and because the neighbor left his gate open, and because your neighbor never told you you couldn't have an apple. :^)

-- J. E. Brown

I once changed my answering machine message to say,

"If you're a friend or family member, press 1 now.
(pause) If you're a drug dealer, prostitute, or telemarketer, press 2 now.
(pause) I'm sorry, no one is available to take your call. Please leave a message."

One day a telemarketer called. He seemed really worked up. He left this message:

I am a telemarketer. I am not the enemy. I am not the enemy!

That's a perfect example of what "conceit" means: Being blind to what you are.

-- J. E. Brown