Coolmummy

Sorry, I've been seriously wallowing in self pity - yet again, didn't get a job I had an interview for, feeling very useless and alone. Can't seem to explain the feelings of hopelessness to anyone. Haven't had a drink but have come very close. I spend my days at home, cleaning the house, crying, going to bed at 8.30 with a cup of hot chocolate, starting again the next day. Money is tight and my husband won't let me know how worried he is in case I go 'mad' again - I have a long history of hideous depression. Don't want to go down that route again, can feel it coming. At least no-one can blame the drink this time. HA maybe they'll believe I'm really ill now.

Sorry

sas

Ananda

Now that you are sober it IS a good time to talk to a doctor about the depression.

I'm sorry you are feeling bad....I know you will remember a drink will only make the depression worse in the long run (hug)

Horselover

(((COOLMUMMY))) I am so sorry you are going through so much now. The interviewing process is a pain in the you know what! My husband did it for months and he took the rejections quite personal. Its hard not to, but they aren't personal. My husband also has depression and takes medication for it. Have you ever done that? It has helped more then I can explain to you. It takes awhile for them to get the medication right, but depression isn't a character defect. Its really not. I think you should check with a doctor (probably have already and sorry if I'm stating the obvious). I hope you find the answers and don't withdraw from SR when you're feeling bad CM. We want to know about it and we want to help if we can. We care. Really!! Glad you came back and you're handling it sober. It isn't easy, is it?

Anna

Yes, I do hope you talk to your dr about depression. My depression came long before I began drinking and I couldn't get and stay sober until I had it diagnosed and treated.

And, I recently went through the job search thing and interviewing and all that goes with it, and it's really hard. It's hard to not take it personally, and I know I had days when I just wanted to give up. It's hard to have faith that the right job will come along, but it will. Try to stay positive!

lostbutterfly

I was thinking about you. :ghug3 So sorry you didn't get the job at the YMCA. I've been on antidepressants for ages. Go, go, go to your doctor. Why suffer if there is a pill that can take it away? (it was that thinking that got me into this mess in the first place...but you know what I mean!) And be patient - they take a few weeks to work. They don't make you manically happy but they do stop your mind dragging you down into the deep dark pit.

caitlin666

:ghug3 theres a wee hug for ya coolmummy.


im sorting out a change of meds at the moment, and not feeling too chipper myself. but i know theres a light there, took a while but i can see it.