sistergldnhair

I got a call from Florida rehab today about AS. His counselor said they have had to Baker Act him and have brought him to a hospital. He was talking to the psychiatrist and said he's been having racing thoughts, thoughts of hurting himself, didn't want to be alone...she said with the history and what they are seeing, that they think he MAY have signs of bipolar.

He called my work today from the hospital, (because of the 800 number), and wants me to call him. He spoke with a close friend of mine, said he knows he's stuck where he is for a couple of days, but does not want to go back to the rehab...hates it, there so strict...like a prison...and he wants me to call him there. I just got the number so I'll have to talk to him.

I know you all know how I am feeling. I'm broken up that he's emotionally hurting, and my heart says go get him, and my head knows he is where he has to be right now. But it kills me in the process....

I'll keep you posted...

Eileen

Impurrfect

(((Eileen)))

I'm sorry he is going through this but I would go with your HEAD on this one, not your heart.

He's where he needs to be, and if he leaves rehab the first chance he gets, that's his choice. If he keeps screwing up, he will find what prison is really like, and wish he had stayed at rehab. That's where addiction leads most of us, "jails, institutions, death".

I had the option of free rehab when I was using (provided by the county). I didn't want to, because I wanted to keep using. I got my own version of "rehab" when I was locked up for almost 6 months.

I know this is hard, not to run and get him, but he's a grown up, making bad decisions and he needs to face the consequences. That's the only way we A's learn our lessons.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

suemarie

Eileen, I'm so sorry for how you're feeling right now and I know how you are feeling because I am going through the same thing with my son. He is in a city about 40 miles from here and in a V.A. facility and 1\2 way house. I am quite sad where he is. He is suppose to be out there being normal, working a job, being with his kids and being the happy responsible person he used to be before drugs instead of where he is at. But.... It's better than being in the street,eating out of garbage cans and sleeping in cardboard boxes. So I really can relate to how your feeling. My son is also diagnosed with Bi-polar but he wont stay on the meds, he thinks his mind can chase away the demons I just want to cry everytime I think about this. Its so sad and we wonder how in the world does this happen to my son? Its just not fair.

Eileen the only thing you can do is to take each day one at a time and try to give him hope and encouragement and keep praying that he "gets it".

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

hello-kitty

I kind of had to laugh at this. It's such a typical "addict" thing to say. LIKE a prison. But not the same thing AS a prison. However, he may be headed there if he doesn't change his ways. Then he'll be begging to go to court ordered rehab... (I know this.)

You have gone over and above for him. You should be proud. It's hard to cut the cord. But it's a good time to step back and see what he does with everything you've given him. You can't save him. He CAN save himself if he wants to. Sometimes we addicts just don't want to quit. We want to keep using. It doesn't matter what anyone else wants for us. We want to live our lives the way we choose, no matter how bad other people think our choices are. We love our drugs too much.

Until WE are ready to change, there is no change.

Hang tough sistergoldenhair. He'll get it in his own time and on his own terms.

Freedom1990

I know too well that conflict between head and heart.

I almost got dragged to the bottom with my oldest AD because my grandchildren were involved too.

I never understood the full impact my alcoholism/addictions had on my parents until I experienced it with my daughters.

My parents almost loved me to death, and today I make the choice not to enable my ADs.

At first it was extremely uncomfortable for me, but as time went on, it did get easier.

My contact with my oldest AD is extremely limited because I won't tolerate her dumping her garbage on me, even over the phone, because of the choices she continues to make.

mooselips

When my oldest decided to leave rehab, it was entirely up to him. And that's what I told him. I also said he needed to find somewhere to stay because he was not coming back to our home. It made him change his mind, he did stay in rehab a little longer, then left anyway. But, did not return back to our home.


Hugs, this is hard, I know.

He has choices and so do you.

BBD

Hi sister~~I know how hard this is on all of us emotionally. I'm not sure how old your son is but I certainly would tell him that his best bet is to get back in rehab. He can't come home and live there......I know we have to wait till they are really for sobriety but sometimes its seems like the longest wait we've lived....my heart and hugs are coming your way, Bonnie

marle

Sending you some hugs and prayers. Stay strong and don't let him talk you into taking him home. He may leave but it does not have to be you that picks him up and gives him that soft place to fall. Hugs, Marle

littlebird77

I am sorry you are going through this, but all I can think right now is WOW your son is in really good hands. The idea that the therapist is watching him as so is really comforting.

sistergldnhair

Ok, thanks guys. I made the phone call and feel so much better. Yes, he said the place is tough. I can't believe the person I spoke with on the phone was my son. He was straight as an arrow. Been a long time since I heard him this way. He said he just bugged out this morning, his mind was racing, and he was truly afraid to be alone, and asked the counselor to get the doctor quick. He was willing to go to the hospital. He said he felt suicidal. He will see the hospital doctor tomorrow. He got a shot of ativan at the hospital as he was hyperventilating, and he felt calmer. He's not happy there, but knows he is stuck the legally.
We spoke for awhile, and he said he was sorry, for lying to me, stealing from me, and for royally screwing up. I told him he has alot to work on, alot of demons to deal with, but he had to do this on his own. He agreed, said he knows. I feel calmer for the moment. Thanks for being here.

BBD

Great news Sis~~~I'm glad your son was rational when you spoke to him. It's so easy as moms to drift off into the wrong thoughts at times. Sleep well and again~~ good news!! Hugs, Bonnie