AmpHusky

I can only image how hard it is for some on the board to detach. I was with my A for only about a year, and I am having a hard time. I still keep checking the phone records to see who she has been talking too. Now it looks like her phone has been off since Saturday. Her other friends keep calling. So she didn't tell them anything. I hope that means she checked in to some clinic. I checked the jails and she isn't in them. I guess I will wait and see.

sailorjohn

Tell ya what, I know how hard it is. Will say a prayer for you and myself, would be nice if we got some more prayers, good thoughts, whatever. For courage and strength. Meanwhile, we are still required to do the right thing. If we want to detach, then we have to detach. Don't check up on, don't call, let it go, it's truly not in our hands, it never was.

CatsPajamas

It is incredibly hard. I was totally 100% addicted to him and his drama. So, even when he was gone I had to know what he was doing all the time... or I thought I did. I had forgotten how to live my own life. I lost touch with some good friends, and I lost touch with myself.

My recovery friends helped me to detach with love. In the beginning, I could go a few hours without thinking about him or calling him or checking up on him. Then I was able to go a half day, and then a day... you get the picture. I had to find healthy, constructive and positive things to do in order to keep BUSY. Otherwise I just sat around making myself CRAZY.

And you know what? He did what he did REGARDLESS of what I did! All the worrying and checking up etc didn't change the outcome one bit.

It's been quite awhile since I lived like that, but I know myself well enough to know I could probably teleport right back there in a heartbeat. I have to keep in touch with my OWN program of recovery and my recovery friends in order to keep myself in balance.

It gets better. I promise.